Nice Guy Finished First... (reverse field report)

[iqqi]

This is such a personal detail, and I can already here the ifs, buts, & the ands...

But hopefully this will help one or two of you out.

Last night I slept with someone ugly.

That's right, fellow ugly sosuavers. UGLY. Not like swamp man, or anything... but not initially attractive to me at all!

I was turned on by his good deeds. He did some pretty AFC things (according to the definition here on this forum), and it landed me in his bed, and all of my friends adore him. OK, well the one friend who I talked about this with, adores him. But she is usually the harshest critic.

He has helped me out a lot after I ended my LTR, by helping me move out (and about, as I moved around a bit right after that), helping me get a job (didn't need one, but all of a sudden had too much time on my hands), and other random niceties, such as just getting me out of the house when I needed to get some air. We haven't really talked in awhile, as he has his own life, and we aren't best friends or anything like that.

Last night, I needed a ride somewhere because my car wouldn't start. I was supposed to meet some friends at... well, a big party... and it was in a town 30 minutes away. Nice Guy lives there. So I thought, what the hell, lets see what Nice Guy is doing. If he comes with me, I can introduce him to all these chicks I am about to meet up with.

When I called he sounded tired, but I did the girly thing which is "pleeease" and "I got all dressed up and now my car won't start..." and used some bribes "my friends are REAAALLY hot...", and after a half hour of deliberation on his part, he came and got me. His original plan was just to drop me off at the party, because I was going to sleep over at my girl's house, who also lives in that city. But I talked him into coming back, so he went home, got ready, and showed up towards the end.

He did some pretty AFC things at the party (at one point he even gave chick he used to date a $20 to go by a drink and go away ). But he also did some DJish things, like he didn't think twice about the AFC things he did - he didn't care what anyone thinks, because he doesn't spend any time on any internet boards trying to figure out if he should be a nice guy or an as$hole. He came and grabbed me up to dance at the end and when the party shut down...

I agreed to go with him, and not my girl.

Some points to make, hopefully to answer any sosuave questions that I can foresee:

1. No he didn't buy me a drink, lol. But he would've if I needed one. As a matter of fact, his ex he gave money to bought me one, lol. With his money! (As she proceeded to tell me how p!ssed she was).

2. I have always had a little crush on him, because of the way he holds himself (see... looks DON'T matter). He is quiet, funny, humble, sweet, and moral. And sexy...

3. DJ traits you'd all recognize: He can dance, really well.

4. If he is such a nice guy, iqqi, why are you just NOW giving him the time of day???
A. He doesn't lack women... which is a turn off. He actually has a "harem" (as me and friends who know him joke) of mostly ugly women.

B. He is a good friend of mine's brother. I might not answer my phone for a few months because of this! You aren't supposed to sleep with your good friends' siblings! That is like against the Code. This actually gives me extremely conflicted feelings!

C. He used to work for me and my ex. (Long story).

5. Yes, there were other men there who were totally hot, and who wanted to get to know the iq. (Options, in other words.)


So the point I have hoped to get across, is that not only is Nice Guy a nice guy, but he is also pretty damned unattractive (physically aka superficially). And he still got the girl. And the girl always had a small secret crush on him.

Discuss.

 

[ketostix]

OK first off, we're taking you on your word that he's "ugly". But the first problem is how do we know you're not unattractive yourself and the truely attractive guys get better than you? There's a lot of more holes in this story that I'm sure others can point out. I don't rally have the time right now.

 

[MacAvoy]

I don't understand. I'm totally lost, I always thought you were a guy. You posting this from a women's forum?

 

[MacAvoy]

Or are you giving your field report from her perspective? So you are saying you picked her up in a different town, 20 minutes away and still got laid in the end.

Why are you calling yourself ugly?

The only actual problem is see if that is the case, is that you wasted half an hour discussing the ride with her, you should have just said No and ended the conversation or went, not waste your time like that.

 

[iqqi]

OK first off, we're taking you on your word that he's "ugly". But the first problem is how do we know you're not unattractive yourself and the truely attractive guys get better than you? There's a lot of more holes in this story that I'm sure others can point out. I don't rally have the time right now.

I am not ugly, Keto, but thanks for your concern.

