no sex for me :/

[DragonBlood]

Great to have someone 'waiting' for you. In the meantime gain more experience with eager partners so when this one IS ready things dont become BORING.

I see no reason to hold out, she could blue ball you at any time if this is how she feels not just the present. Btw, shes underage.

 

[Krueg]

Your only 19, and she's only 17...

Just have fun with her, maybe she's waiting til she's 18

 

[DanZy]

Guys completely ignore this dude, you can tell him the secrets to everything and he'll ignore it because he doesn't like the answer

 

[nismo-4]

rsofa, you might be a little too young to understand why right now but there's a reason why

It's obvious. She has low interest and he cares too damn much. And she TOLD HIM TO GET SEX ELSEWHERE!

OP, This is a lost cause. She loves you. Loves you my ass! This sounds like the friendzone on steroids. Spin more plates and you'll have a better chance of getting sex. Drop this girl if she won't put out. Don't cater to her terms. But since she controls when sex will happen, just leave. Unless you want to be one of her many beta orbiters. Judge nismo's ruling.

Case closed. Get out of my court so I can think about whether I should lock this thread.

 

[rsofa]

Well my intentions were kind of clear...
I want to have sex with her
I dont want to dump her, ill dump her when I'll se im not gonna get laid ever.


No the reply dump her and band others isnt in this category.

An for others, i kind of think, she has me for a limited time, and then she will dump me...like she did with the other one...But i dont know...I once got accest to her facebook, and she was telling her friend how she loves me and stuff.. I can wait a bi longer...maybe gain some more trust and then maybe something will happen.. My friend waited for a year to get his gf in bed

 

[DragonBlood]

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/persistence.htm

From everything you have said she loves you fb says so etc but the social stigma of her age is playing against you hard. Thats fine rsofa, but work on your options too! It would suck to finally land this girl if there was a better one standing right in front of you all year long. No woman should hold this much power over your life. Who is the prize here? Who is investing more? Do you think she would wait if the roles were reversed?

 

[DonGorgon]

simok;le if a females refuse to have sex with you her attraction level is not high enough and you need to find one who is that into you

 

[rsofa]

@dragonblood
The story at the beginig of this link...thats me an her..
I saw her in school, and added her on fb and one day we met and chatted then me and my friends invited her out, she became a good friend... 10monts later she cracked... before telling me there is no way she will want me...
Che cracked when we went camping with friends...i convinced her to sleep with me in the tent...she did, it was cold, i huged her, touched her, she did the same....the next day she went on a trip for a week, we text all week and when she came back she couldnt resist me..

 

[jafyk]

Rsofa (what does that name even mean). Ahem! To the matter at hand. I realize you are young and probably don't get a lot of things. For all I know I could be wasting my time posting this reply. All the same I will go ahead and do it.

There are 4 noble truths of the Buddhist 2 of them state: (1) Suffering arises from the attachment to desire (2) Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases. You are obviously attached to this girl. Which is what we call ONE-itis here on Sosuave. Part of your education here is to break that mindset and train yourself to develop a thick skin. So, like some posters above me said there are only 2 solutions to your dilemma and one of them is to break up with this girl. Here are my reasons why it would benefit you to do this.

(1) If you can't break up with her and move on. Then it's obvious you are attached and in some ways she's in control of you. Whether you agree or not.

At 19 and 17 you are both talking about being in love and yada yada but you both haven't even lived and had all the experiences you would like. If you do stick around and in a few years down the road you think you are getting serious with her you will be setting yourself up. Why? Because between 19-23 a lot of girls want to have fun and see what's out there. So, she's probably gonna either cheat on you, break up with you. If in a perceived best case scenario you both get married. Later in life she'll have all this regrets about how she didn't get to do all those crazy stuff and probably still cheat on you or divorce to experience that since you've been the only one she's know or you might even be the one to do those things. You 2 might be the exception to rule and maybe live happily ever after.

(2) Your second option might be to spin plates which might include her. Some of those plates you are spinning may be girls you can be fvcking (You don't need to share such details with her). By spinning these plates you get to know what you like or don't like in a woman. I'm sure by the time you've spun a few plates you might start to realize that what you think is love you feel for this girl isn't that; but merely, the hope that one day she might give it up to you. By then she might be probably in too deep and you end up breaking her heart (If that matters to you). Something else you should know is that women are very clever at deception. There are women that spin plates too. There are guys they use for conversation, others for sex etc. Obviously she won't tell you which of those categories you fall into. For all we may know she's doing some other guy and is good at hiding it from you while playing dumb.

 

[PUK]

Hi OP

Sounds like you need to actually seduce her and just "sweep her off her feet" when it comes it too getting your freak on

Use more foreplay

Actually have you actually talked about sex in general with your girl
Maybe your girl needs to feel confortable talking about it before actually doing it...with you

 

[rsofa]

@jafyk

My username is a typo, already tried asking for a new one or changing it, but no luck

I'm not really into this spinning plate thingy...I think most of the girls in my place get wild and stuff before being 18... She was with a lot of different guys, and then she met me and stopped....A lot of them do this, some are 21 now and still not gone wild... I don't know maybe the time will come.
I am kind of not ready to leave her, at least a little bit of time...if things don't get better.

@PUK Yea that's a good idea, thinking about it for the weekend now.
I tried talking with her about sex, she is really shy and doesn't really want to talk about its, says its disgusting...
But sometimes if we are both in a good mood I can get her in to bed where we just cuddle and have fun, and there we can talk a bit...but just a bit...

