No real motivation to meet/date girls anymore

[corrector]

I’ve found nofap to really motivate me to meet woman. However. If over two weeks I feel like I’m going insane.

You said your incel friends are not into porn or fapping right?

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I am lowfap because I am 47 y/o and my libido is low. It has done nothing for me. Lowfap still gives you pressure release.

I think that nofap without dealing with real women just means you will just lower your overall libido and not care that much about women. You will lose intersst in them even sexually and just get further out of the zone.

If you are able to cold approach and meet women, and are in a target rich environment,.then doing some approaches and swipes, along with nofap should be helpful. If you do nothing to actually meet and interact with women then it wont make women magically appear from space and nofap or lowfap would be a wasted effort.

Tbh, your nofap/lowfap will just make you hungry enough to go afternthe same midtier women you want to avoid now. The people here tend to push people to dumpster dive or settle to break dry spells.

One big problem I've personally experienced with low/nofap is that after a few days of it I always get really horrible beer goggles

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Tbh, your nofap/lowfap will just make you hungry enough to go afternthe same midtier women you want to avoid now. The people here tend to push people to dumpster dive or settle to break dry spells.

Yeah that's a good point, especially since no/lowfap gives me beer goggles. I think it's imperative that I don't lower my standards. One of the main reasons I've lost motivation to date is that I'm tired of meeting women I'm not that interested in

 

[Redwood]

Sounds more like burnout

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Sounds more like burnout

Might be. Idk how to get out of it tho

 

[Redwood]

Might be. Idk how to get out of it tho

I'm somewhat in the same boat

 

[Gamisch]

I am lowfap because I am 47 y/o and my libido is low. It has done nothing for me. Lowfap still gives you pressure release.

I think that nofap without dealing with real women just means you will just lower your overall libido and not care that much about women. You will lose intersst in them even sexually and just get further out of the zone.

If you are able to cold approach and meet women, and are in a target rich environment,.then doing some approaches and swipes, along with nofap should be helpful. If you do nothing to actually meet and interact with women then it wont make women magically appear from space and nofap or lowfap would be a wasted effort.

Tbh, your nofap/lowfap will just make you hungry enough to go afternthe same midtier women you want to avoid now. The people here tend to push people to dumpster dive or settle to break dry spells.

Interesting point.

Personally i had to go on a experimental nofap because I've been controlled by my F for way too long. On a laughable streak now , and it does feel like quitting any other substance.

Even now I already reflect with shame how I was hanging out with woman xyz just to get my D wet. After the nut, clarity hits like a truck. Spending the night with a woman who offers nothing but a risky wet hole. Obviously these were desperato fecks rather than passionate entanglements.

I have to say that IF I'd controlled my lust better these women wouldn't even have a chance with me. If you manage to be less driving by lust I guess you'll enter a state of mind a lotta women also have: one where sexis simply less important. From that pov I get their confusion and frustration when they get used for a pump dump. Because sex wasn't on their mind, but the COMPLETE fantasy of a relationship ,love ect. We always think that other people think exactly like us.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

I'm somewhat in the same boat

Have you done anything to combat it thus far? Or are you mostly resigned to the status quo like I am?

 

[SW15]

NoFapwill motivate you. If not. check T levels.

I’ve found nofap to really motivate me to meet woman. However. If over two weeks I feel like I’m going insane.

No porn and no fap is an essential lifestyle practice for meeting women. It does help with your internal game.

Somewhere between 1 - 6 weeks after no porn and no fap is implemented, there's a window of time where aggressiveness is super high and a man can become a spam approacher or at least increase his volume of approaches.

When no porn and no fap becomes a daily lifestyle habit, there wouldn't be a massive aggressiveness spike like that initial aggressiveness spike but there will still be more motivation there to approach in order to get a nut.

If I don't get laid for a certain amount of time, I feel like I'm going insane too.

 

[MtmVaott]

Have you done anything to combat it thus far? Or are you mostly resigned to the status quo like I am?

You get advice and then you react by invalidating the advice because of some reason.

What do you want from a woman and what does she have to be like or do in order to make you interested?

 

[corrector]

No porn and no fap is an essential lifestyle practice for meeting women. It does help with your internal game.

Somewhere between 1 - 6 weeks after no porn and no fap is implemented, there's a window of time where aggressiveness is super high and a man can become a spam approacher or at least increase his volume of approaches.

When no porn and no fap becomes a daily lifestyle habit, there wouldn't be a massive aggressiveness spike like that initial aggressiveness spike but there will still be more motivation there to approach in order to get a nut.

If I don't get laid for a certain amount of time, I feel like I'm going insane too.

He will end up geting bear googles and use tinder to but a nut with mid-tier women rather than do approaches with advice like that.

Apps don't work for you so it's easy to come up with that. However, the apps does for work for him there is nobody on here that will invalidate any advice to going after women in apps. People go with the path of least resistance when it comes to busting nuts, especially if it sanctioned approval by this board (ie the dominant people who claim to be successful). The OP has made a choice he does not want to settle. You can't force him to be happy with settling to mid-tier tinder gals. He prefers the fantasy of the hb10 White woman then any real 5-7 tinder gal, or an hb 8-9 married woman who is just interested in doing hook-ups (just wrong). Who can blame him?

 

[Luni]

or an hb 8-9 married woman who is just interested in doing hook-ups (just wrong).

not sure if morality is a variable in the function of thirst

 

[corrector]

not sure if morality is a variable in the function of thirst

Of course, there are people who are totally okay with this. They make up threads/posts encouraging people to persistently use the boyfriend destroyer line when approaching, or make positive threads about guys who are in a relationship/marriage approaching other women for sex, and yet put on this big moral show against porn (ie including softcore/imagination, etc...) & fapping as though that is somehow a worst resolution of thirst. Well, this time the OP is not an incel so they don't have that argument this time.

