"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
No, we can't just be friends!
- Thread starter Angstrom
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
I've had some female friends in the past. Even though they werent all very goodlooking, if they asked me, I would surely have sex with them. Because I thought i could have sex with them wasn't the main reason for these friendships. I was a bit lonely back then and I needed some companionship. When I became more and more popular I spended less and less time with my female friends, and eventually, I stopped seeing them.
This happened because going out with male friends is way more fun and it feels better talking to them because they are of the same gender.
I see loads of friendships between genders where the woman, or the man feels more for the other. I see a lot of guys going out with their female friends just because they hope to bone her someday. But I see some male-female friendships that work out quite well.
I guess someones friendship with a girl is okay if you can be sure of 2 things:
1) I would say no if she asks me to have sex with her.
2) She's not physically interested in me.
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
jakeyboy
Master Don Juan
-claps- well said mate.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
First comes the AFC who pines for the female friend who is not interested. After hanging out with her and listening to her stories of jerks she's been dealing with, he finally gets the nerve to try to date her but, alas, she is not interested: "I hate to ruin our friendship," she says.
As the guy starts to recover from his AFC condition, he will have none of that: "sorry, but our friendship is ruined," he angily says to her. She's a bit sad for losing a friend, but doesn't feel any great loss... after all, her heart is elsewhere. The guy overcompensates fo his wussy ways and becomes a bit of a jerk: he starts getting laid more, but also is disliked by many women for being such an azzhole at times.
Then, sometime in the not too distant future, the guy finally finds his groove: he no longer has difficulty getting dates or getting laid -- it's just a matter of choices to make, between bachelorette #1 and bachelorette #2, and the quality of all the bachelorettes continues to increase. He settles down a bit, and is truly unfazed by the whims of the women he deals with. He takes no crap, but doesn't lash out, either. "It's your loss" is implicit when he calmly, but firmly nexts a gal who gets out of line. He develops precision-grade interest level detection ability every bit as powerful as a sought-after woman's wuss detection ability.
At that point, "LJBF" is not an issue. He knows even the Don Juan of all Don Juans will not be desired by all women. If he sees that a woman is not available or not attracted to him, he can usually see that before wasting his energy on her, and makes his own decision as to whether or not she is a good friend for him based upon what he wants in a friend. The Don Juan no longer has to say "no, we cannot just be friends."
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
If you're already friends with a woman, either date her or don't talk to her anymore unless you're a masochist."
Im sorry but I just dont understand this train of thought. Would anyone care to clarify?
jakeyboy
Master Don Juan
what the guy means, or how i interpret it as
"The only woman you should ever be friends with is your girlfriend.
you seduce her first, (note that you were never really considered friends), when she proves her worth to you, and you guys are in a relationship, you can let your guard down and share things you normally would with a friend.
If you're already friends with a woman, either date her or don't talk to her anymore unless you're a masochist."
when you are attracted to a woman, and you didnt make your intentions known, she thinks you're just a friend, you shouldn't let yourself get hurt by continuing to be her friend. either try to date her, or if she LJBFs you then tell her "sorry, i've got enough friends" then walk away.
its no use being a woman's friend when you're attracted to her. it hurts.
hope i've managed to answer your question mate.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
But you're both losing if she would truly make a good friend.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
If you can't handle it, then by all means keep your distance.
But -- even looking at it from a purely cynical, self-interested point of view -- aren't the absolute best men the ones with the most attractive female friends?
After all, who but the man who gets enough action to be satisfied wouldn't be bothered?
Is it not easy for a man who's stuffed with pizza to ignore a plate of fresh hot nachos?
Food for thought...
although, i do admit it hurts. he has a point. its good to have a lot of female friends .. attractive ones, but that can often turn into trouble.
they get drunk.. hence tey get honry, something happens. n then you're ****ed. its happened to me ..lol
its just personal pref i guess. g00d point.
cheers
although, i do admit it hurts. he has a point. its good to have a lot of female friends .. attractive ones, but that can often turn into trouble.
they get drunk.. hence tey get honry, something happens. n then you're ****ed. its happened to me ..lol
its just personal pref i guess. g00d point.
cheers
Lover or aquaintence...
Think of woman friends this way. If you are already involved a woman, how easy is it to be just friends with another. You know hanging out ,talking, going places.
More chances than not , your already girlfriend will be pissed off if she found out.Women are very territorial about their men. And anyway this friend already knowing you're involved with someone else will probably make a play for you without you even caring. Its all about getting what you can't have. I look at women as a lover or an aquaintence. There is nothing wrong with having one of those because in essence you're always being a gentleman to all women that deserve it. So don't waste your time on something thats a waste of time. Go out with as many as you can and you choose the best one. Remember we are the good catch and a good catch is hard to find.'
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
disciple
Senior Don Juan
The qualities that you want for each are virtually the same in terms of personality and the only difference is that with the girlfriend there is the sexual attraction part of it.
I only have casual friendships with women (workplace, school, etc.) and I even though we may only be friends, I never allow myself to become one of their "girlfriends".
You guys know what I mean.
I don't let them sit and tell me their problems all day or how some other guy is doing them wrong or bash all men in my presence or any of that sh*t.
The reason most men can't just be friends with a woman (especially an attractive one) is because they act like dogs around them instead of cats.
Dogs look for affection and attention, cats don't, although they appreciate it if you give it to them.
Dogs tend to beg and wait for someone to toss them a treat, cats don't.
Cats are independent and can take care of themselves.
Dogs are much more needy.
Cats are not really tamed or domesticated and never lose their natural instincts.
Dogs will obey and can be broken in, especially if they think they will eventually be thrown a treat.
Women prefer men who act like cats as lovers and sex partners.
Women prefer men who act like dogs as pets, servants, and girlfriends to cry on when a real man breaks their heart.
DjDreamer
Master Don Juan
LoL
I don't think it can get any more simpler or clearer than that...
What sort of man is the friend of a woman that thinks, "you're not good enough for me to have sex with"? Now that's just a total lack of self respect and what woman wants a man that has no self respect?
MightyMate
Master Don Juan
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- Nov 9, 2005
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typical
Master Don Juan
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.