Nexting and Texting

[Crow]

I'm having a texting bind. Two of my plates seem obsessed with it.

The HB11 (who is far away) that remissioned me into AFCness keeps pinging me with texts every week or so. Last time she did was about ten days ago and I responded right away only to get a message just today totally ignoring my last message. They're very open and asking questions. I feel rude to ignore them, but think that responding is undermining the long term prospects.

Another plate who is closer keeps texting me and when I call her back, she doesn't answer the phone. Instead, she'll text me some ??? texts or something equally nothing. I'm probably just going to send her a text asking if her phone is broken or something.

 

[amoka]

Don't play with their ego. Stop the texting...

 

[old married dude]

Maybe it's just because I'm old, but I find texting annoying as hell.

I have my netbook & 3G network card with me at all times, so I just IM people or call them.

If it were me, I'd call them & if they don't answer i'd leave a message something like "These little texting games are getting old, if you really want to talk then call back, but knock it off with the silly texts."

 

[vitor]

I text occionally but usally because my women friends want to talk and im too lazy to care and carry a coversation with them.

A simple hey good looking how is your day going, I will see you soon, or here is my address are all good things to say.

I never confirm dates over text

 

[zekko]

Maybe it's just because I'm old, but I find texting annoying as hell.

I'm quite a bit older than you. I like texting if I'm in the mood. If I'm not I won't respond or will only respond intermittently. The main reason I like texting is I hate talking on the telephone. Dear God, I hate telephones. People will just rattle on and on if you let them.

 

[Crow]

I'm quite a bit older than you. I like texting if I'm in the mood. If I'm not I won't respond or will only respond intermittently. The main reason I like texting is I hate talking on the telephone. Dear God, I hate telephones. People will just rattle on and on if you let them.

That's funny. I hate the phone too, but mostly because I'm afraid that people will want me to hold the conversation.

With HB11, I got into her in my last thread, it's hard to figure out what to do. Clearly, I don't want to text her back. I should probably call, but how can a conversation help extend interest for a long period of time? And with the ever-present risk of remission, how do I steer things so she become more interested over time?

 

[Crow]

I am so stupid..... I called HB11 and now feel sick. She really knows how to do my head in.

 

[jophil28]

The HB11 (who is far away) that remissioned me into AFCness keeps pinging me with texts every week or so. Last time she did was about ten days ago and I responded right away only to get a message just today totally ignoring my last message.
.

Women love txting because it is reassuring to them that they are still connected to the recipient. This allays their fears of aloneness and separation.
Crow has been drawn into the ole female game of "talk to me", but that woman is doing it in the laziest way possible . Texting gives women another method of having a connection with a man without any effort, or without any real contibution or reciprocity on her part. She gets attention without even having to crawl out of bed into the shower.

IN the example above, the sender (HB11) got what she wanted - male attention and reassurance - and she got it for free.

 

[jophil28]

I am so stupid..... I called HB11 and now feel sick. She really knows how to do my head in.

Why do you feel sick ?

Do you mean disgusted with yourself for running after a hot woman because you feared that if you did not cement your relationship with her by calling , you risked losing whatever you had with her?

Panic never feels good .

 

[Crow]

I'm pretty good generally, but this time too good. She told me things that she thought I wanted to hear, but they actually just started disrupting the illusions I had been creating. It left me feeling nauseous.

 

[Zunder]

I find talking to women using whatever medium - rather boring. Don't they realise that all I care about is the honeypot between their legs? Do they think I really give a fvck that they volunteered to save the whales one summer?

 

[Crow]

If only inexperience were my excuse. I seriously think I might be bpd. Plate 1 was on ice for near two weeks. She reached out to me and then seeing my disattachment really tried to pull me in. The problem is two fold. One, I can't deal with distance and two, one of the things she told me was a total turn off.

The other is almost a perfect plate. She just is phone averse. Most of our interaction is arranging to meet and ****ing.

 

[jophil28]

You aren't stupid. This is how you learn.

Here is how it works: Young, hot women are nothing more than eye candy. Their entire sense of self worth is determined by how much attention she is getting and from how many men. This becomes her value; a legion of followers willing to lift heavy things, help her move, fix her car, borrow her money, give her attention when she is lonely, someone to listen to her biitch about the current thug that is pumping and dumping her, etc. However shallow and fragile, this her greatest power and also her greatest weakness.

Her focus in life is to grow the number of admirers and maximize each males level of admiration. Like a male who works to grows a diversified portforlio of investments.

She will manage/manipulate her 'portfolio' of men using mind games. When she hasn't heard from an orbitor for a while, her fragile ego is dinged and she sends out a 'hot' signal. You immediately jump to attention and then she goes cold again and focuses on the next male since she is again secure knowing you haven't left. If you don't fall for the 'hot' signal, she will then send out a hotter signal.

Level Signal
1 "hey, what's up"
2 Right after bar close "hey, where are you? Are you home yet?"
3 "wow, have you seen the previews for ???? movie?"
4 "I'm just dying to see that movie. I wish I had someone to go with."
5 "I'm so horny and sexually frustrated"
6 sends picture of her cleavage saying "what do you think?"
7 and so on. You get the point.

They dangle the bait in front of you and see if you lunge for it. Lower value always chases the higher value. And the lower the level of bait and the eagerness of your reaction indicates to the woman if you are higher or lower value than she is.

The frame of control with these two women is compromised. You won't be able to turn it around. They already know you are an AFC. Instead, you need to delete all their information and never contact them again. You won't, but you will think back on this advice in 5 years and wish you had.

This ^^^ is exactly how a lot of hot women operate .
In spite of their blatant self centeredness, there are still legions of horny guys who will volunteer to join these women's fanclubs in the foolish belief that THEY will be the guy who wins.

 

[Crow]

I'm already the winner. Except when I myself set myself up for failure. It's funny how we are our own worst enemy.

 

[Sandow]

Exactly what DonS said.

That girl (hb11) is showing very low IL. I would go no contact for awhile on this one and get the frame back.

Btw, there are no HB 10's or higher. By telling yourself someone is a HB11 you're already seeing her as the prize (subconsciously or not), no matter how alpha you think you are.

 

[Crow]

Exactly what DonS said.

That girl (hb11) is showing very low IL. I would go no contact for awhile on this one and get the frame back.

Btw, there are no HB 10's or higher. By telling yourself someone is a HB11 you're already seeing her as the prize (subconsciously or not), no matter how alpha you think you are.

I keep going no contact and she comes back. Its clearly her trying to hold the frame. I need to keep a clear head and have a buddy to slap me hard if I let her take it. The situation is coming round my way, but unfortunately it's not going to be what I want it to be because I created these unrealistic scenarios, ie. seeing her as the prize. Coming back to reality is what made me feel ill.

 

[squirrels]

Stop creating drama for yourself.

 

[Crow]

You guys are right. It's unnecessary drama. Even without the help of a few good slaps, this thing is 99% behind me.


Unfortunately, I was sabotaged last night by an unknowing party at dinner. She emailed them saying we were together and thinking of her, which was almost wholly unprovoked. I got a text a few minutes later, saying, to effect, that she wished she were with us and not where she is doing what she is doing. Would it be rude to just ignore it? Does it matter if I'm rude (if I'm not burning bridges)?

This matter is a little kinked and outside opinions really help me a lot in discerning what the objective situation really might be.

 

[horaholic]

dont answer any text that does not push your progress forward with her.

 

[Crow]

Thanks horaholic. Problem is, I don't know what's moving forward, because she has already promised me as much as she will if I go to Europe for this thing in January.