No contact works! but I don't want to give her a 2nd chance.

[alpha_ash]

I met this girl in September. First date went very well, 2nd one was a movie (I know, it was stupid of me, but I never setup "movie dates" with girls), and 3rd was a visit to a haunted attraction.

I didn't initiate anything sexual at any date. I actually liked her. I wasn't being AFC because I was always confident in what I did, teased her, made fun of her, and joked around playfully.

After the 2nd date, she started flaking a lot, and would make it really difficult to make plans. She stated that she can't make plans and does things based on her mood on that day. This was a red flag but I played through it anyway.

She came out and told me that she was up till 8 am with another guy talking. At this point, I'm thinking, "oh gay friend." Then a week later, she was upset because "last night" the other guy was mean. So I asked directly, what's your relationship with this guy? She said they were "rather a couple but taking it slow." The night before I asked her indirectly when the last time was she was in a relationship because of what had happened at the haunted attraction. She said "a month ago," which was around the time we met, so she had been lying to me regularly.

Now being a student/amateur DJ that I am, I played along and laughed as if nothing happened. My act was pretty impressive because inside I wanted to smack her and walk away. Anyway, I laughed, joked around a bit, and then pretty much said bye.

After exactly two weeks of no contact, she sends me a text, "We have to hang out soon!" Now I know I should just ignore, but I want to **** around and have some fun Any ideas?

Looks like I was friendzoned, or put on the back burner.

What I want to do is use this chick who wants to be "friends" to get other girls! How should I proceed?

 

[st_99]

are u a glutton for punishment? sure sounds like it.

 

[alpha_ash]

are u a glutton for punishment? sure sounds like it.

Haha, I'm totally out of it. No psychological/emotional investment.

I want to have some fun now. If this ***** wants to hang out, I want to make full use of it and try to get another girl or at least something out of it. I put too much in it initially to let this go now. Lets have some fun. Or at the very least, I could experiment, try something i have never before.

 

[JohnChops]

If you didnt initiate anything sexual at least by the second date thats your fault shes ignoring you. She thinks your not into her therefore is moving on. You had the opposite effect here. I dont get it? She was into you.. how do i know? she agreed to THREE dates with you. Oh my god, seriously its not the women that fvck up its the guy. YOU. Messed. Up. Here.

How to fix it? Go out, initiate something sexual, a kiss, sex, etc because if you go out with her again and dont your going to get friendzoned. Try to salvage her.

I cant believe people dont understand that being sexual attracts women, no contact is how to get over them, and being a mystery is how you keep them.

In your case you did the opposite of all that lol. Your using no contact to attract (wrong) , your not being sexual to attract (Wrong again! ) and I cant speculate if your still a mystery to her still but since she contacted you again, ill asume you somewhat are. (yay you did something right! ) Okay I told you what to do now go do it please



EDIT- HOLD ON, lol i just read the whole thing and forgot the part about her having a boyfriend. Forget everything I said, drop her, dont even bother with her. The end. Above advice is pretty decent so ill leave it :}

 

[alpha_ash]

If you didnt initiate anything sexual at least by the second date thats your fault shes ignoring you. She thinks your not into her therefore is moving on. You had the opposite effect here. I dont get it? She was into you.. how do i know? she agreed to THREE dates with you. Oh my god, seriously its not the women that fvck up its the guy. YOU. Messed. Up. Here.

How to fix it? Go out, initiate something sexual, a kiss, sex, etc because if you go out with her again and dont your going to get friendzoned. Try to salvage her.

I cant believe people dont understand that being sexual attracts women, no contact is how to get over them, and being a mystery is how you keep them.

In your case you did the opposite of all that lol. Your using no contact to attract (wrong) , your not being sexual to attract (Wrong again! ) and I cant speculate if your still a mystery to her still but since she contacted you again, ill asume you somewhat are. (yay you did something right! ) Okay I told you what to do now go do it please



EDIT- HOLD ON, lol i just read the whole thing and forgot the part about her having a boyfriend. Forget everything I said, drop her, dont even bother with her. The end. Above advice is pretty decent so ill leave it :}

hahaha okay, i feel dumb. She was giving me all the right signals throughout. There's no way I can "friendzone" her and make use of her?

