NLP -- lessening approach anxiety

[jond]

Has anyone here used NLP to make approaching women easier?
If so, what techniques did you use, and how much of a difference did it make?

If have already overcome the approach fear, and you did it without NLP, is it that you tried NLP and found it not to work, or did you not try it?

I tryied searching, but search terms have to be 4 letters or more.

 

[DjDreamer]

If you want to make approaching women easy you gotta play the role of comforter...

She is not suppose to comfort you, you are suppose to comfort her. She has the problem and you're providing the solution.

 

[Jariel]

NLP is good for repressing fears. Try positive affirmations, denying your fear and try positive mental questioning such as "Why am I so fearless at approaching?"

Or you can try anchoring. I've never had this work for me, but it's a recognised NLP technique and is meant to work for some.

However, this is only a temporary solution. If you stop repeating these techniques, you'll probably find yourself back at square one.

Best way to deal with any phobia is to understand it and try to fix the root cause. For a lot of people fear of approaching is a confidence issue, which is the area that needs improvement.

 

[DjDreamer]

Fear of approach is basicly wanting the woman to provide comfort while trying to act as if everything is alright...it's a total lack of honesty...an honest approach for the guy that is fearful to approach would involve the revelation of a bunch of insecurities that will be a big turn off for the approached hottie...

Now if you realise that the hottie is the one that is fearful to approach, the one with the problem then you'll be quick to offer her the solution, YOU...

In other words...if you don't want to be fearful to approach then simply believe in YOURSELF not NLP...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Jariel
NLP is good for repressing fears. Try positive affirmations, denying your fear and try positive mental questioning such as "Why am I so fearless at approaching?"

You're kidding right? NLP when used properly is used in a positive, forward moving process. It's common knowledge that the mind is a 'yes' mechanism that can not function on 'not' doing something (this includes repression). This is the reason why will power doesn't work, it focuses on NOT doing something.

Jond, get a good book on NLP from your local bookstore. Don't follow the snippets of information that you get from forums. For NLP to work you need to know several aspects on how it works. It will take a while to understand it fully but once you do, you will be able to overcome your fears and not just suppressing them.

 

[jond]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Jond, get a good book on NLP from your local bookstore. Don't follow the snippets of information that you get from forums. For NLP to work you need to know several aspects on how it works. It will take a while to understand it fully but once you do, you will be able to overcome your fears and not just suppressing them. [/B]

I've read though 'Using your brain' by bandler and 'The Structure of Magic' by Bandler and Grinder. Both, although highly recommened on amazon, I thought were just 'okay'. Using your brain basically just talked about the swish technique. The Structure of magic just talked about your model of the world, and thinking complelely(without deletions, distortion, generalization, etc).

My problem is, I find it impossible to really get into something if I dont know its going to work.

I know a lot of NLP basics, but I find it hard to believe if its so powerful that its not being widely used here.

My only guess is that either it doesnt work, or people havent been exposed to it outside of RJs version of NLP.

 

[BLUEox117]

what does nlp stand for ?

 

[david90]

don't use NLP. Use the JGYBDI Aka "Just Grab Your Balls and Do it" method.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by jond
I've read though 'Using your brain' by bandler and 'The Structure of Magic' by Bandler and Grinder. Both, although highly recommened on amazon, I thought were just 'okay'. Using your brain basically just talked about the swish technique. The Structure of magic just talked about your model of the world, and thinking complelely(without deletions, distortion, generalization, etc).

My problem is, I find it impossible to really get into something if I dont know its going to work.

I know a lot of NLP basics, but I find it hard to believe if its so powerful that its not being widely used here.

My only guess is that either it doesnt work, or people havent been exposed to it outside of RJs version of NLP.

Give me a couple of days to dig through my old books and I'll get you a couple of titles. Done correctly it can work wonders. I used it on myself to get rid of my introversion with much success. I've also helped a couple of people quit smoking. Maybe it was because they knew I wouldn't date a woman that smoked but either way, they were able to stop.

One thing though, you have to approach it with an open mind. It's just like the things that you read in this forum, unless you are willing to give the ideas a chance, you will just be just another AFC (there's enough of them lurking around here already).

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by david90
don't use NLP. Use the JGYBDI Aka "Just Grab Your Balls and Do it" method.

Masturbation may not work for everyone...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by BLUEox117
what does nlp stand for ?

Neuro Linguistic Programming.

 

[jond]

Originally posted by BLUEox117
what does nlp stand for ?

This is a good link to give you an idea:
http://www.gambleinparadise.com/articlex160.html

It goes over how to do the swish technique(used to change behaviors including shyness) and how to anchor things(used to change your state instantly).

 

[jond]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Give me a couple of days to dig through my old books and I'll get you a couple of titles. Done correctly it can work wonders. I used it on myself to get rid of my introversion with much success.

I think I have most of the basics down as far as the methods go and whatnot. What NLP methods did you use with your introversion?
Have you tried using it with approach anxiety?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You know, I think you should start off with something that is a bit more mainstream. Dig up a copy of the book "The New Psycho-Cybernetics" by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. It's the cornerstone of most self improvement books.

For anxiety I would look at the work of Lucinda Basset, I think her most popular book is "From Panic to Power." She's the director of a well known stress and anxiety center.