nice guy problem. possible solutions

[mat350z1]

hi everyone im new here

anyway i come hear to seek wisdom from the wise on this forum

so here is my delema

about a month back i met this awesome girl at this bar/club that i occasionally go to, shes a year younger than me and a university student, where i am a college student. any way we hit it off and we had a good time till the bar/club closed. i got her number and we finally ended up meeting up a few days ago. but she was only free to hang out for a few hours, so i decided to take her to the mall.

i bought some stuff she didn't, whatever. and truthfully we had a great time i could tell she was having fun. but during the time we were at the mall she said i was a "nice guy". I noticed that she didn't seem as interested in me near the end of our day together as she did when i picked her up earlier that day. the worst part is that as i was dropping her off before she got out of the car i told her that i thought she was interesting and that i wanted to chill with her again. she said "you will". but i could tell at this point that she wasn't showing very much interest in me.

i know that i effed up because i was to much of a nice guy, i know this now. but my question is, if there is a way to get her to show interest in me after what i did.???

its funny because i actually kinda like this girls personality and wouldn't mind possibly starting a relationship with her!?!?!?

i was thinking about texting her next weekend. and i have come up with two possible things i could text her with

option 1

i could text her and ask her if should chill with her or these two other chicks i meet recently at my college. and the only reason i'm asking her to chill is because i like her personality better than there's

option 2

i could text her and ask her if she wants to chill with me because she passed the "nice guy" test???, which is a test where the first time i chill with a girl im nice to them to feel them out a little and find out more about them, and or see if there still willing to chill after the nice guy test?!?!?!

if these were to work and i got to chill with her, i thing i would act more of a "bad boy" around her.

i don't know i'm at a loss here.

what do you guys think?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Your time to close the deal would have been the first night that you hit it off with her.

I had a sales manager once who was adamant about the policy of "no call backs." Prospects would promise they'd buy if you would just come back tomorrow, but when you came back they acted completely different and would never buy. Their buying temperature had dropped. That's what happened with your girl. The second time you met, she was sober and you were no longer new and exciting.

Women use "nice" as a euphemism for 'boring.' (It's happened to me, too.) Think of it as constructive criticism that helps you with the next girl. Your chances with this girl are slim right now. Don't contact her for a few days. Then you can try to ask her to do something again. It doesn't have to be expensive, but make it something at least interesting. Boredom is the kiss of death.

 

[Purefilth]

dont ask her to 'chill' it screams I fear rejection from you if I act like a man and actually ask you out, so Ill say chill and act like a friend and then ill wonder why you friendzoned me!!!!!!!!!

Step 1. Call her.

Step 2. ASK HER OUT ON A DATE (make it something fun)

Step 3. Joke, laugh, escalate

Step 4. Make a move - BANG HER.

If she doesnt wanna go out on a date, or she flakes? NEXT

Be a man about it. Be direct, ask her out, Be FUN.

Dont be a pvssy and act like a friend - you will get dropped off that cliff into the "friendzone" AKA; - the unfvckables - very fvcking quickly and that = Game Over.

 

[irocknike23]

Can you explain just how much of a nice guy you were when you chilled with her? Exactly what did you do?


Based on that I will try and guess if you still have another shot with her.

Sometimes is salvageable, other times not, depending how "nice" you were.

There is only a few places and people you should be nice at and nice to and that is
1)Church(if you go to one)
2)Your mom
3)Your boss/Teacher


and thats about it...

besides girls, being nice is shown as a weakness and people will try to take advantage of you.

 

[mat350z1]

Bible_Belt: good point thanks for the advice.

Purefilth : thanks for pointing out that asking her to "chill" is a bad idea, i didn't realize that.

irocknike23: ok she was pretty much the center of attention. even though i was the one who wanted to go to the mall i insisted that she go look around her shops, i kept asking her what she wanted to do/go. i always opened the door for her, i even insisted that i pay for her coffee when we went for some coffee. i don't think i took the lead enough.

at this point im going to see if i can get her to go out next weekend and see what happens then.