"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Nismo, can you judge my case?

Sofomore

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This is specifically to Judge Nismo but others can chime in as well.

Quick background: I have about 5 plates currently, sleeping with 3 of them as FWB, 2 are in the works. I know the ways of a DJ and the girls respond to me well. Meeting single women is not a problem as I am a senior in college.

I met a very sexy blonde girl in my class about 3 weeks ago. Immediately we hit it off, very touchy-feely, we generally have a good time together. When I didn't show up to class one day she said she missed me.

I suggest we study before our test, she agrees. Two days ago we studied for our test together at her place, flirting the entire time.

After the test, she agrees to grab a beer on campus, 1 on 1. It's on. We have a good time, share some laughs and she is qualifying to me, telling me about why she is a cool person and why I should hang out with her :rock:

I go home and tell my good friend and roommate I had a good time with this girl. He tells me she is in a 3 year long-term, long-distance relationship. Hmm...she definitely acts single around me.

Now I have never been in a situation like this before. I decided to take a look at her actions AND her words:

Always happy to see me.
Has always agreed to meet up, no flakes.
Makes sexual jokes around me.
Busts my balls and can handle when I joke with her.
Has NEVER mentioned her boyfriend.
Gives me the classic puppy eyes.


I am conflicted in what to do. She is giving me 100% buying signals and appears ready to branch swing. Nismo, what is your ruling for this case? Is there a solid way of telling if she is an attention wh0re, or is down?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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GreatHornedOwl

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The girl doesn't know you know she's in a relationship. You can either play dumb and try to give her the pipe, or when you make the move she's going to tell you she's with somebody.

No offense, but the girl sounds like a ho.
 

TonyBaloney

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I am SORRY OP, but why the hell are you rating Nismo as the font of all knowledge.

He's only gonna be pessimistic~mark my words...

Also wanted to congratulate GreatHornedOwl on the best name i've seen so far on ss ;)
 

Maximummax

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Here is my suggestion
Play the game as you are going
try to bang her, if she agress you got a lay. if she backs up you are loosing nothing.
Don't get attached to this girl, as she is cheating on her BF.
 

Sofomore

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@Toney...Nismo seems like one of the more experienced DJ's CURRENTLY on this board. If Pook, squirrels, Mr. Fingers or any other greats were around I'd ask them. I am just not looking for advice like "no offense, but the girl sounds like a ho".

@Maximummax, thanks for a good reply. I have no intentions of seeing only one girl so I will continually spin plates. +rep
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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PrettyBoyAJ

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Man, this has got to be up my alley. I have messed with quite a few chicks that have been in relationships. If she doesn't say she is in a relationship yet she is in one then that is a great sign for you. That means automatically that she is very interested in you.

Play it cool and don't mention anything about the girlfriend and do not spend money on another dudes girl. I repeat... do not spend money on the next dudes girl. Bring her to the apartment for a movie and some drinks and take it from there playboy. You should already know that this is a FWB situation. Nothing more.
 

Naughty Ninja

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Sofomore said:
Now I have never been in a situation like this before. I decided to take a look at her actions AND her words:

Always happy to see me.
Has always agreed to meet up, no flakes.
Makes sexual jokes around me.
Busts my balls and can handle when I joke with her.
Has NEVER mentioned her boyfriend.
Gives me the classic puppy eyes.


I am conflicted in what to do. She is giving me 100% buying signals and appears ready to branch swing. Nismo, what is your ruling for this case? Is there a solid way of telling if she is an attention wh0re, or is down?
From what you've told. She seems like she's down for it.

Simple ways to find out for sure.

4 hurdles to have her pass.

1) Invite her out for drinks at night or somewhere for escalation opportunities. (If she declines and you set up another time and she shows no big deal.)

2) make a move at some point or points (If she goes with it good. If not..try again.)

