Ok guys I found this chick online at a personals site this week and we have been talking. She seems attracted to me. In her profile she does not have a pic, so I asked her today for a pic. She wrote back and said that she needs to get to know me better before sending a pic. I then ask her for her email in subtle way. Told her about a social group we are both interested in and I would give her the details as long as she gave me her email address. No such luck. She wrote back and said she does not need the details, that she knows where this place is. I feel like dropping her right now. What do you guys think?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
No pic no email
- Thread starter AJTD
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
The girl is insecure and your the one worried. Now thats funny.
Listen, if she already seen your profile picture you have the right to see hers. She has no reason to say no!
Since she already refused, its either you work out her insecurities "online" (yuck) or you drop her (which i advise). Get out of the house and meet women "live" so you'll never have to deal with these silly issues of profile pictures again!
Listen, if she already seen your profile picture you have the right to see hers. She has no reason to say no!
Since she already refused, its either you work out her insecurities "online" (yuck) or you drop her (which i advise). Get out of the house and meet women "live" so you'll never have to deal with these silly issues of profile pictures again!
Kingpin SkinnyPimp
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She's probably just "Curvy".
She is a bbw and she told me when I asked for her pic that she does not like the way she looks. As for the email though......I will try one more time. Not sure if I should ask for her number. Probably think I will stalk her or something.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Kingpin SkinnyPimp
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AJTD said:She is a bbw
LOL I knew it, no wonder she won't share the pic. What's up with chasing a fattie?
ezily
Senior Don Juan
yeah these dating websites don't have the most attractive girls on them. They seem to be filled with bbws. :crackup: Hey, if you have no problem with them then why do you care about getting a picture? You already know she's fat. What she's trying to do is get you to love her personality and then you 'won't care what she looks like.' :crackup:
Dude, if you don't mind her being fat then don't drop her. She's just insecure. Don't expect much from a picture. It won't make you feel better.
Dude, if you don't mind her being fat then don't drop her. She's just insecure. Don't expect much from a picture. It won't make you feel better.
MotownMack
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Don't waste your time on profiles without pictures. Period.
Most dates are not going to work out in the first place, why complicate and compound this by not having any idea if you're even physically attracted to this person.
I used to be more open-minded about this, but I can only think of one occasion where the girl w/o a pic didn't end badly-i.e. she wasn't bad, but the VAST majority don't have a picture up for a reason. Sorry if that sounds mean, but you just need to be realistic about this situation, and so does she.
I would next her now, and in the future, refuse to waste time with girls who don't have a picture, or are unwilling to provide one within the first conversation.
FYI-In a twist of irony, by dragging her feet on moving things ahead (because she is insecure), she is actually going to make you work harder than a chick with options.
Most dates are not going to work out in the first place, why complicate and compound this by not having any idea if you're even physically attracted to this person.
I used to be more open-minded about this, but I can only think of one occasion where the girl w/o a pic didn't end badly-i.e. she wasn't bad, but the VAST majority don't have a picture up for a reason. Sorry if that sounds mean, but you just need to be realistic about this situation, and so does she.
I would next her now, and in the future, refuse to waste time with girls who don't have a picture, or are unwilling to provide one within the first conversation.
FYI-In a twist of irony, by dragging her feet on moving things ahead (because she is insecure), she is actually going to make you work harder than a chick with options.
So, in real life, when she meets people, she hides her face from them until she gets to know them better?She wrote back and said that she needs to get to know me better before sending a pic.
AJTD,
I tried a dating website out last year, kind of more than an experiment than anything. It was like $15 / month, and I tried it out for one month. I felt like I had a pretty good profile, and I got some good responses from some of the "better" women on the site in my area.
Well, I got to meet 3 of the "best" ones (by best meaning the ones I was the most initally attracted to) that I had been chatting with. NONE of them were as cute as their profile pictures and all of them were really desperate and clingy. I've known one of them for a while now, and she just recently quit calling me, after I made it very clear that I am dating someone now and that I was never all that interested in her to begin with - this girl had a GREAT profile too. Real cute (her pictures, that is LOL), happy, fun - but it was all just a mask. I de-activated my account after that month.
With these online personals, you have to dig a little deeper to find the real person. In my experience, women can be VERY deceptive with these online ads. Trust me, if she's not putting her picture up, THERE IS A REASON. Do you think if she were hot, or if she were secure about the way she looked, she wouldn't put a picture up? I didn't think so.
I tried a dating website out last year, kind of more than an experiment than anything. It was like $15 / month, and I tried it out for one month. I felt like I had a pretty good profile, and I got some good responses from some of the "better" women on the site in my area.
Well, I got to meet 3 of the "best" ones (by best meaning the ones I was the most initally attracted to) that I had been chatting with. NONE of them were as cute as their profile pictures and all of them were really desperate and clingy. I've known one of them for a while now, and she just recently quit calling me, after I made it very clear that I am dating someone now and that I was never all that interested in her to begin with - this girl had a GREAT profile too. Real cute (her pictures, that is LOL), happy, fun - but it was all just a mask. I de-activated my account after that month.
With these online personals, you have to dig a little deeper to find the real person. In my experience, women can be VERY deceptive with these online ads. Trust me, if she's not putting her picture up, THERE IS A REASON. Do you think if she were hot, or if she were secure about the way she looked, she wouldn't put a picture up? I didn't think so.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Guys, you all made some really good points and I thank you for that. I'm going to next her. Now I have a question for you, I am blind, I mean that literally, it's no joke. I have Glaucoma and it was not diagnosed in time so did alot of damage to my eyes. Totally blind in the right eye and only about 2 degree visual field in the left eye. Very narrow tunnel vision. So here is my question, where can a blind man find sighted women? I'm not worried about being rejected, I have eneough confidence to get over that. Just want to know the best places to meet women. I normally do not go to clubs or bars, for one you can barely hear anyone in there due to the loud music and two, this is no joke, I may end up putting my arm around a guy instead of a woman because of my limited sight. Lol. It's cool guys you can laugh.