The Nice Guy hasn't really ever made a move on me because he felt I was out of his league. He thinks I should be a model (lol, I am barely 5 feet tall, so that is a joke). Anyways compared to the maxim airbrush standard here at sosuave, I am probably just a 7. Maybe just a 6, lol.

And ugly is in the eye of the beholder. Most people behold him as unattractive.

Thanks for using your time you don't have, to state irrelevant concerns.

I will look forward to more from you.

 

[iqqi]

Your friend(s) liked him, his ex was there, he has women after him, your brother likes him, he knows your ex, he's a good dancer and thus conveys sexuality well. This more than offsets buying drinks and a car ride.

I bet if your friend hated him, his ex wasn't there and avoided him like the plague, he had zero women after him and he couldn't dance, you wouldn't have bedded him that night.

MM

My friend didn't know him, or who he was, til afterwards, when I called her and apologized for dissing her for him.

His ex is ugly, not social proof at all.

He IS a good dancer, which DEFINATELY conveys sexuality, and is a big reason I have always been attracted to him.

 

[iqqi]

Well there you go then. But I still don't think he's a nice guy. He's got this little harem of mingers so he isn't Mr Faithful even if they are ugly and he only drove you there so he could try and get laid with you or one of those 'hot girls' you mentioned. If he's flaunting money then that's a form of displaying wealth. Then the dancing thing got you wet for him. Nice usually translates to poorly conveying sexuality and not escalating. He seems to be good at that, whether it's with his ugly ex, ugly girls on the side or yourself.

MM

I was waiting for someone to mistake him as "flaunting" money. Actually, he is kind of broke. I don't know why he gave that chick money, lol! I thought he was crazy! But he did it because he is a nice guy. AND of course he wanted her to go away. I asked him why he gave her money like that, and he said that he was really surprised she asked like that, and usually SHE buys him drinks, so he just didn't think twice.

And as for him just trying to get laid by me or one of my girls, yeah duh. BUT he wasn't even going to come to the party at all.

I also know he isn't Mr Faithful, thus why I am not really considering him as a potential anything. However, he is not dishonest about his ways of being. We had a discussion about marriage, and I told him that marriage wasn't for everyone. And that he should consider a life without one, if he didn't think he could be faithful.

Having women does not make you a Bad Boy, lol. Nice Guys do have women. You all are just buying into a myth here at sosuave for the most part.

 

[Interceptor]

I can't believe you ignored MY "Salsa Night" for Mr. Ugly!
Shame on you, girl!













:crackup:

 

[iqqi]

And he isn't a nice guy. If he readily accepted driving you without needing convincing, bought you drinks directly to appease you, had no ex or women to speak of or in view and didn't 'dare' to dance, then yes, he could be a nice guy.

Hmm, interesting definition of what you think a nice guy is. Really you described other things.

 

[st_99]

Ok, so what. He got laid, big deal.

You said now you cant pick up your phone for months or whatever and you call him ugly.

He's still finishing last apparently.

If nice guy finished first like your title states, then you would be thinking "I can't wail till I scew this guy again."

Sounds like a sympathy lay.

 

[cordoncordon]

Glad you got some Iq.

 

[armadon]

If it doesn't go anywhere then who cares. You should let us know if it actually turns into something or if it was a pity ****.

 

[Phyzzle]

Damn, MadManic, you have been posting a lot here, but you're 20 years old.

Anyway, there was nothing AFC about that night. Helping you move . . . maybe a bit. Sounds like a decent, confident guy, though.

Hey Iqqi, if someone comes to this board, saying "how do I attract my female friend?" What would you suggest? I've always thought this article was great:
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/escaping.htm
And I think you'd agree.

 

[STR8UP]

Having women does not make you a Bad Boy, lol. Nice Guys do have women. You all are just buying into a myth here at sosuave for the most part.

Yea yea, nice guys finish first, all the info on this board is BS, anyone who might discuss these sorts of topics online are losers.....

You have successfully dispelled all of the myths that are running rampant on sosuave. Your job is done, so go find another board to troll.

 

[iqqi]

Damn, MadManic, you have been posting a lot here, but you're 20 years old.

And aint it obvious, lol.

Anyway, there was nothing AFC about that night. Helping you move . . . maybe a bit. Sounds like a decent, confident guy, though.

