drmeathead
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2004
- Messages
- 490
- Reaction score
- 6
- Age
- 45
Let me start out by first saying i was brought to this board a few days ago by two things. First and foremost is that I lost the first girl in a long time that I thought was keeper material. I had no idea why I lost her. She gave me the fade out dump. (just stopped returning calls for no apprent reason. At the time it was illogical. After reading on here for a few days the light bulb has gone off. I see my mistakes. (I still think she has loose screws. I messed up but I did get done wrong.) The illogical has become logical. I have gotten the closure that I lost my dignity to keep. I am the first to admit I did some ill-advisded things in my attempts to win her back and/or get a logical reason for her dumping me. The other reason I m here is that I am on my a$$ for a good bit as I tore my ACL and had it reconstucted a few days ago. This all being said here is what I ave learned after putting in time in archives.
Girls like jerks. They do not like over sexed freaks. They do not like nice guys either. Nice guys have trouble talking to girls because they are trying to think the nice thing to say or the perfect way to do it. Jerks dont. They, according to Pook, have testosterone flowing and they just go with that flow. Personally I think all guys can talk with girls. They just have inhibitions that prevent them from doing so. Jerks control or limit their inhibitions. Freaks have no control (morals???) .
Looking introspectively, I have found my traits that have limited my success. Traits which may make me a great friend but limit me as a partner. These traits make me a nice guy and intrude on my thoughts and actions thus limiting my interactions with women. These are the traits that set me up to fail as my aforementioned dream girl was told my biggest flaw was that I was ...TOO NICE FOR MY OWN GOOD".
Eager to please
I like to do nice things for people. As a friend, I am great to have around. I take pleasure in seeing people made happy by my actions. If something I do puts a smile on your face it will put one on mine as well. I like to give complements. I like to help you out if I can.
Giving of this nature is truely a selfless act that comes from within. This giving is fine for friends but women have to earn it. My friends earn my niceness because in some way they have acted in a way to earn my complements. This wasnt obvious to me at first but it is now glaring. Females need to earn my complements, superficial sexual beauty is not alone a quality that inherrently deserves my gift from within.
All people are Inherently Good
Saying anything contrary to this makes you bitter and miserable. I disagree. I will go to extreme ends to make people feel good. (see above). There is a good portion of the population that will (and should?) allow you to do nice things for them and feel they owe you nothing. Others dont feel they have any obligation to consider your feelings.
Women have an inherrent desire to find the best possible sire for their offspring the best provider, the best protector, and so on. The only reason a guy doesnt get traded in for the next best thing to come around the corner is because she hasnt seen him come around the corner yet. (the trick is to make them think you are the best thing to come around the corner) Some Women dont ever feel they owe a guy loyalty early in a relationship. A few feel dont they dont owe them loyalty ever.
I am loyal to a fault.
This is tied into the above. I will trust someone to no end until they screw me. I believe in people till they prove otherwise.
With women, I think taking the opposite approach is best. Always wait for them to screw you over. Atlest until you hit the LTR stage where they tell you they love you. That is why it is best to have several women at your disposal. Until one choses to commit to you, you have no obligation to commit to them. With girls I liked (keepers not hookups) I wanted them to commit to me so I, in not so many words, commited to them. Instead of spending my time showing them I was the best thing to come around the corner, I tried to show them I was the most commited thing around.
I reveal my emotions.
Whether by talking too much or losing my temper I reveal my emotions too much. Like Pook says testoterone laden men dont have time for emotions. The are instinctively driven to act, directly. Emoting or temper tantrums are simply tactics that effectively allow you to spin your wheels.
Revealing emotions simply broadcasts that you are not comfortable with your inner self. Your actions are a result of the mind trying to alleivate its own inner discomfort. Change is great and all great things do need maintaince work but pick your spots. Women dont want a work in progress, they want the best thing out there. So save the self help sessions for when you tear your ACL and are out of the game for a few weeks.
This is just a partial list. I am sure others have traits or views on these traits that are good for us.
Girls like jerks. They do not like over sexed freaks. They do not like nice guys either. Nice guys have trouble talking to girls because they are trying to think the nice thing to say or the perfect way to do it. Jerks dont. They, according to Pook, have testosterone flowing and they just go with that flow. Personally I think all guys can talk with girls. They just have inhibitions that prevent them from doing so. Jerks control or limit their inhibitions. Freaks have no control (morals???) .
Looking introspectively, I have found my traits that have limited my success. Traits which may make me a great friend but limit me as a partner. These traits make me a nice guy and intrude on my thoughts and actions thus limiting my interactions with women. These are the traits that set me up to fail as my aforementioned dream girl was told my biggest flaw was that I was ...TOO NICE FOR MY OWN GOOD".
Eager to please
I like to do nice things for people. As a friend, I am great to have around. I take pleasure in seeing people made happy by my actions. If something I do puts a smile on your face it will put one on mine as well. I like to give complements. I like to help you out if I can.
Giving of this nature is truely a selfless act that comes from within. This giving is fine for friends but women have to earn it. My friends earn my niceness because in some way they have acted in a way to earn my complements. This wasnt obvious to me at first but it is now glaring. Females need to earn my complements, superficial sexual beauty is not alone a quality that inherrently deserves my gift from within.
All people are Inherently Good
Saying anything contrary to this makes you bitter and miserable. I disagree. I will go to extreme ends to make people feel good. (see above). There is a good portion of the population that will (and should?) allow you to do nice things for them and feel they owe you nothing. Others dont feel they have any obligation to consider your feelings.
Women have an inherrent desire to find the best possible sire for their offspring the best provider, the best protector, and so on. The only reason a guy doesnt get traded in for the next best thing to come around the corner is because she hasnt seen him come around the corner yet. (the trick is to make them think you are the best thing to come around the corner) Some Women dont ever feel they owe a guy loyalty early in a relationship. A few feel dont they dont owe them loyalty ever.
I am loyal to a fault.
This is tied into the above. I will trust someone to no end until they screw me. I believe in people till they prove otherwise.
With women, I think taking the opposite approach is best. Always wait for them to screw you over. Atlest until you hit the LTR stage where they tell you they love you. That is why it is best to have several women at your disposal. Until one choses to commit to you, you have no obligation to commit to them. With girls I liked (keepers not hookups) I wanted them to commit to me so I, in not so many words, commited to them. Instead of spending my time showing them I was the best thing to come around the corner, I tried to show them I was the most commited thing around.
I reveal my emotions.
Whether by talking too much or losing my temper I reveal my emotions too much. Like Pook says testoterone laden men dont have time for emotions. The are instinctively driven to act, directly. Emoting or temper tantrums are simply tactics that effectively allow you to spin your wheels.
Revealing emotions simply broadcasts that you are not comfortable with your inner self. Your actions are a result of the mind trying to alleivate its own inner discomfort. Change is great and all great things do need maintaince work but pick your spots. Women dont want a work in progress, they want the best thing out there. So save the self help sessions for when you tear your ACL and are out of the game for a few weeks.
This is just a partial list. I am sure others have traits or views on these traits that are good for us.
