No drive at all

[intraining]

Im losing it and not sure how much more i can take of this.When people all around you are enjoying life and you seem to be stuck in a rut it hurts.I have friends but am the only one that is single or is not trying to pursue a woman.I dont want to blame it on someone but my first gf ever which was 7 months ago left me.We were together for a short time but i was left behind and she went back to her ex.I felt ****ty for so long after that and really wondered what i did wrong.I did get her out of my head but i got curious for some damn reason and looked at her facebook.Pictures of her shot sharp pains in my heart especially seeing her with her ex.

Two of my really good friends have changed dramatically since high school.One was confident all along but skinny.Since high school he has hit the gym and is so much bigger now.Im exactly the same as i wise when i got out(skinny).I like the idea of getting bigger and feeling better about myself but do not have the drive.I feel that no matter what i will still be ugly and lack the confidence to start over again.My other friend went through a breakup which was his first gf ever.He was a big guy but from all the stress he slimmed down and now has girls giving him a second thought.Hes also dating a girl that is really cute and looks way better than his ex.He is working out now and jogging everyday.Both of these people are enjoying life

Being dumped for the first time ever and to the 2 other girls that have used me as a rebound has left me drained.I can truly say that ive never been really happy with the way life was going.I can tell myself that i will turn things around but i do not have the drive to do it.I care yet i dont care if that makes any sense.I find myself not wanting to hang out anymore because im always the fifth wheel.I would like to get back into dating since im still at the beginning stages and a late bloomer(24) but things like this take a toll on me.Sometimes i feel like i dont want to live anymore

 

[intraining]

i did not mean to put that stupid smiley face on this thread

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

You have two choices.

1. To start taking this sh1t seriously.
Hit the field hard and get this part of your life handled.
All you need is say to your self " THATS IT. IM GOING TO BECOME GREAT NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES " and take action on that.

and

2. Take a break.
Stop thinking about women and start enjoying life. Start working out , join some sports , some clubs , go to dancing class and sh1t. Study. Spend time working on yourself , making yourself a sexworthy guy. Not for women but for yourself. A man that doesnt feel good about himself its not a MAN.

So you either take the first or second option. If you have a lot of money i would recommand you to take a RSD bootcamp too. It might help you alot.

Tell me which one do you prefer and ill tell you where to start.

 

[Mr. Bond]

You can't expect things to just fall in your lap. You want a hot woman? Or far more importantly, do you want to feel good about yourself? GET MOVING. I suggest you take a break as DTP says - the man knows what he's talking about. Forget about women for awhile. Stop chasing them and quit trying to get in their pants. Improve yourself. You'll get over your ex, you'll stop caring about "needing a woman", and you'll be much happier.

I've been there too, man. Sometimes you just need something to snap inside you. You'll need to decide that you deserve better than your ex. That you deserve to feel better about yourself. That you deserve a better life. I can't bring you to this point - only you can do it yourself. So get out there and TAKE ACTION.

 

[intraining]

I cant stop now

1st girl i ever dated was in 2003 and after one date nothing happened

2nd girl was in 2007 and though she said she liked me it was all a front to get back at her ex who was cheating on her.I felt real good then cuz nobody had liked me just for me but after calling her out on her bull**** she stopped dating me.

3rd girl was in 2008 and she ended up being my gf in november.The whole time i was with her the ex would txt her and try to call.It got really bad and she ended it with me just a few days before xmas.She gave me my first kiss and i realized how much i liked making out.She to started things with me because she liked many things about me.We had many great moments and i loved the attention and everything that we did but im convinced that it was just a rebound.

So ive been used twice and it is taking a toll on me but i do need to move on.I put my guard down and allowed someone in for the first time.Never again will i fall for some bs and i will look for the warning signs.I take such long breaks because when **** goes down it takes a heavy toll on my heart.

Ive never really had much confidence but the girl in 07 really built it for me then it crumbled down.Then my first gf built it up then it crumbled down again.Not once did i just feel that hey i have things going for me and that im a great catch.Its been 8 months and i think its about time for me to start again but after whats happened to me in the past im not sure i can

 

[Demon Wolf]

PUSH!

If you are feeling bad you have to keep going. Like Mr. Bond said things do not fall into your lap. You have to try for them and it is hard when you do not get them. Just keep pushing towards your goals.

Do not ever let a bad experience let you fall into a depression. Depression sucks, I have had recurring problems with it for years. You have to push yourself out of the negative feelings.

