"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Nice guys v Nice Girls?? Opinions please . . .

WRX_is_like_SEX

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Hello worthy followers . . :D

. . .Now here's the idea . .Why is that whenever girlds refer to you as a "nice guy", it automatically presupposes the negative connotation of a guy being a wuss, an unexciting and unattractive AFC . . .I mean DeAngelo seems to treat this as some sort of absolute . . :confused:

. . . . . . .Could the words "nice guy" also mean a solid guy, a stong guy and a good guy . . In other words . .A person with less or with out flaws . . .


. . . . . And what intrigues me, that there is no such stigma attached to a " nice girl" . .A nice girl is something positive, which basically means a girl that she's not a ***** . .

. .Isn't the word nice a positive all rounder . . Answers on a postcard!!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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WRX_is_like_SEX said:
...
. . . . . . .Could the words "nice guy" also mean a solid guy, a stong guy and a good guy . . In other words . .A person with less or with out flaws . . .
Here's something that few people notice, men use the term "nice guy" more than women. More times than not they use it as a justification for their actions. Also, if a woman feels that a guy is solid, strong or even good, she'll say just that. They typically only say "nice" when none of the other traits stands out in a guy.

WRX_is_like_SEX said:
...
. . . . . And what intrigues me, that there is no such stigma attached to a " nice girl" . .A nice girl is something positive, which basically means a girl that she's not a ***** . .
. .
It's typically the nice guys who want nice girls. Personally, I feel that nice girls are as boring as most nice guys; no edge. This isn't to say that they need to be Feministas or anything worse, but they need some depth of character which will identify them more than just "nice." It's the difference between French vanilla and just plain vanilla.
WRX_is_like_SEX said:
...
. .Isn't the word nice a positive all rounder . .
That's just it, it is just that, an "all rounder." It's typical, standard, predictable, plain, bland, boring, etc... There's no color, depth, variance, excitement, intrigue, uniqueness, passion or life.
 

WRX_is_like_SEX

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
It's typically the nice guys who want nice girls. Personally, I feel that nice girls are as boring as most nice guys; no edge.
. .But these are the kind of absolutes I am trying to avoid . . So unless I go for a crack wh0re then I am a "nice guy . .I for example know girls that are not nice . . .By which I mean, they are not nice in any way . . .Cunning, manipulative, narcisistic and crafty . . .The type of girl or person you may find revolting outright . . ..

. . .So if that's the case I'd rather go for the nice girl!!!
 

ChrizZ

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yeah, but nice girls are usually ugly or have a bf.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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WRX_is_like_SEX said:
. .But these are the kind of absolutes I am trying to avoid . . So unless I go for a crack wh0re then I am a "nice guy . .I for example know girls that are not nice . . .By which I mean, they are not nice in any way . . .Cunning, manipulative, narcisistic and crafty . . .The type of girl or person you may find revolting outright . . ..

. . .So if that's the case I'd rather go for the nice girl!!!
If nice is all or the primary character trait you have going on for yourself, you'll more that likely get the "nice" lable. But with your example with women, there's a myriad of other qualities aside of cunning, manipulative, narcissistic and crafty but the only other one that you recognize is nice??!!! How about funny, adventurous, insightful, achieving, giving, honest etc. I would choose any of those over a woman who's just nice any day.
 

eyedogg

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Well put Francisco! I would take the latter as well.
 

foxhound87

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There is nothing wrong with being a nice guy as long as your not a *****. I consider myself a nice guy, and I have women after me left, right and centre. It just comes down to being confident in yourself and you actions. Right now I am dating a nice girl, she is honest, caring and georgous. You can't always label everything black or white, :woo: Because you know what they say about assumptions..
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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eyedogg said:
Well put Francisco! I would take the latter as well.
We all have the ability to define ourselves. Some people are alright with being "nice," others are more diverse and chose more personal and unique ways to define themselves.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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foxhound87 said:
There is nothing wrong with being a nice guy as long as your not a *****. I consider myself a nice guy, and I have women after me left, right and centre. It just comes down to being confident in yourself and you actions. Right now I am dating a nice girl, she is honest, caring and georgous. You can't always label everything black or white, :woo: Because you know what they say about assumptions..
I don't think anyone has said that nice guys can't get women, they just tend to do it differently. What we're talking about how nice guys are perceived by women and how nice guys justify their actions.
 

Mental

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WRX_is_like_SEX said:
Hello worthy followers . . :D

. . .Now here's the idea . .Why is that whenever girlds refer to you as a "nice guy", it automatically presupposes the negative connotation of a guy being a wuss, an unexciting and unattractive AFC . . .I mean DeAngelo seems to treat this as some sort of absolute . . :confused:

. . . . . . .Could the words "nice guy" also mean a solid guy, a stong guy and a good guy . . In other words . .A person with less or with out flaws . . .


. . . . . And what intrigues me, that there is no such stigma attached to a " nice girl" . .A nice girl is something positive, which basically means a girl that she's not a ***** . .

. .Isn't the word nice a positive all rounder . . Answers on a postcard!!

I think that a "niceguy" has a connotation of having feminine traits, which is not desirable for a heterosexual man to have. The men grow up to show macho behavior, so any man who shows a lot of emotion is generally found to be really weird and creepy, or at the very least, manipulative in a negative way.

But a lot of guys see an emotional woman as being more "normal." A man cries, he had better have gotten kicked in the balls, or his arm chopped off. A woman cries, and guys attribute it to "woman emotions" hormones and or PMS. We men generally don't have the same "excuse" for crying, unless something drastic has happened.

A nice girl tends to not have the same level of negative connotation to it, because women are seen as "more nice" by their nature (not the truth, but it's the perception that counts).

Ultimately though, you don't want desperation in either a man or woman that you're seeing. Whether you're a man or woman, listen too this advice; Don't start calling your smooshie-poo 4 times a day, every day of the week. Once in a while, if you're accidently playing phone tag, it's understandable. But don't call to chat this often, and don't make it a habit.

On a related subject; here's a line that I love from the Lion Witch and Wardrobe, that I would love to describe who I become:

Lucy and Mr. Tumnus are watching Aslan walk away from the kingdom they are to rule over. They talk about him, and this part of the story ends with the line: "But you mustn't press him. After all, he is not a tame lion"

And Lucy answers with: "No, but he IS good."
 
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