No Second Date? It's OK!

[EyeBRollin]

First date tonight that owns a $3M+ house. Good body language during our conversations. Toward the end, she said she wanted something to eat, but nothing was open. I asked her if she wanted to call it a night, she said let’s see what’s around. Nothing was open around the area after we walked a bit. Dropped her off at her car in the busy parking lot, she gave me a glazing look after the hug. Maybe stupidly I said, it’s public here. I was stroking her back for a few seconds and left it at that.
We will see =|

You’re being too nice (weak).

You have to lead. If the logistics are not there for sex, you end the date abruptly after an hour. You are a busy man with shvt to do. Leave her wanting more.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You’re being too nice (weak).

You have to lead. If the logistics are not there for sex, you end the date abruptly after an hour. You are a busy man with shvt to do. Leave her wanting more.

I don't go out with any girls with crappy logistics. Not worth it lol

 

[EyeBRollin]

I don't go out with any girls with crappy logistics. Not worth it lol

Not possible. What I mean is if he met her halfway, or didn’t pick her up from her house, etc.

 

[SW15]

I don't go out with any girls with crappy logistics. Not worth it lol

A fair amount of first dates have crappy logistics for getting sex. A lot of logistics comes down to being a guy who lives within walking distance of decent date hosting spots.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Not possible. What I mean is if he met her halfway, or didn’t pick her up from her house, etc.

A fair amount of first dates have crappy logistics for getting sex. A lot of logistics comes down to being a guy who lives within walking distance of decent date hosting spots.

I guess it depends on how you met the girl. On the swipe apps, if you don't aim for sex on the second date then you can say goodbye to your time and money investment. Also depends on where you live lol. I live close to downtown houston, so I can get away with making a girl come to my area on the first or second date. When I was living in a suburb outside the city, nope lol.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

You can lie to yourself that these girls "aren't on your level" or you can actually accept that YOU need to get better. You're going to be waiting around forever if you continue doing what you're doing. If you want to get no *****, then "Your level" is fine. If you want *****, then you need to Level up.

Newsflash: You don't need to take girls on dates to have sex with them. You need to get their ***** wet. Women will use the possibility of sex to manipulate naive and lustful men for food, drinks, non sexual companionships, etc.

Taking women on a date and spending money involves Zero game. ZEROOOOOO. All women want attention and flattery. This is what wining and dining a women does. It also bruises your ego when you put all this effort in, and you ultimately get played.

If you are taking women on dates without being sexual, confident, masculine, bold, smooth, AND she knows you want something long term, then you're ultimately shooting yourself in the foot, knee, ass, and giving her your balls.

A second date is the last thing you should be seeking if nothing escalated after already taking her out. "Hey Amanda, I know I already spent money and time on you, and I didn't get your ***** wet enough, but I'd love the chance to spend MORE money on you and waste my time again so I can MAYBE get you to like me this time....." I almost gagged reading that out loud to myself.

If I were to give you my overall personal advice:

1. Create more of a sexual and direct vibe to your demeanor when meeting and interacting with women. Don't be so quick to take women on dates. Try and turn her on instead.

2. If you are truly looking for a long term partner, then say you are open to the idea of a LTR but really just going with the flow and seeing how the vibes go. Once the girl knows that's what you want, you're opening room for her to use you for more dinner dates, drinks, time wasted, etc. It screams NICE GUY. I believe that this hurts you with women because many of them want sex like men, but act like they want something serious. I'm all for being up front and straightforward when it comes to casual sex, but this is different because you say you want an LTR. You're better off treating them like someone you want to hook up with, and then if things go well and you hook up a few times, you can evaluate where you want to go from there.

Just know these women who "aren't on your level" and ghosting after one date have most likely ****ed a dude in a car for free after one interaction.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I guess it depends on how you met the girl. On the swipe apps, if you don't aim for sex on the second date then you can say goodbye to your time and money investment.

Dating is always a sunk cost as far as time and money. Know that going in. I don’t know why so many guys assume the contrary.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Dating is always a sunk cost as far as time and money. Know that going in. I don’t know why so many guys assume the contrary.

A lot of single girls will self-rationalize themselves out of dating a guy due to FOMO and paranoia. Think of sex as like a form of security deposit with these women so they can't back out of it. A girl screwing a high value guy is like you going to a Porsche dealership and looking at a Porsche. The more you think about it, the more than likely you will talk yourself out of buying it or have buyers remorse. If you are a safe beta guy that gives out relationship vibes, then she will see you as a smart purchase such as a rav4 or something.