 

[zekko]

I don't know what it is, but when I was 24 I was having trouble getting women also. You'd think that would be the prime age, but it can be a transitional time in a lot of men's lives. I know I wasn't as mature as I could have been at that age, and that can cause problems with women. Seems like it got easier later. You're still young yet so you have plenty of time to figure things out and find someone.

I know it can be hard to keep a positive attitude when you've had some bad things happen to you. But you have to view these as learning experiences, see what mistakes you have made and vow not to repeat them. And sometimes it just isn't your fault.

As for getting in shape, you said yourself it worked for your friend so there's no reason why it shouldn't work for you too. But it's not a cure all in and of itself. You have to try to stay positive and working on a good attitude, because that will attract women, being negative will not. You have to keep picking yourself up off the floor. Setting some reachable goals should help you find some of that drive.

 

[Heartagram]

OK, first of all, never, ever do anything to please girls. Whatever you do, do it for yourself. Believe it or not, I actually know several girls who quite openly said that they don't like muscular guys (one of them being my ex, and I'm skinny). I also have an incredibly skinny friend who gets a lot of girls. He jumps from one girlfriend to another.

It doesn't matter what your friends have done. What matters is what you want. Girls are as diverse as guys. If you're not yourself, you're likely to end up with a girl you're not compatible with. Plus, wanting to do something just to please girls is a sign of weakness and lack of confidence--and that's the real problem. So build confidence. Figure yourself out. Figure out what you want. And embrace your singlehood. The biggest mistake guys make is forget that they can enjoy life without girls. You're a whole; you don't need a girl to complete you. And when you're confident, girls are way more likely to be attracted to you.

You keep crumbling down probably because your life is built on girls, like you believe that having a girl is what constitutes having a life. Go out and have fun.

Forget about your ex. There are billions of girls on earth, and you're compatible with millions of them. So forget about her. It's hard, but you can do it. And figuring yourself out and building self-respect would only make it so much easier. At the end, you'd just be like, fvck her, I have too much self-respect for her to control my life.

 

[zekko]

There are advantages to being the single guy, so I agree you should try to embrace it. Some of the fun is in the pursuing and the anticipation, after all. You can try out all these DJ techniques, have fun, and experiment.

If you meet "the one" at 24, that means you might be spending the next 50 years with her. You might see an awful lot of girls during that time that you wish you could hit on. Look at it this way, right now you have freedom, try to enjoy that. Your life is endless possibilities, every woman you meet is a potential adventure. I know that losing a relationship can hurt, but you can look at the glass as half full or half empty.

As for working out:
I've heard some girls say they like skinny guys, usually because they don't find them intimidating, or because they've known muscle bound gym rats who were too full of themselves. But the OP said he liked the idea of getting bigger, and it could give him some extra confidence and testosterone, so I say why not give it a try at least, he might like it.

 

[Heartagram]

But the OP said he liked the idea of getting bigger, and it could give him some extra confidence and testosterone, so I say why not give it a try at least, he might like it.

Yeh, of course, I agree.

But he mentioned his friends, so it seems that he's jealous,; and that he thinks he's ugly, so it could be that he thinks being built up would make him better looking.

Those are wrong reasons to do something.

Even if he does think he's ugly, he should try to improve himself for himself, not to impress other girls. But many people think they're ugly even though they're not--it's just a matter of self-confidence.

Basically, all I'm saying is that he should make sure he wants to do it for himself, not out of pressure.

 

[intraining]

When i get rejected or played i feel as if it was a joke and they were just looking for someone to use.It also makes me feel like they never were attracted to me in the first place.Things like that make me feel as if i was not good enough and that i should just give up.Recently ive just been staying home and for some reason im thinking of her.

My first girlfriend ever who told me how much she liked me and how i had no flaws and if any did arise she would be fine with it.Telling me how she can forsee us being together for a long time.It was all bull**** and the shield i built up from all those other girls before was let down because i thought this was going to be different.I miss the passionate kissing so much and the texts that would get me through a tough day at my dealership.This is so much bull**** i cant believe i got ****ed over again.I dont know when ill try again or trust someone again.

 

[intraining]

I feel as if i am at the bottom of the barrel within a group of friends actually im pretty sure i am.It sucks that i think like this but this is how ive been since day one of ever liking a girl who then crushed me.

 

[Igetit!]

