Hey guys so I'm a freshman in college and have had no luck with girls this year. Everytime I've asked a girl out I've been completely rejected, and when I go to parties I can't, for the life of me, get a girl to dance with me. I'm just one of those guys who ends up awkwardly standing by the side, but never dances with a girl. Ive tried to ask sometimes but the girl ends up brushing me away. This has been an ongoing problem so it's not like I haven't tried and I feel like a pathetic loser for not having any success. I'm starting to examine myself and realize maybe its because there's nothing special about me. I don't have any special talents, (I can't dance, sing) I'm not an athlete or muscular, and I'm below average height(5'5"-5'6"). The only thing that's decent about me is that I'm fairly good looking (or so I've been told) but that's about it. It seems like the girls go for the dancers, or tall buff college athletes, not guys like me. I'm thinking about giving up and not trying anymore. I put myself out there, have decent conversations with girls, but nothing ever comes of it. At parties I feel especially awkward and feel like it's even harder to talk or communicate with girls, at least for me. Anyway, if anyone has any advice at this point id really appreciate it...
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
No luck with girls in college
- Thread starter Fighter95
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
It seems you are worrying too much about the rejection and not being good enough and so this insecurity and desperation is easily detected by women, which makes you unattractive to them in and of itself. You need to try and let go and just enjoy yourself, have a good time and not worry what other people think of you. When you talk to the girl, just be there and be present with her, listen and see where the conversation goes naturally. When you are so caught up in your own head of "well where is this going, should i say this next, i wonder if she is thinking this, etc." then you are fighting a losing battle. Check out this video, I'm a big fan of this guy..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHijttfvbGk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHijttfvbGk
Cerwin Vega
Master Don Juan
Ever thought of learning how to dance?
ALSO, dance classes are full of single girls. Maybe most of them are 6-7's, but you've gotta start somewhere.
ALSO, dance classes are full of single girls. Maybe most of them are 6-7's, but you've gotta start somewhere.
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2007
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^This. I don't care what style of dance you choose, but defintely learn.CerwinVegaFan said:
Last edited:
gravityeyelids
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2013
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College is VERY intimidating at first....It sounds like a big inner game problem..you need to do things to build your confidence.
A few things:
1) Read Conquer Your Campus
2) Read How to Become An Alpha Male - Great body mostly about your body language and attitude, I re-read this every few months or so when i feel like my body language has been slacking.
3) Social Proof, Social Proof, Social Proof. It's important to make a lot of [cool] friends that you can roll with, including girls. It's much more awkward when you show up at a house party and you dont know people and it can really throw your mindset off. Make a habit of meeting the guys that live in the houses that throw parties. That way you are immediately accepted and girls start to see you as a social guy everyone likes. GAME THE GUYS. I dont mean be gay. But work the guys over and become friendly with them. If the guys respect you, then the girls will follow.
4) Friend Zone - It's okay to get in the friend zone with hot girls. in fact, it's a very good idea. Find a group of girls that you don't try to get with, and hang out with them as much as possible. It will take them off the pedestal and you will hang out in their room and once they're comfortable with you around you'll see them without makeup, farting, saying stupid things to each other, smelling bad, eating junk food, acting self-conscious, and it will GREATLY help to see them as not super hot godessess but actual people. Now obviously dont become an orbiter and hold out hope that you will hookup with them, Because you WONT. BUT if they see you as cool and you start to become a guy that they look up to, they will probably make it easy to hook up with their attractive friends.
5) Baby steps - you will become frustrated very easily if you try to do too much too fast. Take small steps...work on your body language, then work on being social, then work on becoming social with girls, then work on kino, then work on being a good conversationalist, then work on pulling numbers...progress to getting makeouts, setting up day 2's, going for the lay, etc.. Focus on one thing each time you go out and critique yourself on it. Dont focus on getting laid. That is not the end goal. The end goal is bettering your game and yourself to the point where getting laid or progressing towards the lay is not a big deal.
as for the dance floor...it's kind of a trap unless you're very comfortable and your body language, clothing, body is looking good. Unless its a SUPER loud party where you cant even hear yourself talk, you might be better off talking to girls in the kitchen or whatever and just grabbing their hand and leading them to the dance floor.
A few things:
1) Read Conquer Your Campus
2) Read How to Become An Alpha Male - Great body mostly about your body language and attitude, I re-read this every few months or so when i feel like my body language has been slacking.
3) Social Proof, Social Proof, Social Proof. It's important to make a lot of [cool] friends that you can roll with, including girls. It's much more awkward when you show up at a house party and you dont know people and it can really throw your mindset off. Make a habit of meeting the guys that live in the houses that throw parties. That way you are immediately accepted and girls start to see you as a social guy everyone likes. GAME THE GUYS. I dont mean be gay. But work the guys over and become friendly with them. If the guys respect you, then the girls will follow.
4) Friend Zone - It's okay to get in the friend zone with hot girls. in fact, it's a very good idea. Find a group of girls that you don't try to get with, and hang out with them as much as possible. It will take them off the pedestal and you will hang out in their room and once they're comfortable with you around you'll see them without makeup, farting, saying stupid things to each other, smelling bad, eating junk food, acting self-conscious, and it will GREATLY help to see them as not super hot godessess but actual people. Now obviously dont become an orbiter and hold out hope that you will hookup with them, Because you WONT. BUT if they see you as cool and you start to become a guy that they look up to, they will probably make it easy to hook up with their attractive friends.
5) Baby steps - you will become frustrated very easily if you try to do too much too fast. Take small steps...work on your body language, then work on being social, then work on becoming social with girls, then work on kino, then work on being a good conversationalist, then work on pulling numbers...progress to getting makeouts, setting up day 2's, going for the lay, etc.. Focus on one thing each time you go out and critique yourself on it. Dont focus on getting laid. That is not the end goal. The end goal is bettering your game and yourself to the point where getting laid or progressing towards the lay is not a big deal.
as for the dance floor...it's kind of a trap unless you're very comfortable and your body language, clothing, body is looking good. Unless its a SUPER loud party where you cant even hear yourself talk, you might be better off talking to girls in the kitchen or whatever and just grabbing their hand and leading them to the dance floor.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.