 

[JohnChops]

hahaha okay, i feel dumb. She was giving me all the right signals throughout. There's no way I can "friendzone" her and make use of her?

Use her as in? to meet other girls.....? To friendzone a girl its easy. Do nothing sexual with her, play with her, treat her like a guy friend. There is no benefit to this unless shes part of a huge social circle or throws parties regularly. I think I have 1 girl - friend lol all the others i dont care about, that I use her to talk, hangout , and she throws parties to introduce her to her friends. ITs a real toss up though. And yes she was throwing signals wana know the first? She went on a date with you . hehe couldve made a move to see what her real intentions were. If she backed away then you wouldve known not to ask her on a second date so quickly because if she doesnt feel sexual towards you then attraction = 0, do not pass go, do not collect vagina.

 

[alpha_ash]

Use her as in? to meet other girls.....? To friendzone a girl its easy. Do nothing sexual with her, play with her, treat her like a guy friend. There is no benefit to this unless shes part of a huge social circle or throws parties regularly. I think I have 1 girl - friend lol all the others i dont care about, that I use her to talk, hangout , and she throws parties to introduce her to her friends. ITs a real toss up though.

Yeah exactly, I was thinking if I was rolling in with a chic to a club already, i'd be getting more attention/looks from other girls and would make it easier.

also, i want to mention that I never have trouble in a club Girls buy drinks for me and come up to me to dance! I have to do nothing lol.

 

[JohnChops]

Yeah exactly, I was thinking if I was rolling in with a chic to a club already, i'd be getting more attention/looks from other girls and would make it easier.

also, i want to mention that I never have trouble in a club Girls buy drinks for me and come up to me to dance! I have to do nothing lol.

thats a good sign then, so it seems you've come to the conclusion of you not needing this girl for anything. Just ignore her, if she texts you, just have a friendly convo. At this point might as well keep her as an acquaintance. Nothing more.

But if you're bored on a saturday night and dont feel like clubbing alone... hit her up . No hurt in that. Just adds to the fun factor. She'll pull hotter girls in and you'll have a great time. I see no harm.

 

[alpha_ash]

thats a good sign then, so it seems you've come to the conclusion of you not needing this girl for anything. Just ignore her, if she texts you, just have a friendly convo. At this point might as well keep her as an acquaintance. Nothing more.

But if you're bored on a saturday night and dont feel like clubbing alone... hit her up . No hurt in that. Just adds to the fun factor. She'll pull hotter girls in and you'll have a great time. I see no harm.

So here's how the conversation went:

Her: We have to hang out soon!
Me: First of all, you can't tell me what I HAVE to do regardless of how well you know me! (Tease her about what she said about "should" before) I am (girl's name) and I overreact sometimes. what did you have in mind?
Her: Hah, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. Frozen yogurt, museum, movies? hobbit is about to come out.
Me: Wow I can't do all of those at once! lets start with frozen yogurt wednesday after you get off, 8:30.
Her: haha great, though wednesday is my longest day, what about thursday? I get off around 7
Me: Thursday at 7:30 then. Same place.
Her: Alright see you then!

I didn't respond after that. Victory? How should I define the frame on Thursday night?

 

[Igetit!]

I met this girl in September. First date went very well, 2nd one was a movie (I know, it was stupid of me, but I never setup "movie dates" with girls), and 3rd was a visit to a haunted attraction.

I didn't initiate anything sexual at any date.

You see the part I enlarged and enboldened?


THAT'S what friendzoned you. This chick didn't friendzone you,you friendzoned YOURSELF.

You had 3 DATES with this chick and did NOTHING SEXUAL on none of them? I can let the first date go,but the second and especially the third,it's no wonder she lost interest.


A woman WANTS TO FEEL wanted,desired by a man,attractive,she wants CHEMISTRY. And she gave you more than ample opportunity to do something.


I think her patience just ran out. After 3 dates,she was probably like,"Tsssk,fvck it".

I actually liked her. I wasn't being AFC because I was always confident in what I did, teased her, made fun of her, and joked around playfully.

Yeah...you did ALL THAT,but when it came to "crunchtime" you didn't pull the trigger. Obviously the chick was attracted to you,otherwise you never would have made it to the third date.