Combating Buyer's remorse is a real thing for luxury brands.

 

[member160292]

2. If you are truly looking for a long term partner, then say you are open to the idea of a LTR but really just going with the flow and seeing how the vibes go. Once the girl knows that's what you want, you're opening room for her to use you for more dinner dates, drinks, time wasted, etc. It screams NICE GUY. I believe that this hurts you with women because many of them want sex like men, but act like they want something serious. I'm all for being up front and straightforward when it comes to casual sex, but this is different because you say you want an LTR. You're better off treating them like someone you want to hook up with, and then if things go well and you hook up a few times, you can evaluate where you want to go from there.

I am going after quality women that share the same ambition as I do. It takes much more value proposition and patience.

 

[corrector]

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

We also have to understand that most women aren't just looking for meaningless sex first then relationship like men. Think to yourself...How many women would you have given a second date if sex wasn't a factor.....Very few for me lol.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

I am going after quality women that share the same ambition as I do. It takes much more value proposition and patience.

I respect that. But I also think you're hiding behind that statement as an excuse for you not getting laid. Why not hook up with girls while searching for this unicorn of yours?

 

[member160292]

I'll add a tidbit

Don't overdress on the first date, be casual

When I started dating again a little over a month ago, I was wearing a blazer with undershirt. This was congruent with my style, but way too much for the first date. One girl in her mid 20's said I was 'mature' which is not a good thing.
I then switched to polos and was having a little more success. Over the past week, I just put on a slim V-neck and having more second dates. It shows off my physique, which I think is a critical factor when first meeting someone.

 

[member160292]

I respect that. But I also think you're hiding behind that statement as an excuse for you not getting laid. Why not hook up with girls while searching for this unicorn of yours?

Busting a nut is not a priority. I'm still seeing my ex
I had a ONS with a girl 12 years younger and one that I randomly approached at a bar not too long ago. That'll keep me going for a bit. Don't get me wrong, I'm still getting back into this and always trying to find a way to better my approaches. You really only get one shot, so I'm polishing up my 'money slide'

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

Busting a nut is not a priority. I'm still seeing my ex
I had a ONS with a girl 12 years younger and one that I randomly approached at a bar not too long ago. That'll keep me going for a bit. Don't get me wrong, I'm still getting back into this and always trying to find a way to better my approaches. You really only get one shot, so I'm polishing up my 'money slide'

No doubt, we're all here to get better. It's not about busting a nut. It's about not getting played. Your confidence and backbone as a man is the priority. Whether you want her to be a casual **** or LTR, turning her on and getting her attracted to you is the alpha thing to do regardless of whether she meets your standards or not.

 

[member160292]

No doubt, we're all here to get better. But if busting a nut was the priority than we would just use our hand all the time. Your confidence and backbone as a man is the priority. Whether you want her to be a casual **** or LTR, turning her on and getting her attracted to you is the alpha thing to do regardless of whether she meets your standards or not.

Call me queer, but I'm not doing the song and dance to turn her on if she doesn't stimulate me mentally

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

Call me queer, but I'm not doing the song and dance to turn her on if she doesn't stimulate me mentally

Well there's your answer to why you're not getting "second dates". It's not a song and dance. It's called seduction. Something you will need for casual sex partners AND LTRs. But hey if you enjoy bein a robot and spending money on women to screen them and wait for them to "stimulate you mentally" (whatever that means) before finally growing some balls and backbone then more power to ya. If your statement is truthful, then I would call you are a major outlier of men rather than a queer.

 

[corrector]

You got DM advice from @European-DJ. I'd like to see where this thread will go now.

 

[member160292]

You got DM advice from @European-DJ. I'd like to see where this thread will go now.

One piece that he gave me is to tell a wild story to spark attention (yeah no sh!t numnuts) Hadn't occurred to me over the past month, but it was an obvious staple for first dates. I told the girl last night how went to check out a motorcycle on Craigslist at 16, dropped the bike on a test drive and had to buy it. That was the beachhead in her opening up and allowed further conversations to flow.

 

[momentomori]

That would be a reason to attempt to have sex on the first date. The more probable outcome is not to see them again. Having sex on the first date creates emotional investment for the woman provided that the sex is good. There's more pressure now than in the past to have sex on the first date and have good first date sex.

Yes, absolutely my point. No smash on first date = high probability of ghost. Unwillingness to smash in first date = high probability of time waster