No Means No

[EyeBRollin]

.......until she calls you "timid."

Men, I've had this political discussion with both male and female friends. I was the most ardent supporter of the "no means no" movement (back as an AFC), until I was in the situation of that initial resistance when she says "stop" or "we can't do this" and it doesn't actually mean stop. Like so, I stopped. No means no!

In every case where I have stopped, because "no means no" I was later called "timid" or pressed about stopping. Men, what do you make of this delicate situation?

This is a topic I can only discuss on so suave, as both my male and female associates are adamantly "you're a rapist if you continue when she says no." I don't ever condone rape and never would. But no doesn't always mean no, ya know?

 

[wifehunter]

Disconnect, go make a sandwich. If she means "yes", she will chase you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I had a girl once start crying and begging me "no, please stop...please...just stop," she sobbed. So I did. I walked out of the room. She followed me, asking me if she did something wrong. We talked for a while about nothing important, went back into the bedroom, started having sex, and AGAIN she starts the same routine, crying and begging me to stop. I just gave up. I can handle being dominant, but tears and sobbing don't turn me on.

 

[Serenity]

Well, there's this extra sense I have that detects well hidden irony. When someone says one thing, but clearly (to me somehow) mean the opposite. There's the no that's just no and there's the no that sound exactly the same, but somehow I just kinda know it's the opposite.

People can say something so casually that it sounds completely sinciere, but still I would just know if it is or not. I think it's because I always without fail follow the context of the present situation, it takes focused attention to do that. With some practice it becomes a habit, I don't even notice it anymore I just understand the situation I'm in.

If say a girl came to my place, we're getting into each other and she has shown herself to ironically joke a little. If she abruptly said no it would be out of context, it's against what's obviously going on. I wouldn't stop there. If I hear no again in a clearly serious tone I'll stop and defuse the situation.

No sometimes mean no, not always. Extremely unhelpful as advice, but advice can't replace experience and practice handling unique situations. I just sort things out on the spot, I can't plan for everything that can potentially happen. This makes dates and such scary or exciting depending on how you look at it. I now find uncertainty exciting where I previously found it frightening.

So in short, what to do? Evaluate the situation, when in doubt overrule the first no. If there's a second no after ignoring the first, then respect it.

That is with regards to sex, not kissing. Never ever ask for kisses, just have the balls to go for it, if you're physically denied then there's no point continuing.

 

[Serenity]

I had a girl once start crying and begging me "no, please stop...please...just stop," she sobbed. So I did. I walked out of the room. She followed me, asking me if she did something wrong. We talked for a while about nothing important, went back into the bedroom, started having sex, and AGAIN she starts the same routine, crying and begging me to stop. I just gave up. I can handle being dominant, but tears and sobbing don't turn me on.

Yeah, this happened to me once as well. It was creepy as fvck, saying "no no no no no" over and over again. I knew she wanted it and I was horny as fvck so it didn't stop me in the moment, but I would rather not do it again.....

 

[El Payaso]

If she says no the first time, stop and start again. If she says no again, stop and start again.

If she says no again, stop and leave or kick her out.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

.......until she calls you "timid."

Men, I've had this political discussion with both male and female friends. I was the most ardent supporter of the "no means no" movement (back as an AFC), until I was in the situation of that initial resistance when she says "stop" or "we can't do this" and it doesn't actually mean stop. Like so, I stopped. No means no!

In every case where I have stopped, because "no means no" I was later called "timid" or pressed about stopping. Men, what do you make of this delicate situation?

This is a topic I can only discuss on so suave, as both my male and female associates are adamantly "you're a rapist if you continue when she says no." I don't ever condone rape and never would. But no doesn't always mean no, ya know?

Some of em will use this as a b1tch shield, so even if they would mess with you, they use it to gain some control on you.