sph21
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2013
- Messages
- 279
- Reaction score
- 179
- Age
- 41
The dating world puts too much focus on how to attract women or how to get a girlfriend. Today I want to focus on how to avoid a bad relationship.
When I was a newbie, I asked the wrong question: "how can I make her my girlfriend?". As you might have guessed it, this type of thinking had led me to hell on earth. Most newbies have this kind of mentality.
Until someday, I found this site. I learnt how to accept myself wholly and how to become a man. I've spent my years to learn about how to read body language, how to tell if she's interested and how to initiate kino without making her feel awkward. I learnt a lot of things from this forum too. I need to tell you all this because I want you to fully understand the situation I'm in right now.
I met a girl. She's quite pretty and charming. She lives not far from my home. When we met, she often initiated kino on me. A few weeks ago, she added me on Facebook. When I looked at her profile page, I thought everything was quite normal. On her profile page, her first name is real but the last names are not her name. She's not using her own photograph too. Her profile picture is a dove.
When she initiated kino on me in public, I felt so good and my ego was boosted. I responded by giving her kino too. Unfortunately, I always feel like something is wrong with my interactions with her. I tried to make her curious, but she didn't seem to be affected by them. When I met her, she always tell how everyone else in her village is making her family as a victim. She always tell all good things about herself, like how she doesn't like tattoo because her religion doesn't allow it or all her hobbies or another story of how she's providing her family and won't leave her home because she wants to take care of her younger sisters & brother. She has daddy issue too. I almost fall for her.
Fortunately, I know one of her relative. So, I asked him the truth about her. How I was surprised by his answer. I thought he would've tell all the good things about her. The truth is, she manipulates men for their money. Though this board, I had learnt some valuable lessons and today, I learn some new lessons that I'm about to share with you.
Protect your heart
Anti-Dump and Pook is right. You must protect your heart first. To have a girlfriend is easy, even nice guys can get one. It is better to be single than to have an unhealthy relationship that will break your heart.
Qualify her
You must test her whether she's good enough for you. Beauty doesn't mean good personality. If she's beautiful, she's just lucky. Nothing more. What do you want from her? What do you want from this relationship? These are the most important questions you should be asking if you want to qualify her.
The dark side of beauty
Like attracts like. What this means is that we are more easily attracted to another person who's on an equal look level. Everyone else consider me a good looking man. So, I'm easily attracted to some good looking women. This is quite natural.
A good looking woman is not always a good person. If she's a manipulative type of woman, she will use her charm and her good looks to get what she wants in life including money. Depending on her mastery in manipulation and your understanding in that game, this kind of woman is quite hard to spot early in the relationship.
Having a girlfriend doesn't always make you happier
You really don't want to be in a relationship with a girl just because she's so hot and you can show her off to your friends. If she's a bad girl, you will live in misery as long as you let her into your life. Your own peace of mind is more important than to have a girl to be a trophy in your life.
What does her Facebook's profile page tell you about her?
"Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language." - Dale Carnegie
In his book, "How To Win Friends & Influence People", Dale Carnegie explains why a name is so important to the owner. What this means is that if she's not using her real name on her FB page, then she doesn't have enough self-respect. Even if she's so pretty, this is one of red flag to be aware of.
Women put a lot of time just to look good. If she's not using her own picture on her profile page, then this tells a lot about her. If she spent a huge amount of time just to look good why would she not using her real picture?! In my case, she uses a dove as a profile picture. How crazy is that?!
Falling in love makes you stupid
My father always say something like, "don't love her fully. Love her half full". He understands that falling in love does make us unable to think like a man. When we focus too much on emotions, we will become like women. We will become emotional and won't listen to common sense. We can't think rationally when we're in love. Once she knows that you really love her, her mission is over. Her mission is to find love. Don't be stupid. Love her half full.
Kino is a very powerful tool
It is a very powerful tool. Not only for men but also for women. Women can use kino to manipulate men. Read my writings above to find an example of why it is so powerful.
Kino is not everything
Just because she initiated kino on you, doesn't mean she's attracted to you. Notice how I tried to make her curious by saying mysterious things to her but she doesn't react positively? It got worse. Even though she initiated kino many times on me, she never interested in knowing my true self. If a girl is really interested in you, then she can't help to ask everything about you. Curiosity and kino is a good sign that she has a real feeling for you.
