No contact after dumping the girl

[Brandonc662]

I refused to put up with the girls disrespectful behavior so yesterday I told her I was sick of her **** and we were over. I went no contact this morning a mutual friend, that is on my side, told her by text he has not heard from me and I was not answering his calls. She texted me at 6pm asking "U alright?" I did not respond. I have two cell phones, her and her best friend call my cells at the same time at 7:30pm. Her friend sent a text saying "Dude WTF, why won't you answer me" and the girl I dumped left a voicemail on my iPhone saying "I'm worried about you... I understand if you don't want to talk but I'm worried about you... Please please please let me know you are alright, please"

I want to go no contact and letting my phone ring and not returning the call is fine but should I ignore the text messages completely or respond in a day or two? Also what do you make of the responses to my no contact? Is she worried about my safety or is she wondering what I'm up to?

 

[bigneil]

In the "beginning of the end" stages of my last relationship she would freak out if I didn't reply. That lasted a good 2 months. But I would always reply to calm her nerves, thinking it would somehow help my cause. It never did. As time went on, she cared less and less if I replied or not, but still disrespected me. I wish I had maintained NC early on - that might have been my only chance to regain true control.

 

[Brandonc662]

I'm sorry about that buddy...

I did contact her last night so she was clear I was serious when I said it was over. But haven't responded to the contact she tried to make today...

This girl is a ex and has HPD. I was broke up with her for 2 years. I Finnaly broke down and started to believe the **** she was telling me. Things like "you were the love of my life","If we got back together it would be my fairy tale dream come true","I realized what I lost and will not make the same mistake again"... But really after I agreed to give her another shot her actions did not match her words and in just 10 days I dumped her and that's where we are today.

 

[Brandonc662]

Really no response to any of the questions I asked in the op?

 

[betheman]

I refused to put up with the girls disrespectful behavior so yesterday I told her I was sick of her **** and we were over. I went no contact this morning a mutual friend, that is on my side, told her by text he has not heard from me and I was not answering his calls. She texted me at 6pm asking "U alright?" I did not respond. I have two cell phones, her and her best friend call my cells at the same time at 7:30pm. Her friend sent a text saying "Dude WTF, why won't you answer me" and the girl I dumped left a voicemail on my iPhone saying "I'm worried about you... I understand if you don't want to talk but I'm worried about you... Please please please let me know you are alright, please"

I want to go no contact and letting my phone ring and not returning the call is fine but should I ignore the text messages completely or respond in a day or two? Also what do you make of the responses to my no contact? Is she worried about my safety or is she wondering what I'm up to?

she isnt worried about you, she is worried why your not answering, why your not responding. shoot her a plain text back, "no need to worry, Im just fine" no more no less and then no more

 

[Brandonc662]

Should I send that text today or let her squirm another day or two?

 

[betheman]

why make her squirm? get it done and out of the way, then no more

 

[Brandonc662]

Quick update: sent the "No need to worry, I'm just fine" text.

Within a min she sent "I guess.. Oh since u put ne out 2 the curb.... I'm pretty ****in good. Chad hinted tht there was something goin on between the 2 of u. 4 Christ ****in sake please tell me thts not true?"

Chad is the mutual friend I was talking about in the op. He is gay. He did not hint at anything like that. He told her how great of a guy I was and she was stupid for not fighting to keep me. Then they got into a text argument about something else. There was alot of name calling and he told her she didn't deserve me and he could get any guy he wanted.

I was thinking about responding with a simple "lol... No" but I'm not sure if it's worth contacting her again. What do you guys think?

 

[betheman]

well....your now going to be labelled ..GAY! she is going to smear you big style! your mate hasnt exactly done you any favours.
only way out, get with another girl asap and fcucking broadcast it and bang the ass off her, in fact get a couple

 

[Brandonc662]

She knows I get *****.... What made her insist on us being exclusive again is while we were talking she came over and ran into a girl doing the walk of shame with my hoodie on and I told her I was busy ****ing is why I didn't return her call... She knows I'm very stright, we were in a very long relationship before. Should I respond at all? Or maybe text what I put in my last post or maybe sarcasticly with "Oh yeah... Lol"

 

[luckster]

why make her squirm? get it done and out of the way, then no more

I think you are unsure about your decision to break up. If you know this is the right decision for you, you need to stop putting so much emphasis on your responses. Be chill and cool, and stop the contempt you have towards her.

