backseatjuan
Banned
I've had the most unbelievable dream ever, a nightmare of sorts. I'm at this old old two bedroom apartment where I used to stay as a kid, and in the morning I wake up in one of the rooms. I'm still laying in my bed, and I'm discussing the interest level scale in my mind. If the girl initiates sex, and always answers she's into you. Here my old girlfriend comes, actually my last LTR, because I had no ltrs since. She comes to my bed and kisses me, and then as I'm all happy that she initiated the kiss, she tells stops it and tells me to brush my teeth, you have a bad taste in your mouth. I do, I just woke up, duh. Then she goes to the bathroom to fix her hair or put her make up on. Then another dude walks into my room and gets one of my shirts from my closet so he could put it on. I ask him, aren't you a fcking chechen. He tells me, yes why not, I'm a chechen, why would it matter. Dude was big with muscles, tall and fit. Then it clicks in my mind, wtf, my girlfriend wasn't sleeping with me. What kind of interest level are we talking about here, a kiss that she wouldn't go through because of bad taste in my mouth, and she's not sleeping with me. I stand up and go to the other room, and there, my fears are confirmed, she is sleeping separately from me on the coach. But is she sleeping with that other dude that is putting my shirt on, I ask myself, and I see another bed right next to hers, where he was sleeping. For a moment my mind is at peace. But then I realize, she is not sleeping with me, she is sleeping in another room, in separate bed with a stranger who has higher smv than me. She is now exited bathroom and is ready to leave with the dude that is now wearing my shirt, I'm in my underwear, just woke up. My girlfriend? I say to myself, no she isn't. With the though of being ccked I wake up.
I had a little break down. Enough to look at the world I'm living with a different perspective. After drinking sunday, I woke up monday, and I realized my problem. I've been living life without seeing this problem that I'm having over and over again. I fck with people. I literally seek conflict. Teens were pissing outside my apartment, 3 at the same time, I yelled at them, told them to fck off go find a bush instead of pissing a near entrance. Then another teens were trying to brake a bottle, I told them don't do it here, people walk here. Then at the bar I took the key to go piss and dude was outside waiting to get it, I didn't see him at the bar, so I told him to be sure to bring it back. He didn't, I yelled at him. Neighbor upstairs has two small children and it gets noisy, I took a piss into baby carriage they park at the entrance to the apartment. Another neighbor left trash outside on the staircase, it smelled, after I ring his bell and nobody answered, I took that trash and put it outside of apartment entrance. At work, I remember, woman brought in her laptop for repair, it wasn't turning on, I did repaired it, then she came back and called me a crook because her power supply wasn't working, but I did repair her laptop, it was a mistake on her part, I told her to fck off. Then another time someone called me up at 2 in the morning, waking me up, asking if his laptop is ready, I ended up not doing anything to his laptop and blocking his number. There are many many things like this, and it goes beyond fcking with bastards that deserve it. I also fck with elderly and mothers with children by not giving my place in the bus.
Anyway, I realized I treat people bad, and I should stop caring about things. Someone taking a sht on staircase? If I yell at him people will view be badly, I should just walk by and say good day Sir.
I had a little break down. Enough to look at the world I'm living with a different perspective. After drinking sunday, I woke up monday, and I realized my problem. I've been living life without seeing this problem that I'm having over and over again. I fck with people. I literally seek conflict. Teens were pissing outside my apartment, 3 at the same time, I yelled at them, told them to fck off go find a bush instead of pissing a near entrance. Then another teens were trying to brake a bottle, I told them don't do it here, people walk here. Then at the bar I took the key to go piss and dude was outside waiting to get it, I didn't see him at the bar, so I told him to be sure to bring it back. He didn't, I yelled at him. Neighbor upstairs has two small children and it gets noisy, I took a piss into baby carriage they park at the entrance to the apartment. Another neighbor left trash outside on the staircase, it smelled, after I ring his bell and nobody answered, I took that trash and put it outside of apartment entrance. At work, I remember, woman brought in her laptop for repair, it wasn't turning on, I did repaired it, then she came back and called me a crook because her power supply wasn't working, but I did repair her laptop, it was a mistake on her part, I told her to fck off. Then another time someone called me up at 2 in the morning, waking me up, asking if his laptop is ready, I ended up not doing anything to his laptop and blocking his number. There are many many things like this, and it goes beyond fcking with bastards that deserve it. I also fck with elderly and mothers with children by not giving my place in the bus.
Anyway, I realized I treat people bad, and I should stop caring about things. Someone taking a sht on staircase? If I yell at him people will view be badly, I should just walk by and say good day Sir.