 

[corrector]

To the OP, @BergischerLöwe, from what I understand you've been out of the game for 4 years? You should still update yourself and see if you can still get mid-tier women off the apps like before or are able to get better options. Just see who you are matching with and who is willing to go out with you, but you don't have to pursue it beyond there. This would just be a test guage for your current SMV. Maybe it's got better and you can get better prospects or worst.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

What do you want from a woman and what does she have to be like or do in order to make you interested?

Well like I said I want to be in a fulfilling relationship with a woman I'm really excited about, I think I've written something to that effect on this thread already. As far as the qualities I would look for in a woman I don't think my standards are unreasonable. I just want a woman who's reasonably attractive (not instagram model level), cares about her health and takes care of her body, is emotionally stable, has similar values and interests to my own, gets along with me well, and doesn't want kids or have any already.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

He will end up geting bear googles and use tinder to but a nut with mid-tier women rather than do approaches with advice like that.

Apps don't work for you so it's easy to come up with that. However, the apps does for work for him there is nobody on here that will invalidate any advice to going after women in apps. People go with the path of least resistance when it comes to busting nuts, especially if it sanctioned approval by this board (ie the dominant people who claim to be successful). The OP has made a choice he does not want to settle. You can't force him to be happy with settling to mid-tier tinder gals. He prefers the fantasy of the hb10 White woman then any real 5-7 tinder gal, or an hb 8-9 married woman who is just interested in doing hook-ups (just wrong). Who can blame him?

I personally wouldn't sleep with a woman who's married or in a committed relationship. Sleeping with a married woman is considered a sin in my religion

 

[BergischerLöwe]

To the OP, @BergischerLöwe, from what I understand you've been out of the game for 4 years? You should still update yourself and see if you can still get mid-tier women off the apps like before or are able to get better options. Just see who you are matching with and who is willing to go out with you, but you don't have to pursue it beyond there. This would just be a test guage for your current SMV. Maybe it's got better and you can get better prospects or worst.

I haven't had sex in nearly four years but I've fooled around with girls on a limited basis since then. The last time I did anything with a girl and got off from it would have been in February of 2020, but I only saw that girl one time tho and it wasn't actual sex, just oral. it was actually pretty good but I wasn't that attracted to her physically in the end. In '21 and '22 I had one date each of those years. The chick I went on a date with in '21 might have actually been a decent one to be in a relationship with in hindsight, but I didn't pursue it because she lived more than an hour away. A few days after the date, in one of our text conversations she explicitly said she wanted to sleep with me, and although she was pretty cute and I was turned on by the thought of it but in the end I never had sex with her. Maybe the reason why I didn't do it is because I'm always nervous about having sex since I'm afraid of accidental pregnancy. That and since it's been a really long time since I've had any, so it would be pretty nerve wracking for me if I found myself alone with a woman and prospect of sex was on the table.

In fall of '22 I went on a date with another chick from the apps and it went pretty well. I still talk to this girl via text but I haven't met up with her again as she lives more than two hours away. She's alright looking and I've gotten along with her well and she's also into rock n roll like I am, but idk whether or not to keep talking to her and it's a pretty awkward situation for me since I haven't met up with her in literal months but the text conversations back and forth haven't fizzed out for some reason. I'm attracted to her physically I'd say but she's maybe a 6.5-7 out of 10, and although she's not really fat she's not that thin either. She's just kinda tall and somewhat thick if that makes sense. There's also the fact that she's a virgin (at age 21), which is good in the sense that I wouldn't have to worry about a girl's past for once, but I've never taken a girl's virginity before and I and haven't had sex in nearly four years so it kinda feels like I'm a virgin again too. Plus I get the impression that women who are virgins are less likely to be on birth control, which means the risk of accidental pregnancy would be higher. All in all I don't really know what to do with this one, whether or not I should keep talking to her or meet up with her again.

Theoretically I could hook up with a woman from the apps as I've said before, but as I've previously stated the returns I've gotten from the apps have diminished in quality and quantity. In addition I don't really want to go thru the trouble of swiping away and going thru all the hoops just to hook up with an unremarkable woman, it wouldn't be very fulfilling to me. Furthermore I'm not really comfortable with the idea of having sex again until after I get a vasectomy. I'm genuinely creeped out by the fact that at this moment I'm theoretically capable of producing biological offspring. Accidentally getting a woman pregnant would be my worst nightmare, and I'm so afraid of that happening that it's kept me from having sex. I need to get a vasectomy but I'm apprehensive about the procedure itself since it's literally taking a scalpel blade to the nuts and also the stories I've heard about guys getting irreversible chronic pain after getting the surgery. I guess I'm just rambling on about things I've said before at this point but even just reading this post after writing it, it's clear that's I got a few issues going on

 

[corrector]

I personally wouldn't sleep with a woman who's married or in a committed relationship. Sleeping with a married woman is considered a sin in my religion

Of course, but other people (I am referring to @SW15 not @Hamurabimbi) on here who is giving advice for no porn (ie could be just nude or lewdly dressed) and no fap seem to be okay with it. Like I said, I dont get that.
When you think there is no purpose in life beyond getting laid then you have no religion or morality and are functioning like the animals.

 

[Redwood]

Have you done anything to combat it thus far? Or are you mostly resigned to the status quo like I am?

Feels more like the latter right now.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Schopenhauer recommends the disposition of asceticism as the solution of the constant suffering and striving of the human condition. With asceticism one tries to break the never-ending circle of the will by renunciation, resignation, and denial of the will-to-live'

This is a lot like what it says in the Bhagavad Gita, the chief scripture of my religion