All the teasing,playing,and joking around don't mean sh1t if it doesn't lead to anything sexual. And while you were teasing and joking around,she decided to go find herself a man who wants to get down and dirty IN THE BEDROOM.

After the 2nd date, she started flaking a lot, and would make it really difficult to make plans.

Well can you blame her? After the first two dates,she probably had a pretty good indication of what the next date would be like.....void of any sexuality.....and she was RIGHT.

She came out and told me that she was up till 8 am with another guy talking. At this point, I'm thinking, "oh gay friend." Then a week later, she was upset because "last night" the other guy was mean. So I asked directly, what's your relationship with this guy? She said they were "rather a couple but taking it slow." The night before I asked her indirectly when the last time was she was in a relationship because of what had happened at the haunted attraction. She said "a month ago," which was around the time we met, so she had been lying to me regularly.

Kinda seems like she was trying to see which out of you and this other guy would she be most interested in,and you won......up until the 3 nonsexual dates. This chick actually has more patience than a lot of women cause most would have just wrote you off after the first nonsexual date. She at least went 2 before started flaking,then even a third after that.

After exactly two weeks of no contact, she sends me a text, "We have to hang out soon!"

Hmm. Just sounds like she misses her "hangout buddy".

Now I know I should just ignore, but I want to **** around and have some fun Any ideas?

The only idea I can think of is for you to GROW UP,and learn from YOUR mistakes here so you won't repeat them again in the future.

You wanna screw around with this girl when she did NOTHING WRONG?


It's not her fault you got friendzoned,she gave you THREE DATES to do something/make a move,and YOU didn't do it.

What I want to do is use this chick who wants to be "friends" to get other girls! How should I proceed?

Look man...you have skill. You obviously know how to pick up chicks,I mean...you got this chick to go out with you 3 times. You don't need her to get other girls,just do whatever it was you did to get this chick with other girls,ONLY THIS TIME....after you get the chick and get the date going,MAKE A MOVE ON THE GIRL.


Hug her,try to kiss her,touch her tit....do SOMETHING. Show sexual interest.

 

[alpha_ash]

You see the part I enlarged and enboldened?


THAT'S what friendzoned you. This chick didn't friendzone you,you friendzoned YOURSELF.

You had 3 DATES with this chick and did NOTHING SEXUAL on none of them? I can let the first date go,but the second and especially the third,it's no wonder she lost interest.


A woman WANTS TO FEEL wanted,desired by a man,attractive,she wants CHEMISTRY. And she gave you more than ample opportunity to do something.


I think her patience just ran out. After 3 dates,she was probably like,"Tsssk,fvck it".





Yeah...you did ALL THAT,but when it came to "crunchtime" you didn't pull the trigger. Obviously the chick was attracted to you,otherwise you never would have made it to the third date.


All the teasing,playing,and joking around don't mean sh1t if it doesn't lead to anything sexual. And while you were teasing and joking around,she decided to go find herself a man who wants to get down and dirty IN THE BEDROOM.





Well can you blame her? After the first two dates,she probably had a pretty good indication of what the next date would be like.....void of any sexuality.....and she was RIGHT.



Kinda seems like she was trying to see which out of you and this other guy would she be most interested in,and you won......up until the 3 nonsexual dates. This chick actually has more patience than a lot of women cause most would have just wrote you off after the first nonsexual date. She at least went 2 before started flaking,then even a third after that.






Hmm. Just sounds like she misses her "hangout buddy".




The only idea I can think of is for you to GROW UP,and learn from YOUR mistakes here so you won't repeat them again in the future.

You wanna screw around with this girl when she did NOTHING WRONG?


It's not her fault you got friendzoned,she gave you THREE DATES to do something/make a move,and YOU didn't do it.





Look man...you have skill. You obviously know how to pick up chicks,I mean...you got this chick to go out with you 3 times. You don't need her to get other girls,just do whatever it was you did to get this chick with other girls,ONLY THIS TIME....after you get the chick and get the date going,MAKE A MOVE ON THE GIRL.


Hug her,try to kiss her,touch her tit....do SOMETHING. Show sexual interest.

Thanks man! Lots of good insight. I'm going to just continue having fun at clubs