A good manipulator can manipulate his/ her body language
Through trials & errors, a manipulator will learn how to use body language to his/ her advantage. I spent a lot of time to learn about body language. When I was with that girl, I put too much focus on reading what her body says about her. It was all positive. I was almost fall for that.
When I was with her, I felt good because she touched me and her body language made a positive impression that she might be interested in me. All those good feelings made me think through emotions and forgot about certain people who can manipulate his/ her body language to his/ her advantage.
Playing as a victim
A girl's basic role in life is to be feminine. What this means is that if she wants to manipulate others, she can be more effective by embracing her feminine nature and becoming a victim. Because being feminine and a victim are complementary tools to manipulate people, a manipulative girl will use this to get what she wants.
This is why you must let go 'nice guy' mentality who tries to save every girl from peril. Don't be her knight in shining armor. Be a prince! A prince doesn't concern himself with petty problems. His concern is whether he gets enough respect from his people.
Fun should be the focus
I tried to have fun with that girl but it was hard. Her focus is always on her problems thus fun is impossible.
An interested girl will find everything about you as a fun experience. Everything is so light and easy. She will not talk about her problems with her boyfriend/ ex-boyfriend in front of you.
We all are Pavlov's dogs. She will associate us with the feelings we give to her. You really don't want to give her the impressions that all you can give her is negative feeling.
Even Robert Greene warns us on his book "48 Laws of Power": "Infection: avoid the unhappy and unlucky". Emotions are infectious. As shocking as it may be, some people draw bad luck to themselves. You really don't want to be infected by the unhappy and unlucky person.
Don't put her on a pedestal
When I had a bad haircut, my self-confidence had plummeted at the bottom. I was so insecure. I needed to feel good again. My insecurity manifested in putting her on a pedestal. She made me feel good. The feeling that I was looking for. When I recovered my own self-esteem, I realized this mistake and put her back on her place. She's no longer my focus.
Nobody is perfect
I'm not perfect. She's not perfect. Nobody is perfect. Just don't use this sentence to justify why you accept her crazy behavior & attitude.
I write this post just to make sure that I won't repeat the same mistakes again. English is not my first language. I might've made some grammatical errors. I guess you'll understand what I'm trying to say here.
Just remember, happiness comes from inside and you're responsible for it.
When I was a newbie, I asked the wrong question: "how can I make her my girlfriend?". As you might have guessed it, this type of thinking had led me to hell on earth. Most newbies have this kind of mentality.
Until someday, I found this site. I learnt how to accept myself wholly and how to become a man. I've spent my years to learn about how to read body language, how to tell if she's interested and how to initiate kino without making her feel awkward. I learnt a lot of things from this forum too. I need to tell you all this because I want you to fully understand the situation I'm in right now.
I met a girl. She's quite pretty and charming. She lives not far from my home. When we met, she often initiated kino on me. A few weeks ago, she added me on Facebook. When I looked at her profile page, I thought everything was quite normal. On her profile page, her first name is real but the last names are not her name. She's not using her own photograph too. Her profile picture is a dove.
When she initiated kino on me in public, I felt so good and my ego was boosted. I responded by giving her kino too. Unfortunately, I always feel like something is wrong with my interactions with her. I tried to make her curious, but she didn't seem to be affected by them. When I met her, she always tell how everyone else in her village is making her family as a victim. She always tell all good things about herself, like how she doesn't like tattoo because her religion doesn't allow it or all her hobbies or another story of how she's providing her family and won't leave her home because she wants to take care of her younger sisters & brother. She has daddy issue too. I almost fall for her.
Fortunately, I know one of her relative. So, I asked him the truth about her. How I was surprised by his answer. I thought he would've tell all the good things about her. The truth is, she manipulates men for their money. Though this board, I had learnt some valuable lessons and today, I learn some new lessons that I'm about to share with you.
Protect your heart
Anti-Dump and Pook is right. You must protect your heart first. To have a girlfriend is easy, even nice guys can get one. It is better to be single than to have an unhealthy relationship that will break your heart.
Qualify her
You must test her whether she's good enough for you. Beauty doesn't mean good personality. If she's beautiful, she's just lucky. Nothing more. What do you want from her? What do you want from this relationship? These are the most important questions you should be asking if you want to qualify her.