3) invite her to your place (If she goes even better. If not try to make her more relaxed (not drunk) )

4) Once back at your place. Watch a movie. Glass of wine. Maybe a shoulder massage from behind with your fingers stroking her hair and running through her scalp while telling her how good she smells. Then GENTLY but firmly hold her hair towards the nape of her neck and lightly pull her head back and start kissing her without a word...then go from there.
 

Pneuma

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An invite to her place, to me, always equals bang or at least me pushing the interaction until I get a definitive NO. I think this was a misstep on your part.

I would be more aggressive in one-on-one situations and less available in phone/text game. I would emotionally unhook myself a bit from her. Make a plan for you next meeting. That plan should end in the bang. Naughty Ninja is right on with the plan.
 

bigneil

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Nismo has already ruled on this:

"17. I have a boyfriend (IHAB for short) Every woman does and every woman doesn't, whether real or fictional. Some women will say they're married. If you get either one, it means that I don't find you attractive enough for me. Simply put, if a woman is really into you, she's totally single. If she isn't, then she got a boyfriend who plays football." (see Princess is in another castle sticky).
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Iceberg

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5string said:
Another case of overthinking. Just mount her.

Somebody had to say it.

Ha. Right.

I'm not nismo, but I'll tell you the same thing I tell anyone who asks a similar question:

Instead of analyzing her puppy dog eyes, or the jokes she tells you, just ask her out, get a few drinks, escalate with some kino, and go for a kiss.

Just the fact that you're thinking this much about it means that you have her on some pedestal. The more you think about it, the more you pedestal her, the less likely you are to make a move.
 

Sofomore

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Iceberg said:
Ha. Right.

I'm not nismo, but I'll tell you the same thing I tell anyone who asks a similar question:

Instead of analyzing her puppy dog eyes, or the jokes she tells you, just ask her out, get a few drinks, escalate with some kino, and go for a kiss.

Just the fact that you're thinking this much about it means that you have her on some pedestal. The more you think about it, the more you pedestal her, the less likely you are to make a move.
Thank you, this is what I needed to hear. Been thinking about it too much and I didn't even notice.
 

SgtSplacker

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College is very much about the "here and now" people live in different places, have different lives outside of school, no promises. But everyone is there together trying to have a good time and live out the college life people enjoy so much. Do your duty and tap that booty man! You don't know what relationship she has with her man, recent changes, etc until you hear it from her. And I definitely would not have the conversation before you tap it.

You don't even know if this girl is a horrible lay, stanky, sexual issues, medical issues. Only after you know the whole picture can you even begin to decide if you like her so much to be worried about this stuff. Put a jimmy in your wallet and tap that monkey style! :moon:
 

nismo-4

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bigneil said:
Nismo has already ruled on this:

"17. I have a boyfriend (IHAB for short) Every woman does and every woman doesn't, whether real or fictional. Some women will say they're married. If you get either one, it means that I don't find you attractive enough for me. Simply put, if a woman is really into you, she's totally single. If she isn't, then she got a boyfriend who plays football." (see Princess is in another castle sticky).
One of two points here for solving this case!

The other is:

4. Overanalyzing

Stop that sh*t and make a damn move on her before you hear of the princess getting pounded by some Hammer Brothers in World 3. Take that risk and you'll know the result.

Toney Baloney can't stand my posts, but I could care less. Can't satisfy everybody. I will still speak reality.

*clears throat*

You'll only know if you make a move, and if she accepts or rejects your advances. Above all, don't get attached and for damn sure don't bend over backwards for her. And do read the sticky thread I wrote as well as its sequel (link on second page in said sticky thread.)

Now you have Judge nismo's official ruling, and of course the jury helped out too. Can't do it alone. :yes:

Case closed. Go for the gold. :rockon:
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Sofomore

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GreatHornedOwl said:
So that was the earth-shattering advice we were waiting for?
It wasn't earth shattering advice I was looking for, just his opinion on the matter. Why don't you take your bad attitude somewhere else. Sounds like you are a pessimist.
 
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