No counter offer = No interest?

[tsmith2334]

You ask a woman to hang out, point blank. Movies, dinner, whatever it is.

Regardless of how interested they are, there is a 50/50 chance they will say "No" due to prior arrangements or their schedule.

My question... if they tell you they can't, but don't make a counter offer (i.e. "How about Friday?") are they not interested?

Can you use this test to guage interest, or are you the one expected to follow-up? Is it universally expected they will come up with another time, or does it differ by woman and situation?

 

[MacAvoy]

Simply ask when a better time would be. If she flakes, hims and haws, then act like someone is calling you and say hey I gotta go. Then next.

 

[tsmith2334]

Simply ask when a better time would be. If she flakes, hims and haws, then act like someone is calling you and say hey I gotta go. Then next.

I agree, that's what would I do too. I'm just wondering if they should be the ones taking the initiave to do it.

 

[zack77766]

tell me does AD's machine really work? Im considering the machine...

 

[Obsidian]

I've been trying A-D's Machine for about one semester and I feel like it's helped me a lot, but I haven't yet gotten an LTR out of it (Before, I was still kind of a n00b approaching, #-closing, and calling, tho, and I've gotten a good deal of experience with each of those so far). Of course, the point of the Machine is that even if you don't get an LTR, you're still better off single than dealing with low-quality women.

In answer to the original question, I don't think a woman will necessarily counter with an alternative date. Even if you call up your best friend and ask him to go out with you, if he's busy, chances are he might just tell you he's busy rather than suggest an alternate time.

If she does suggest an alternative time, she is (probably) quite interested. But she could also be interested or even quite interested and not suggest.

Also, I think she is less likely to suggest an alternative time if you call her up at the last minute -- which is somewhat socially inept. For example, it would be last minute to call her Friday night or Saturday with the intention of meeting up Saturday night. Even though it's inept, I'll still do it sometimes regardless, but only when it's a chick I'm not real interested in or if I'm just bored and don't really care what her response is. Or you might do it if you've already slept with her numerous times and you've gotten into a very casual relationship already.

On the other hand, I'm not really an expert on these matters...yet.

 

[tsmith2334]

Thanks for the feedback Obsidian. Sounds pretty accurate.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Can you use this test to guage interest, or are you the one expected to follow-up? Is it universally expected they will come up with another time, or does it differ by woman and situation?

Best to ask if they have at least a couple of times available so you let them know which fits best into your schedule.

 

[LostAndConfused]

If she says no, say this: "Well tell me a day that works, I'll see if it works with me"

I think if you hear hesitation, not just the "let me think about my schedule" but the "uhhh....well....maybe in two weeks" sort of deal, then she's not interested.

 

[Mr. Me]

You ask a woman to hang out, point blank. Movies, dinner, whatever it is.

Regardless of how interested they are, there is a 50/50 chance they will say "No" due to prior arrangements or their schedule.

Your premise is not quite right. If they're interested, there's a 100% chance that even if they have a crazy schedule, they're going to try and fit you in - IF they're interested. And that's what you want to figure out. But you have to set this up correctly:

When you ask a woman out, don't ask a few days ahead of time. You want to ask her about a week ahead because then the chances are less that she actually has something already planned or her schedule doesn't permit it, in which case, she's free to go out with you.

You want to gauge if she's really interested in you or not, so you can't muddle it up by starting off with asking for a date just a few days away that she's more likely to already have made plans for.

So, say you call her a week ahead or so and ask for a definite date and time. For example, you call Wednesday for the next Tuesday. If THEN she says, "Oh I'm gonna be busy", "I have tests", "I don't know what my schedule is for then", "My sister's coming in from traveling in Europe and I haven't seen her in ten years", then she's not interested. She's blowing you off. As opposed to three days away, lt's less likely that she actually has plans made already for a whole week away. Asking for a week away also makes you look like the busy, popular guy with a life.

But if after she says she's busy, in the next breath she counter offers with another definite time, i.e. she says, "Next Tuesday's not good... but Wednesday is!", then you're still in the running. She genuinely is busy, but she wants to see you. Like I said, she'll try to fit you in.

I also go with the practice that you don't ask them out for a Friday or Saturday night for a while so that 1. They start thinking you're a popular guy and not some lonely loser without plans for the weekend 2. They wonder why you only call to see them for a weekday night and 3. They'll ask YOU eventually, if they're interested, to take them out on a weekend night. You're making them chase you.

Don't you ask for another better time, nor offer one. You have to see if she does. That's the only way you can tell if she's interested or just blowing smoke.

 

[nismo-4]

Your premise is not quite right. If they're interested, there's a 100% chance that even if they have a crazy schedule, they're going to try and fit you in - IF they're interested. And that's what you want to figure out. But you have to set this up correctly:

When you ask a woman out, don't ask a few days ahead of time. You want to ask her about a week ahead because then the chances are less that she actually has something already planned or her schedule doesn't permit it, in which case, she's free to go out with you.

You want to gauge if she's really interested in you or not, so you can't muddle it up by starting off with asking for a date just a few days away that she's more likely to already have made plans for.

So, say you call her a week ahead or so and ask for a definite date and time. For example, you call Wednesday for the next Tuesday. If THEN she says, "Oh I'm gonna be busy", "I have tests", "I don't know what my schedule is for then", "My sister's coming in from traveling in Europe and I haven't seen her in ten years", then she's not interested. She's blowing you off. As opposed to three days away, lt's less likely that she actually has plans made already for a whole week away. Asking for a week away also makes you look like the busy, popular guy with a life.

But if after she says she's busy, in the next breath she counter offers with another definite time, i.e. she says, "Next Tuesday's not good... but Wednesday is!", then you're still in the running. She genuinely is busy, but she wants to see you. Like I said, she'll try to fit you in.

I also go with the practice that you don't ask them out for a Friday or Saturday night for a while so that 1. They start thinking you're a popular guy and not some lonely loser without plans for the weekend 2. They wonder why you only call to see them for a weekday night and 3. They'll ask YOU eventually, if they're interested, to take them out on a weekend night. You're making them chase you.

Don't you ask for another better time, nor offer one. You have to see if she does. That's the only way you can tell if she's interested or just blowing smoke.

The last sentence basically says you'll be giving the woman the power.

Don't forget, there's a 50/50 chance of the girl saying yes. Sometimes you'll get lucky (or so you may think) only to have her flake. IOI's aren't always accurate.

As for the second to last paragraph, I need to start doing that sh*t.

BTW? What are some ways that you ask a woman for a date?

 

[MooseGod]

You've got this whole thing framed wrong. You don't ASK a woman for a date. If you like her, you make a move. You wouldn't timidly ask your friends if they want to go to the bar and get drunk, would you?

Hell no! You'd tell them "Hey guys, we're all bored as sh!t and there's nothing going on tonight...let's go get wasted!"

Girls are no different...they just look and smell a helluva lot better. Same concept.

And as far as giving the woman power, you're not giving her anything but an opportunity she can choose to take or not. She already has the power--that is, the power to choose who she associates with. If she doesn't like you, find one that does.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You've got this whole thing framed wrong. You don't ASK a woman for a date. If you like her, you make a move. You wouldn't timidly ask your friends if they want to go to the bar and get drunk, would you?...

What???!!! You mean actually go after something if you want it? You mean be a man???!!! That's scary, that means you'd have to put yourself out there and possibly be rejected!!! :nervous:

 

[Outsider]

Dude, none of the stuff on here is absolute, if a girl doesn't make a counter offer, no it doesn't mean she's not interested, but if she does that's a pretty good sign. Stop thinking, relax, have option, and have fun; **** they're women not quantum physics.