"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

No matter what I do, I cant get over my ex...Eff!

Diaforetikos

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 28, 2009
Messages
411
Reaction score
24
Location
Northern California
As the title states, I saw my ex last night. After all this effing time, I can't just drop her. Now don't get me wrong, she isn't for me. I don't want to get back with her, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I can't stop thinking about her.

I seriously want to let her go, but no matter what I do or what I try, it doesn't work. I initiated the whole no contact thing as soon as we broke up, and I've messed around with plenty other women, and yet I'm still dealing with the thoughts in my mind. Like I said, it's not thoughts of getting back together with her. I just think about her. I wanna be done with her. I have so many other things going on in my life that you would think I'd be free of her, but I'm still thinking about her. Freaking BS. I swear.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

sinnerman

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Messages
150
Reaction score
4
i can empathize mate. i'm also at a similar stage. ive successfully done the whole no contact thing and am trying to move on however, her thoughts and memories wouldn't go. all i can say is take up some hobby, occupy your mind somewhere. that's what ive done.

all the best.
 

Tovansky

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
66
Reaction score
1
it's pretty normal even for non-AFC to feel this way mate. You have done what you should have done, but do it not for the sake of forgetting her, since your conscious mind keeps telling yourself to forget about her will deal reverse effect on you. If I keep tell you not to think about one thing, repeatedly, you will think about that particular thing instead.

so yeah, just do your stuff, for your sake. Time will heal eventually. True story.
 

st_99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 20, 2006
Messages
1,783
Reaction score
59
yeah it sucks. i think its an ego thing, like "i cant believe she isn't
trying to get back with me.." "how dare she" that kind of thing.

the last girl i was obsessed over, I wasn't really sure if it was because
she was such an interesting person, or was it just me being angry that
she can drop me like that without second thought. Most likely the latter.
Probably a little of both.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

1ncredible

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2010
Messages
54
Reaction score
0
I think this is where the 'time' thing kicks in. I've had the same before and even though you sleep with different birds, pick up new hobbies and travel the world, at some point she is still going to crop up in your mind.

Remember you'll never totally forget someone who WAS once special to you, it's just as time goes on, she'll crop up less in your mind.
 

Diaforetikos

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 28, 2009
Messages
411
Reaction score
24
Location
Northern California
Thanks guys. I thought it was just me.

Like I first wrote, I have slept with a few other women. At this point, I have given up women all together. In doing so, I learned website design and have even started my own business. I'm an artist and an avid need. I teach high school kids at my church on Wednesdays and teach special needs children on Sundays. I am gonna be teaching a christian band more about the bible. Its a discipleship program. And I gotta out with friends.

As you can see, my life isn't dull, and I don't even think about her. I don't say to myself, "forget about her." I just think about her, then continue on with my life. But there are several moments when I just can't stop thinking about her. That's when I get irritated. We broke up in April. Its like, how long does this crap take. I gather stuff to be thinking about.

I know I'm doing what I must. Thinking about her is just part of the process. I just didn't realize it was gonna take this long. The girl I dated before this one, I dated for 2 years and forgot about her in like three months. Hence my frustration.

Once again, thanks for letting me know it's not just me.
 
Top