No kiss close on first date good or bad?

[ZhaoYun]

It's cool man. I think with this girl I'll just have to put in a little work. She's definitely not the type I've been hooking up with recently (making out on first meeting/lay on next) so I'll probably give her 3 max while getting a bit more flirty on the second so she knows what's up.

She turns 21 tomorrow so I'm planning on calling her up to wish her a happy birthday and let that lead into the next date which will involve me taking her out for a drink. We'll see how things go.

 

[ZhaoYun]

Just in case if anyone was wondering, I called her up today just to wish a happy birthday. Got her a little $6 dollar stuffed animal (the lady put it in a nice bag for me too for free) just as a small gift just to be thoughtful. She let me come into her dorm room where we hugged again and talked briefly about stuff. Somehow the topic of exclusivity came up and she said where guys are concerned she just likes to take things "chill". I agreed saying I'm the same way with women and I have too much on my plate to be dealing with a relationship.

Of course I added a twist with just trying to get to know her better and whatever happens happens. I'm sure she knew what I meant by it since she had this big ass smile on her face.

Told her we'd have to get a drink next week and she jokingly replied with "as long as you don't take advantage of me."

This is exactly what I wanted. Pretty sure if I keep taking things smooth and don't rush anything I may have a new member on my team! Will keep posted.

 

[Dole]

Good read.

 

[horaholic]

Told her we'd have to get a drink next week and she jokingly replied with "as long as you don't take advantage of me."

That is a good sign. It means she has something on her mind!

 

[ZhaoYun]

Update

So we have Spring break coming up. I didn't get a chance to go on a second date with this one girl this week because she's going out of the country on a school sponsored study abroad trip. Claimed she was swamped getting ready for that and had to prepare for a few tests she had this week. No biggie. I texted her pretty much saying we should get together when she gets back. No surprise, I didn't get a reply.

So I chat with her a few after class today. She says how she's excited about the study abroad thing, blah blah. ..

We hugged and I told her to have a safe flight and we should get that drink when she gets back. She replied,

"I'll think about it. (laugh) I'm just playin."

Now I'll keep gaming this girl until she just flat out says no, but I can tell her interest isn't as high as I'd like it to be. I know she wants to be chased a bit and I'll keep on doing it. Nothing to lose. In the meantime I guess it's good that I'll be going to another state and hooking up with two other women.

Should I text her to see if her flight went ok or is that unnecessary?

 

[WhtRbt]

Should I text her to see if her flight went ok or is that unnecessary?

I wouldn't. I wouldn't waste any more time with this girl.

 

[ZhaoYun]

You may be right on this one WhtRbt. I'm pretty sure she already has a fvck buddy which means I'm just giving her a boost by attempting to chase her. (Even though I'm doing a half ass job of chasing)

I just wanted her to be on my team and it's really hard to get motivated chasing new tail when I already have reserves. Maybe I should just let this go.

 

[WhtRbt]

See I think what happened was that you wanted this girl too badly. You care too much. This is something I've learned. It seems like the more I care about getting the girl, the less it works out. As soon as you WANT her, you're toast.

I just had a situation like this. I met a girl that I thought was great. I saw red flags but told myself that ahhhh... I'll just use this as practice for my dj skills. Or I'll use some dj skills to get this girl. I'll even make a post and ask for advice for how to win this girl.

I wanted her. And that's probably why it didn't work out. Actually I think it wouldn't have worked out either way. But because I wanted her, instead of facing the facts (red flags) and forgetting her, I tried to WIN her. Attraction isn't a choice. You can't negotiate interest. YOU CAN'T WIN A GIRL OVER. She's gotta like you from the start.

You even went out and got this girl a stuffed animal for cryin out loud! After what 2 dates?

Oh well just letting out some thoughts.

I just wanted her to be on my team and it's really hard to get motivated chasing new tail when I already have reserves. Maybe I should just let this go.

I just chat up every lovely lady that I can whether I already have girls or not. It's becoming a habit. You can never have too many phone numbers.