no spark

[Torque22]

Hey, I've gone on four dates with a girl I really like (we've known each other very casually before that).

She basically said I'm awesome and lots of fun to spend time with, but there's no spark. She also said she would really like there to be one, and that we could try to go on a couple more dates. I said I didn't know yet.

I know there will be others, but right now I'm interested in her. Is there no way and should I cut my losses now, or could it still come? If it could, how do I influence it/increase my chances?

Help/advice would be appreciated.

 

[Iceberg]

Are your dates escalating physically? Anything sexual happening?

If she's already telling you that there's no spark, then anything you do to create a spark will look obvious and pre-planned.

Off the top of my head, and with the limited info you gave us, the only advice I have is to go no contact with her. Leave her in the wind, and maybe try to start things up again in 3 or 4 weeks.

Sounds like you've bored her into submission. She needs to forget about that.

 

[Torque22]

Dunno if it sounds pathetic, but we haven't even kissed yet, nothing besides some touching.

Also, I think it was pretty obvious I liked her, so that might also make it more difficult.

 

[Tiguere]

yea she basically called you a pvssy for not taking the lead and escalate .

she is not gonna jump on your crotch and unbuckle your belt buddy.
dont forget the objective for going on a date( to get laid) NEVER LOSE FOCUS.

 

[Mike32ct]

If she says there's no spark, you have very slim odds of turning this around. You are bordering on friendzone, but as a last ditch effort, I would try this:

1. Go no contact for a while like Iceberg said.

2. Then if she REALLY wants to see you again, say "Hanging out is cool, but honestly I'm really NOT looking for a FRIEND."

<This will send the message that you are sick and tired of her G-rated dates.>

3. Try to set a date.

4. Make a move on the date.

5. If you don't get at least a makeout, it's over. Cash in your remaining chips and leave the casino before you go broke.

 

[Iceberg]

As little as a year or two ago, I made the mistake of giving a woman 4 dates with me with no sex. I actually tried. Every date would end with a makeout and me saying, "Let's stop by my place for one more drink."

Some girls are just corny and don't put out.

But in your case, I get the impression that you haven't tried anything. And that she's the one (like I was) getting bored, waiting for something sexual to happen.

Like the other guy said. She's not going to unbutton your pants for you and hop on for a ride. There's a motto etched in the front door at my company "Don't ask. Don't get." Words to live by. You're not putting her in a position to be sexual with you, and as a result you're not getting anything.

 

[Torque22]

Thanks for the replies,

I've been reading a bit more on this site, which is an awesome resource btw, and yeah, in hindsight I missed a ton of kino opportunities, and made some other stupid mistakes.

I occasionally see her outside dates; should I just act distant when I do, or ensure I don't see her at all until I try the next date in a few weeks?

Do I have to be extra careful with being subtle when using kino, because of her telling me there's no spark, or do you think it's best if I just do what I would've gotten away with before her telling me that?

 

[iliketennis]

don't worry about being subtle. don't worry about somethign 'looking preplanned'. just do it