The dark side of beauty
Like attracts like. What this means is that we are more easily attracted to another person who's on an equal look level. Everyone else consider me a good looking man. So, I'm easily attracted to some good looking women. This is quite natural.
A good looking woman is not always a good person. If she's a manipulative type of woman, she will use her charm and her good looks to get what she wants in life including money. Depending on her mastery in manipulation and your understanding in that game, this kind of woman is quite hard to spot early in the relationship.
Having a girlfriend doesn't always make you happier
You really don't want to be in a relationship with a girl just because she's so hot and you can show her off to your friends. If she's a bad girl, you will live in misery as long as you let her into your life. Your own peace of mind is more important than to have a girl to be a trophy in your life.
What does her Facebook's profile page tell you about her?
"Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language." - Dale Carnegie
In his book, "How To Win Friends & Influence People", Dale Carnegie explains why a name is so important to the owner. What this means is that if she's not using her real name on her FB page, then she doesn't have enough self-respect. Even if she's so pretty, this is one of red flag to be aware of.
Women put a lot of time just to look good. If she's not using her own picture on her profile page, then this tells a lot about her. If she spent a huge amount of time just to look good why would she not using her real picture?! In my case, she uses a dove as a profile picture. How crazy is that?!
Falling in love makes you stupid
My father always say something like, "don't love her fully. Love her half full". He understands that falling in love does make us unable to think like a man. When we focus too much on emotions, we will become like women. We will become emotional and won't listen to common sense. We can't think rationally when we're in love. Once she knows that you really love her, her mission is over. Her mission is to find love. Don't be stupid. Love her half full.
Kino is a very powerful tool
It is a very powerful tool. Not only for men but also for women. Women can use kino to manipulate men. Read my writings above to find an example of why it is so powerful.
Kino is not everything
Just because she initiated kino on you, doesn't mean she's attracted to you. Notice how I tried to make her curious by saying mysterious things to her but she doesn't react positively? It got worse. Even though she initiated kino many times on me, she never interested in knowing my true self. If a girl is really interested in you, then she can't help to ask everything about you. Curiosity and kino is a good sign that she has a real feeling for you.
A good manipulator can manipulate his/ her body language
Through trials & errors, a manipulator will learn how to use body language to his/ her advantage. I spent a lot of time to learn about body language. When I was with that girl, I put too much focus on reading what her body says about her. It was all positive. I was almost fall for that.
When I was with her, I felt good because she touched me and her body language made a positive impression that she might be interested in me. All those good feelings made me think through emotions and forgot about certain people who can manipulate his/ her body language to his/ her advantage.
Playing as a victim
A girl's basic role in life is to be feminine. What this means is that if she wants to manipulate others, she can be more effective by embracing her feminine nature and becoming a victim. Because being feminine and a victim are complementary tools to manipulate people, a manipulative girl will use this to get what she wants.
This is why you must let go 'nice guy' mentality who tries to save every girl from peril. Don't be her knight in shining armor. Be a prince! A prince doesn't concern himself with petty problems. His concern is whether he gets enough respect from his people.
Fun should be the focus
I tried to have fun with that girl but it was hard. Her focus is always on her problems thus fun is impossible.
An interested girl will find everything about you as a fun experience. Everything is so light and easy. She will not talk about her problems with her boyfriend/ ex-boyfriend in front of you.
We all are Pavlov's dogs. She will associate us with the feelings we give to her. You really don't want to give her the impressions that all you can give her is negative feeling.
Even Robert Greene warns us on his book "48 Laws of Power": "Infection: avoid the unhappy and unlucky". Emotions are infectious. As shocking as it may be, some people draw bad luck to themselves. You really don't want to be infected by the unhappy and unlucky person.
Don't put her on a pedestal
When I had a bad haircut, my self-confidence had plummeted at the bottom. I was so insecure. I needed to feel good again. My insecurity manifested in putting her on a pedestal. She made me feel good. The feeling that I was looking for. When I recovered my own self-esteem, I realized this mistake and put her back on her place. She's no longer my focus.
Nobody is perfect
I'm not perfect. She's not perfect. Nobody is perfect. Just don't use this sentence to justify why you accept her crazy behavior & attitude.
I write this post just to make sure that I won't repeat the same mistakes again. English is not my first language. I might've made some grammatical errors. I guess you'll understand what I'm trying to say here.
Just remember, happiness comes from inside and you're responsible for it.