Thanks.
AJTD
Thanks.
AJTD
I find it amazing how people WASTE their time. Stop 100% communication with her. The time you spent sitting on your azz talking with her...could better be served meeting people in person or going to the gym.AJTD said:Ok guys I found this chick online at a personals site this week and we have been talking. She seems attracted to me. In her profile she does not have a pic, so I asked her today for a pic. She wrote back and said that she needs to get to know me better before sending a pic. I then ask her for her email in subtle way. Told her about a social group we are both interested in and I would give her the details as long as she gave me her email address. No such luck. She wrote back and said she does not need the details, that she knows where this place is. I feel like dropping her right now. What do you guys think?
Centaurion
Master Don Juan
I say go for it. Meet her at a public place with a couple of escape routes.
But on the other hand.....be careful...........
But on the other hand.....be careful...........
DonGorgon
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SHe is fat.
DonGorgon
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Online dating is where the most desperate people hide..young_gun said:AJTD,
I tried a dating website out last year, kind of more than an experiment than anything. It was like $15 / month, and I tried it out for one month. I felt like I had a pretty good profile, and I got some good responses from some of the "better" women on the site in my area.
Well, I got to meet 3 of the "best" ones (by best meaning the ones I was the most initally attracted to) that I had been chatting with. NONE of them were as cute as their profile pictures and all of them were really desperate and clingy. I've known one of them for a while now, and she just recently quit calling me, after I made it very clear that I am dating someone now and that I was never all that interested in her to begin with - this girl had a GREAT profile too. Real cute (her pictures, that is LOL), happy, fun - but it was all just a mask. I de-activated my account after that month.
With these online personals, you have to dig a little deeper to find the real person. In my experience, women can be VERY deceptive with these online ads. Trust me, if she's not putting her picture up, THERE IS A REASON. Do you think if she were hot, or if she were secure about the way she looked, she wouldn't put a picture up? I didn't think so.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
ezily
Senior Don Juan
OK so if you're blind why do you even care what she looks like? I mean it's not like you have to look at her. Sure you have to feel her but still, I think you could probably get over it because all you really need to do is use your imagination. :crackup: But still, why does it matter? And how can you read this?AJTD said:Guys, you all made some really good points and I thank you for that. I'm going to next her. Now I have a question for you, I am blind, I mean that literally, it's no joke. I have Glaucoma and it was not diagnosed in time so did alot of damage to my eyes. Totally blind in the right eye and only about 2 degree visual field in the left eye. Very narrow tunnel vision. So here is my question, where can a blind man find sighted women? I'm not worried about being rejected, I have eneough confidence to get over that. Just want to know the best places to meet women. I normally do not go to clubs or bars, for one you can barely hear anyone in there due to the loud music and two, this is no joke, I may end up putting my arm around a guy instead of a woman because of my limited sight. Lol. It's cool guys you can laugh.
Thanks.
AJTD
Hey remember in "Ray" how they showed that Ray Charles would feel a woman's wrist to ascertain if she was slender, and therefore, hot? And don't blind people feel a person's face to get an indication of what they may look like? I think they even publish Playboy in braille, don't they?
So I'd say blind people meet sighted people in all the regular places and want the same things anyone else wants.
What I wanna know is: about those little braille signs that they have on drive up ATMs at banks. Are they expecting many blind people to come driving up? And if they somehow do, how do the blind people know where the braille sign is so as to read it?
So I'd say blind people meet sighted people in all the regular places and want the same things anyone else wants.
What I wanna know is: about those little braille signs that they have on drive up ATMs at banks. Are they expecting many blind people to come driving up? And if they somehow do, how do the blind people know where the braille sign is so as to read it?
MotownMack
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^^^I am inclined to agree.
You're situation is much different, and it would have been helpful to know that in the first place, as my advice would have been somewhat different.
If you're comfortable with her as person, where obviously looks aren't going to be as much of a deal breaker for you, then I might re-consider... particularly is she is cool with your situation. I might give it a go, as long as she doesn't let her insecurity overwhelm the two of you.
In a very proverbial sense, you may actually be blessed with the greatest sight of all, since you have the ability to look beyond what so many of us cannot.
You're situation is much different, and it would have been helpful to know that in the first place, as my advice would have been somewhat different.
If you're comfortable with her as person, where obviously looks aren't going to be as much of a deal breaker for you, then I might re-consider... particularly is she is cool with your situation. I might give it a go, as long as she doesn't let her insecurity overwhelm the two of you.
In a very proverbial sense, you may actually be blessed with the greatest sight of all, since you have the ability to look beyond what so many of us cannot.
Kingpin SkinnyPimp
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I've been talking to this chic online, and she has given me her phone number and sent me numerous emails but still hasn't sent me a pic.
The first time I asked for the pic she said it's coming "soon." Then I asked again a few days later and she ignored my request. According to her she resembles J-LO.
Should I call her without even seeing a pic? Maybe she is super hot and it's some test to see if I'll chase her without it being based on looks.
(yeah right)
The first time I asked for the pic she said it's coming "soon." Then I asked again a few days later and she ignored my request. According to her she resembles J-LO.
Should I call her without even seeing a pic? Maybe she is super hot and it's some test to see if I'll chase her without it being based on looks.
(yeah right)