She also has a really low self esteem... If I say she is pretty, she just laughs like, no way and she really is beautiful, a lot of guys say that, but she just doesn't believe me or anyone else of course.... I asked her what bothers her most on her and she said everything... she is not a perfectionist ... that i'm sure of. She doesn't wast 5 hours in front of a mirror... and is even more simple then me probably.

 

[jafyk]

@jafyk

My username is a typo, already tried asking for a new one or changing it, but no luck

I'm not really into this spinning plate thingy...I think most of the girls in my place get wild and stuff before being 18... She was with a lot of different guys, and then she met me and stopped....A lot of them do this, some are 21 now and still not gone wild... I don't know maybe the time will come.
I am kind of not ready to leave her, at least a little bit of time...if things don't get better.

It is not "a spinning plate thingy". It is a required practice for you to have in order to avoid ONE-itis (an unhealthy attachment to one girl. wherein you become depend on her and likely to revert back to AFC ways). The fact that your not even ready to give her up even though she's not going to give you what you want is further proof. The thing is the more stubborn and closed minded you are the longer your hurt and time to develop into a DJ. Spinning plates doesn't necessarily mean screwing all the girls you talk to or it being all about girls. Your plates can also be hobbies and other interest. Although for the point of this thread your major concern is s3x. Isn't it? Which you cna get from one of the other girls. You said this girl was seeing other guys and stopped but she didn't have sex with any of them did she? Did she stop seeing them or did they stop seeing her after realizing she'd put them through the same thing she's doing with you? Maybe she settled for you since you are willing to hang around up to a year hoping she gives it up to you. Good luck. They say a word is enough for the wise.

 

[rsofa]

It is not "a spinning plate thingy". It is a required practice for you to have in order to avoid ONE-itis (an unhealthy attachment to one girl. wherein you become depend on her and likely to revert back to AFC ways). The fact that your not even ready to give her up even though she's not going to give you what you want is further proof. The thing is the more stubborn and closed minded you are the longer your hurt and time to develop into a DJ. Spinning plates doesn't necessarily mean screwing all the girls you talk to or it being all about girls. Your plates can also be hobbies and other interest. Although for the point of this thread your major concern is s3x. Isn't it? Which you cna get from one of the other girls. You said this girl was seeing other guys and stopped but she didn't have sex with any of them did she? Did she stop seeing them or did they stop seeing her after realizing she'd put them through the same thing she's doing with you? Maybe she settled for you since you are willing to hang around up to a year hoping she gives it up to you. Good luck. They say a word is enough for the wise.

Well i do hang out with other girls and stuff, i go to collidge and see her only on weekends so i cant even be 2 attached. Thats probably good.
She stopped seing them because she said i was way more fun and that the others just want a 1 night stand. She just ignores other guys if they invite her out or something, but they are still annoying and talk to her and stuff..

 

[m7ytn]

Well i do hang out with other girls and stuff, i go to collidge and see her only on weekends so i cant even be 2 attached.

Being attached is not a physical thing... You could go 6 months without seeing a girl, but still be attached. It is a mindset...if this girl walked away tomorrow and you could not honestly say you would not give a sh*t, then you are attached.

Responding to what you said earlier, do not think that just because a girl sowed some wild oats before she was 18 that there isn't more to come. If you start falling into that trap by believing "she will never leave," you are setting yourself up for failure.

Never put yourself into a relationship where you are accepting of something you are not comfortable with. You are young, and it is probably going to take some hard, HARD knocks before you realize that it never works. Usually when I see guys stay with a girl, putting up with a situation they would rather not be in, it doesn't end well. More often than not they give her all the power, put up with a lot of stuff they aren't comfortable with, just for her to turn around and crush him some way.

What you NEED to do is think about what you want in life, and in a girl... then based on that, develop a strict personal constitution. Once you have that, do not break it, do not bend your own self governing rules...do not put up with sh*t that you promised yourself you wouldn't.

Not having a personal constitution is how guys get sucked into ****ty relationships with an offset balance of power not in their favor. If you say to yourself "This is something I refuse to deal with," you will put your foot down from the start. It sounds like she has a strict personal constitution...and included in it is a provision that says "I'm not gonna be coerced into having sex when I don't want to." She put that up front before you were dating. You didn't take this at face value and thought you had the power to amend her constitution...And, granted there are cases where this can happen when you play your cards right... But if it hasn't happened in 4 months, she is not going to change it unless it is of her own accord. You have already set the precedent...she knows, or at least thinks you are not going anywhere.

Mentally draft a strict personal constitution, then stick to it. You will be happier, and a stronger man.

 

[rsofa]

News update.

I went with her to my home in my collide city for a day. We came on Friday and slept over and came home the next day on the evening.
Well I was suprised..
The first day she let me touch her boobs, I also managed to take her shirt of... We were making out a lot.. And did stuff over night, she touched my Di*k and stuff, but mostly over my pants..
Then the next day I slided my hand into her pants ...she only let me at the beginign... somewhere where the ****oris is.. it think
So i began rubbing it and she said "it feels weird or strange" she felt something because she was moving a lot and heavy breathing and got hot... I dont know if she didnt want to confess it felt good or she just doesnt know that feel...she said she never fingered before... Later I managed to get my finger to the hole a little bit...she said it hurts, but she was really wet. At some point when i wass rubbing her I felt something wet came from somewhere...maybe she came idk...
She didnt want sex or to push my fingers in the hole, also didnt show me her vagina, I saw it just a lil bit.

Thats all .

Im on the right way i think