I feel as if i am at the bottom of the barrel within a group of friends actually im pretty sure i am.It sucks that i think like this but this is how ive been since day one of ever liking a girl who then crushed me.

You need to stand up and be a man.

I understand having feelings for a girl,then if she decides to end the relationship,you'll feel angry and hurt. I've been there,but crushed?

No woman should ever mean that much to you to the point of being able to "crush" you.

This is your life dude. You're not a passenger,you're in the driver's seat.

No woman can take you anywhere without you yielding over to her permission to do so.

The way you talk,it's like you're just out there in the world being bounced around from girl to girl getting hurt,and you have no control over everything.

Like you're a pinball getting batted around from girl to girl.

There's something you need to alter about your approach to dating.

I don't know what it is because there's not enough info here to determine that,but something needs to change. All I know is that in every situation you just described,YOU were there.

You said you went out with this girl,and this happened,that girl,and that happened.

This girl used me,that girl hurt me,another one took advantage of me,etc,etc.

The only constant,the only common denominator I saw in each and every interaction was YOU.

Each and every time,YOU were there.

If no matter where you go the same problems seem to keep creeping up,it's because YOU keep taking them with you.

If I were you,I'd check myself. If you think I'm wrong and you disagree,check yourself anyway.

This way,at least you'll have yourself ruled out as the problem.

Examine yourself dude.

Trust me,the last thing you want to do is go the next 5 years with problem after problem,pain after pain,girl after girl,only to find out that is was something you were doing that was easily correctable.

 

[Cure]

May I recommend you take up a martial art? Somthing good with full contact training, try some out till you find one that takes the self defence aspect seriously (a lot just line you up and have you kicking and punching thin air for an hour a week, in my experiance)

It might not be somthing you've considered before but martial arts would give you the self defence skills, a massive ammount of confidence, better al round strength and athletecism, and also its great fun, much easier to look forward to than a gym or a bike ride.

good luck sorting your life out mate, just go for it, you only live one!

 

[intraining]

Im not sure what i could be doing wrong cuz i dont see myself being overly nice or a push over.At one time i was a push over but one of the reaons why my ex liked me is because i stood up for what i wanted

 

[Accension]

This isn't exactly what you want to hear but heck you need to have this meal force fed and raw.

Dude.
Grow the fu(k up, you're 24 and just sounded like a highschooler.
What's all this whiny rubbish where by your entire emotional well being is tied to women.

This is bad.
Your kind puts disgusting stuff in their MSN names.
Which falls under one "I'm so in love." or two "I'm so depressed because of love." and I'm now empowering you to be one of us that realises how very wrong that is.

I think that your happiness is tied to one and two which shows you have a lot to learn about the nature of things.

I can also see yourself making excuses why 'I couldn't possibly be like them. (They have/don't have X and I have/don't have Y, I.E. EXCUSES.)

Oh boy, I don't know who to blame for your mindset; infact best not to blame anyone but sir I recommend you learn how to torrent and then you pirate RSD's Audio CDs 'The Blue Print Decoded', it'll give you a much needed system reboot.

You'll also find that after pirating that product you get SO much out of it that you'll probably end up buying it out of sheer respect, I don't endorse pirating but what better way to try a product before you buy.

You know what got to me the most in your post 'Sometimes i feel like i dont want to live anymore' that's just wrong on so many levels.
I'd reprogram you myself but Tyler is just as good my poorly assembled friend.

 

[intraining]

 

[trent81]

Do you want to know what you are doing wrong? You were and still are a rebound guy. You go for girls who have feelings still for other men. I have the same problem. Welcome to the club. Why she left you for her ex? Because she never left her ex. You were an emotional tampon for a while. This should make yo angry enought to move on and find someone else.

 

[trent81]

Do you want to know (looking back) how many times I was the rebound guy? I had great sex, but nothing more. I wrote this down the other day. I was the rebound guy (in the last 12 years) over 17 times. And I wonder why I don't have a girlfriend and why I get laid all the time. We have to fix this brother, we have to stop being the rebound guy. Soon as you find out about an ex she has feelings for, get the fuvk out. I too was depressed, stressed, and just hated life. But now I realize, the only thing that was my fault, was that I was not a good screener. I was the dude that got applications and didn't screen them for the type of person I wanted. Obviously these *****evs love me, but they love me because I am easy to lay, I don't get turned off by their ex' but guess what bitvch? Now I do. NOW I WANT MY OWN GIRL. That's how you should feel. Time to hire the right girl for the job.