It's difficult, I know. If this was an LTR, then chances are this woman is one of the few people on this earth that knows you best, so it's hard to simply say "next" and it's hard to just "stop." But you guys broke up and so that is what you are doing -- you are saying "next." Be true to your decision to break up and, in your responses, have no malice and no hard feelings towards her. Simple, short, to the point responses are best.

What sort of response you write is really up to the type of person you are and she knows you to be so there's no exact line someone can give you.

 

[Tiguere]

call your backup girl ...please tell me you always had a backup girl even while in a LTR like any real man would.

 

[Brandonc662]

It only lasted 10 days so I got a few backup girls that I did not cut contact with at all.... I'm wanting to stop contact but this bull**** she made up may need a response.

 

[betheman]

It only lasted 10 days so I got a few backup girls that I did not cut contact with at all.... I'm wanting to stop contact but this bull**** she made up may need a response.

the response needed , if your serious, is ignorance and moving on

 

[Chickfight]

betheman is right. What do you care? You and her are over. Just move on.

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

I refused to put up with the girls disrespectful behavior so yesterday I told her I was sick of her **** and we were over. I went no contact this morning a mutual friend, that is on my side, told her by text he has not heard from me and I was not answering his calls. She texted me at 6pm asking "U alright?" I did not respond. I have two cell phones, her and her best friend call my cells at the same time at 7:30pm. Her friend sent a text saying "Dude WTF, why won't you answer me" and the girl I dumped left a voicemail on my iPhone saying "I'm worried about you... I understand if you don't want to talk but I'm worried about you... Please please please let me know you are alright, please"

I want to go no contact and letting my phone ring and not returning the call is fine but should I ignore the text messages completely or respond in a day or two? Also what do you make of the responses to my no contact? Is she worried about my safety or is she wondering what I'm up to?

If you're going to go no contact then why do you care about returning her text messages. That kind of defeats the purpose doesn't it? She disrespected you, and you still want to talk to her? You said this whole thing only lasted 10 days? Then why are you putting so much effort into it? Move on and start dating other girls and ignore her or just tell her to quit texting or calling you.

 

[Brandonc662]

Maybe I was not 100% clear in my previous post. She is a ex we were together over 3yrs. I stopped seeing her 2yrs ago. She broke me down with all of her talk but once she got me the disrespectful behavior from the past came back. So I ended it only 10 days in because I know where this road leads.

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

Maybe I was not 100% clear in my previous post. She is a ex we were together over 3yrs. I stopped seeing her 2yrs ago. She broke me down with all of her talk but once she got me the disrespectful behavior from the past came back. So I ended it only 10 days in because I know where this road leads.

Then that is why you should not contact her anymore. You know how she is and like you said "you know where the road leads" so don't drive down that road anymore. Don't let her manipulate you and don't let her disrespect you again. She knows how to get to you, and how to do it over again, so don't give her the opportunity to do so. Each time you contact her it adds fuel to the fire. You were with her for 3 years, you broke up, gave her another chance, and she disrespects you again. She won't change, and you're just making things harder on yourself by replying to her and keeping it going. it only lasted 10 days and i bet you were miserable too being disrespected. So why give her a chance to do it again. No contact means no contact and with her it should be for good, unless you want to keep playing games with her. You said you have other women, go date them and find a woman who respects you, because this you had doesn't.

 

[Brandonc662]

Then that is why you should not contact her anymore. You know how she is and like you said "you know where the road leads" so don't drive down that road anymore. Don't let her manipulate you and don't let her disrespect you again. She knows how to get to you, and how to do it over again, so don't give her the opportunity to do so. Each time you contact her it adds fuel to the fire. You were with her for 3 years, you broke up, gave her another chance, and she disrespects you again. She won't change, and you're just making things harder on yourself by replying to her and keeping it going. it only lasted 10 days and i bet you were miserable too being disrespected. So why give her a chance to do it again. No contact means no contact and with her it should be for good, unless you want to keep playing games with her. You said you have other women, go date them and find a woman who respects you, because this you had doesn't.

Exactly what I was thinking, just needed to have someone else confirm it. I appriciate it!