Nice Guy wins the girls

[BigFoot]

A manager where I work (and friend of mine) is in the middle of a divorce initiated by his wife earlier this year. It's an amicable divorce, and he was anxious about it at first. However (and I have never seen anything like this before) as soon as his separation became known, there were women pursuing him from everywhere it seemed! He has about 6/8 women he's dating now (all but one who approached him), but one at work he's more serious about. I believe it's primarily
because he's good looking, but he's also a really nice guy. He smiles alot, opens doors for women, gets his primary girlfriend little gifts, goes out of his way to make just about everyone comfortable. He's not a "DJ" as often described here. I would say he's more like the guys women say they want.

 

[[]D [] []V[] []D]

well let me be the first to say..

Social proof does help a lot

Does he smile when he talks to girls?

Does he make them laugh?

If he really is an AFC.... theyll turn on him soon enough and BAM theres you chance!

 

[BigFoot]

Yes, he does smile when he talks to them and he can be quite funny (and so can I but I don't have anywhere near the following he has) He's not an "AFC" in the sense that he's not a weak, clingy, dependent sort, but he's also not a "DJ" in the way it's often conveyed here. He's a nice guy, and alot of people wished they worked for him.

 

[MindOverMatter]

ya but what demographic are we dealing with here? 30+?

by that time, women realize that their clock is ticking and that they've wasted their youth on players who took more then they gave back, and are desperate to find a nice guy they can settle down with. You say the guy is a manager, good looking, friendly, polite, and buys gifts for his girlfriend? to a woman in that age demographic, that's a keeper.

besides, there's a lot you don't know here. what does he do on dates? maybe he has more game then you give him credit for.

 

[BigFoot]

Yes, he's almost 40. He knows how to handle himself on dates. At least two of the women (including the one he's more serious about) initiated sex with him first.
The women range in age from late twenties to mid 40's.

 

[Reed247]

destroy him

you must destroy him to get these women of his. Make it look like an accident.

 

[Daral]

Re: destroy him

Originally posted by Reed247
you must destroy him to get these women of his. Make it look like an accident.

I disagree. Perhaps he can be converted into a sort of "female trap", to catch women whom he can then collect. Destroying him would cut off the women supply.

 

[onthepath]

Originally posted by BigFoot
he's also a really nice guy. He smiles alot, opens doors for women, gets his primary girlfriend little gifts, goes out of his way to make just about everyone comfortable. He's not a "DJ" as often described here.

cool - this is pretty much the type of guy i want to become
someone who is socially adjusted, and knows how to handle himself - i'm also guessing, and hoping for his sake that he isn't a push over, and still knows how to stick up for himself

 

[wind20mph]

If I were you, I would have payed attention to that he is doing (Very Close Attention). So I will know that nice guys kiss ass.

There must be something that he is doing. You just didn't noticed because you were insecure enough to overlook some important things.

from what you just posted... I read it more like you are insecure than he is a nice guy.

 

[Viking25]

After 30 women do go for a nice guy! By then they became smarter and realized all the BS about "bad boy" type they were attracted when they were younger.
Plus they know that the guy was married ,so no fear of comitment in his character. Of course they will be attarcted to that!
Add to the equation his nice smile and their biological clock...

 

[Mister Big]

Re: Re: Nice Guy wins the girls

Originally posted by onthepath
cool - this is pretty much the type of guy i want to become
someone who is socially adjusted, and knows how to handle himself - i'm also guessing, and hoping for his sake that he isn't a push over, and still knows how to stick up for himself

This guy is my hero, but don't put him in the AFC category, yet. He now has to juggle multiple women which is not an easy task long term. I am younger than he is and am in a very similar situation. Initially scoring with women and managing the constant rotations of multiple women are two different animals. Some HBs flake out and could turn this picnic into a drama. I nexted one a few weeks ago and she turned toxic calling me all kinds of undeserved sh%t. I never lied to her, but older women have egos like the rest of us and are irrational and overly emotional. Being a DJ and not an AFC is necessary to keep your sanity.

This guy's success rate is pretty amazing and his dating age range is where I want to be right now. Most of the women I get are in their thirties, but I am trying to stretch this down. Doing what he is doing requires a lot of DJ skills in the back scenes with these girls. These women are or will start to test him very soon to get to the top of his list. He simply can't keep them all happy from a time management standpoint. I have trouble with more than 3 at a time. That's my practical limit due to other things going on in my life and trouble remembering who is who. If he is an AFC, my condolences in his current mode. Women are competitive and vicious in non committed relationships. Being a DJ out of pure survival is one reason I am here.

 

[spider_007]

THAT'S WHY HE IS GETTING DIVORCED:crackup:

there is a diference between being CURTIUS and DESPERE PVUSSY WHO FALLS ON HIS KNEES THE MINUTE A WOMAN LOOKS AT HIM.......(in another words AFC)

 

[Bonhomme]

Got it wrong

You've got it wrong as to what a "DJ" is supposed to be.

But that's too much to explain here.

The short version is that it's only bad to be a "nice guy" if that's a euphemism for wussy.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Re: Got it wrong

Originally posted by Bonhomme
You've got it wrong as to what a "DJ" is supposed to be.

You stole the words right out of my mouth! Why does everyone here seem to think a DJ must be some jerk that disrespects women?

 

[BigFoot]

is the big reason. I'll take a hunch that is he 6'+.

Swampwiz: no he is actually about 5'9" ! I am over 6' and I have NOWHERE near the attraction he has. As some have suggested, I have been watching him pretty closely now (and we talk all the time) and interestingly, when I asked him more about how he does it, he said, " I can't tell you my secrets!", but then he did tell me a few things he does.

 

[BigFoot]

You've got it wrong as to what a "DJ" is supposed to be.

I agree with you completely Bonhomme (on what a DJ should be)
But if you read alot of the discussion around here, it convey's a "wrong" impression of what a "DJ" should be and that's what I was referring to. You know, all the stuff about 'hor' this and that, and hold back your emotive/nice expressions to play hard to get. This guy is no wimp, no dependent type, not subservient yet still always trying to be nice, make people feel comfortable in a genuine way.

Another thing: he dresses well too. Not formal, rarely wears a tie or suit, but in a clean casual kind of way.

 

[Double]

Originally posted by Viking25
After 30 women do go for a nice guy! By then they became smarter and realized all the BS about "bad boy" type they were attracted when they were younger.
Plus they know that the guy was married ,so no fear of comitment in his character. Of course they will be attarcted to that!
Add to the equation his nice smile and their biological clock...

actually they dont get "smarter" but they often have no other options. unless maybe they look really good and have a lot to offer why should a badboy be so stupid and get married with children?can be only downhill from there

 

[xiola]

there are different types of DJ's out there fellows. Remember that

b

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

nice guy (in dj terms)= goes out of way to please any ***** that will give him a second of attention, plays friend role to get close to girl, sits by and watches her date other guys, is always available.

The guy described above doesn't fit that definition, but fits the mold of most men who are successful with women.