"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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No Contact FOREVER? Seriously guys?

shyguy32

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Only reason I bring this up, because there are a few relationships I have in the past that after the breakup we waited for about 6 months or so and somehow started talking to each other again, but it was as friends and not as us talking about getting back together. I think as you just have to let those emotions die down and then you can reach out and try to be friends with this person.

Not to mention I feel it's so much easier to make a booty call on an ex than a chick I've only known for a little while.

If after months of you getting over her and of you dating other girls that she's still on your mind than I would say no contact. But if you are over her emotionally I don't see a problem in building another friendship! Granted most of my relationships have ended on good terms and I haven't had to deal with cheating. (that I know of)..And I feel like I'm adult enough to handle the situation.

Just my opinion boys.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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arutha

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Depends on the situation. If you end on friendly terms, but move on, and both are comfortable being friends and potentially seeing the other person with someone else, then go for it! If not... Well, its best to just say no contact. And remember, when things first end it is hard to think no contact. 6 months down the line when you have 5 other targets to have fun with? You won't give a **** if she calls you.
 

SamMalone

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So this girl sucking another guys **** doesn't bother you? If you're having sex with her just as "friends", the situation isn't going to end well when one of you drops the other once you get serious with someone else. Has nothing to do with being adult.
 

WhitePimp

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No contact is meant to stop you from any communication while you're still in a vulnerable phase and likely to be suffering one-itis and liable to say stupid sh!t in hopes to get her back. If you're completely over someone, then NC is a moot point, since you won't care about contacting them.
 

ThatMysteriousGuy

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shyguy32 said:
Only reason I bring this up, because there are a few relationships I have in the past that after the breakup we waited for about 6 months or so and somehow started talking to each other again, but it was as friends and not as us talking about getting back together. I think as you just have to let those emotions die down and then you can reach out and try to be friends with this person.

Not to mention I feel it's so much easier to make a booty call on an ex than a chick I've only known for a little while.

If after months of you getting over her and of you dating other girls that she's still on your mind than I would say no contact. But if you are over her emotionally I don't see a problem in building another friendship! Granted most of my relationships have ended on good terms and I haven't had to deal with cheating. (that I know of)..And I feel like I'm adult enough to handle the situation.

Just my opinion boys.
Sex with the Ex, Less Nag, More Shag! It's friggin totally awesome if the guy realizes that completely. She'll enjoy it too.

Yup, real "no contact" is about men who are still making emotional decisions about women they can't get over. "No contact" isn't about her, it's about him. If he can completely get over it, he can contact again and she'll **** him for the rest of his life.

"No contact" is far too often purposely misread by men who want a "magic pill" to recover/rewind romantic relationships...it's not, it's about removing that delusion and evolving as a man.
 
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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shyguy32

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White, and Mysterious...thats what I always thought. It's just so you actually get over her and move on with your life and learn from the relationship.

And one thing you have to do with an ex is lay it out there and say "Hey obviously we don't do well as a couple, but the sex was great and all we can have between us is a sexual thing" I've done that and it seems to work.
 

Weezy

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How does this situation apply?

You get dumped... wait 6 months and then contact her?

I think the thing with NC is you just do not want to be the first to break it, especially if you are rejected. If 6 months down the road she wants to be friends and your not pining over her, that's cool...

But I dunno if I could ever break NC... even after 6 months without some indication from her that she wants to chat. After all, as a matter of respect, this person dumped you, which basically means get the fvck outta my life. You open yourself up to get punked again by breaking NC without her initiating the break.
 

horaholic

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The OP is totally right. I do this with my ex's, and usually get drama free sex out of the deal. IF your emotions are died down, especially on BOTH ends, there is no reason NOT to be friends, if you are both single. Its actually a recipe for a very good friendship, if it wont bother each other that you see other people.
 

thecurtainfalls

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Mysterious I usually like your posts but your signature is pure unadulterated bullshyt. I'm in NC with my ex - are you really claiming that I don't understand how to end situations in a rational way? Give me a break. Everyone's situation is different. Not everyone is going NC in a misguided attempt to get their ex back.

Protip - sweeping generalizations, especially judgmental ones, make you appear to have little to no critical thinking skills or pertinent life experience.
 

horaholic

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thecurtainfalls said:
Mysterious I usually like your posts but your signature is pure unadulterated bullshyt. I'm in NC with my ex - are you really claiming that I don't understand how to end situations in a rational way? Give me a break. Everyone's situation is different. Not everyone is going NC in a misguided attempt to get their ex back.

Protip - sweeping generalizations, especially judgmental ones, make you appear to have little to no critical thinking skills or pertinent life experience.
Struck a nerve, did he? Are you so vain as to think he wrote that thread you? Wow!
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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ThatMysteriousGuy

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thecurtainfalls said:
Mysterious I usually like your posts but your signature is pure unadulterated bullshyt. I'm in NC with my ex - are you really claiming that I don't understand how to end situations in a rational way? Give me a break. Everyone's situation is different. Not everyone is going NC in a misguided attempt to get their ex back.
You got very emotionally upset by what I wrote because it somehow set you off about your ex-girlfriend and no contact.

Little pixels on a computer screen that were created by someone you don't even know upset you. The issue isn't me.

Protip - sweeping generalizations, especially judgmental ones, make you appear to have little to no critical thinking skills or pertinent life experience.
Or, Mr Jr Detective, it could be that the .sigs here don't allow anything with more characters than I put in it so I kept it short without choice. :rolleyes:

Also, anytime someone says something like "i generally like you but...." my critical thinking goes into overdrive because phrasing like that is a weasley way of trying to disarm someone before going on the offense.

I could go into a long, extremely detailed explanation about my .sig, but fortunately, my care factory is out of stock on that matter.
 

Proselytiser

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It's all right........ if u have a good time!
What is he supposed to do? Outline in his signature every conceivable situation where you should apply no contact?

Protip - someone with 'critical thinking skills' and 'pertinent life experience' should be content to ignore what they can tell doesn't apply to them...
 
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