Yes, I agree. Hense I put "afc" in quotations. I don't think nice guys are AFC. And I disagree with the people who think nice = chump, or insecure, or losers or door mats.

To me, nice = respectful, courteious, considerate.

Helping me move and giving me rides was nice. Getting me out of the house, when I had pretty much annihilated my current circle of friends, was nice. There were more nice things that he did. Of course a lot of him being so nice had to do with the fact that me and his sister are good friends, and that him and I had a working relationship.

But behind his niceness, I could see that there were no strings attached, i.e. he didn't think he'd be getting "repaid" with attention or sex. So that made him, genuinely nice!

Not only that, but I've seen him interact with many other people, so the other positive attributes I described is not some show, it is how he is with men, women, ugly, cute, young, old people. He is a really humble, down to earth, genuinely NICE individual.

Lol at how some of you think nice = loser. It isn't the truth. I will go a little more into this in a moment.

Hey Iqqi, if someone comes to this board, saying "how do I attract my female friend?" What would you suggest? I've always thought this article was great:
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/escaping.htm
And I think you'd agree.

Well, when I saw that it was by Mr. Fingers, I agreed before I even read it. Lol. You have to understand that Fingz is way above most people here at sosuave. He understands that the rules aren't really rules, and that most preconceptions here are silly.

A lot of what he writes comes across as paint by numbers for AFCs. You will notice in a lot of his advice that he doesn't buy into the mentality that runs rampant on these boards.

Fingz is a natural.

 

[iqqi]

Yea yea, nice guys finish first, all the info on this board is BS, anyone who might discuss these sorts of topics online are losers.....

I don't think all the info on here is BS, and I don't think anyone who might discuss these sorts of topics online are losers.

Way to get all extemist on me, lol!!!

I do think a lot of people here who refuse to believe that all women AREN'T idiots, are themselves losers.

There is definately a lot of BS here, though.

You have successfully dispelled all of the myths that are running rampant on sosuave. Your job is done, so go find another board to troll.

I am surprised at your acidity. Especially when you personally already know that ugly guys still get the girls (one point of my thread).

 

[iqqi]

Ok, so what. He got laid, big deal.

You said now you cant pick up your phone for months or whatever and you call him ugly.

He's still finishing last apparently.

You are taking a lot of what I said out of context, and cutting and pasting things that don't go together in your head. For instance, me not picking up the phone + him being ugly = nothing to do with each other.

I have mixed feeling towards him MOSTLY because HE IS MY GOOD FRIEND'S BROTHER. Twin brother, at that. !!! There are a few more reasons, that I already wrote, in a clear and easy to read manner.

If nice guy finished first like your title states, then you would be thinking "I can't wail till I scew this guy again."

Sounds like a sympathy lay.

Lol. Yeah, sure. By the way, I never said that I wasn't thinking that. I've always had a little thing for this guy... as I already stated.

 

[Tazman]

Was this post directed at certain people in the mature forum?

After all the countless discussions about the definition of "nice" guys, how attraction plays it's role in sex dynamics and all the real world experiences guys on this board have gone through, this is supposed to enlighten who exactly?

he didn't care what anyone thinks, because he doesn't spend any time on any internet boards trying to figure out if he should be a nice guy or an as$hole.

Was this intended for the guys in the highschool forum?

BTW, "nice" doesn't describe a man's character, it's a "strategy".

 

[ketostix]

He actually has a "harem" (as me and friends who know him joke) of mostly ugly women.

There you go. He gets ugly women. No one here ever says you can't get ugly women if you're not attractive if you have other qualities. We say a guy has to be attractive to get attractive girls. Getting ugly girls or getting you iqqi, doesn't disprove this point. Case closed.

 

[iqqi]

Was this post directed at certain people in the mature forum?

No.

After all the countless discussions about the definition of "nice" guys, how attraction plays it's role in sex dynamics and all the real world experiences guys on this board have gone through, this is supposed to enlighten who exactly?

The people who think nice = no booty

Was this intended for the guys in the highschool forum?

no.

BTW, "nice" doesn't describe a man's character, it's a "strategy".

I disagree.

What's your "strategy"? And how does it differ from your "character"?