Next Step - I'm not sleeping with you ...

[Frankie12346]

32m - landed new managerial job a few months ago. Current boss is 47f married but we are on the same managerial level. Nobody above us. Small talk and little flirting within the first month but thought she was very reserved. Reputation is church going, family orientated, well respected in our business community. We work in our large metro city. 2 months in, we go out to grab a bite to eat and have a beer. Fun conversation but nothing crazy. Flirting continues through out the next month. Go out to a business function and we decide to go out for a drink afterwards. She gets pretty drunk and tells me that she's had an affair with the last time being 8 months ago. Pretty blown away, didn't see that coming. Ok the game has changed. Trust me, her condition that night was not the right time. Way too sloppy.
Have the Monday morning conversation - she's embarrassed, hope she still respects me, blah blah, blah.
Flirting continues for the next few weeks. Another business function comes up and we briefly talk about having drinks after. Ok, figure this is the night - right?

Drinks start, sexual talks start (history, etc), then she lays the typical - "you know I'm not going to have sex with you". Act like I didn't hear it and continue my game. She says it two more times. Trust me, I've been there a million times and know what it means. However, she's getting texts from her husband every 10 minutes and tells me that she has to leave soon. In hindsight, could I have pushed harder - maybe. But again, seemed like the wrong time. She switches over to water since she has a 30 minute drive. She also jokingly says something about being young and dumb - not sure in reference to this or some of my stories about partying with my boys.

Go to the bathroom and figured - I blew it. She's driving me back to my car about 10 minutes away. Again, figured it's over but she's says she gets nervous being around this area with me since she knows a lot of people and we need to find a new place to hang in the future.
Mixed messages - yes.

Since we work together, we've been texting through out weekend. 80% work, 20% other.
I asked if she got in trouble with her husband and she text - told him I was shopping

Went out last night with my boys and she texts me about work stuff again (this is not unusual - work is 24 hrs), replied back with "need to check when I get home, out drinking with friends". Get a response of "have fun and be a good boy"
Meeting early tomorrow with her for work related stuff.
Also have huge business event in 2 weeks in a hotel. Yes, possibilities are there.

Don't want to get in a conversation about her marriage or this being a coworker - I know all about it.

BUT did I blow it? Did I increase the interest?
Next step?

 

[Tictac]

A married woman that you work with.

What could possibly go wrong?

Are you really this desperate?

 

[Frankie12346]

No, take that out the equation.

 

[Tictac]

No, take that out the equation.

You are that desperate or you wouldn't even be thinking about this.

You have no other options, so you are chasing ("we've been texting throughout the weekend") a married woman that you work with.

 

[snowandotherjoys]

Pick better candidates... don't go fishing off the company pier.

 

[sodbuster]

your BOSS? 15 years OLDER? you may as well cut your d1ck off.... You have NO common sense, no other options so you want to tap an old one? Who just happens to be your boss? I'd call that a serious lack of options....

 

[dude99]

I see a huge HR disaster in your near future.

 

[Cejay]

What Dude99 said + (as you indicated) She has a reputation as a church going "good girl." She has history on the job, she's a she, and you're new.

So if it comes down to her vs you in front of HR (probably mostly women), guess who's getting his walking papers...

I'd avoid this at all costs and shop elsewhere.

CJ.

 

[logicallefty]

She wants to sleep with you but she wants you to push it on her a little bit so if/when she regrets it the next day and/or her hubby finds out, her hamster brain will be able to completely blame you 110%. Do as other guys said, run Forest run...

 

[Bible_Belt]

Also have huge business event in 2 weeks in a hotel.

"you know I'm not going to have sex with you...tonight....because we are in a hotel together in two weeks and it will be much easier to get away with if I wait until then. Obviously, my husband knows I'm a cheating wh0re, which is why he's blowing up my phone right now."

 

[MrWiggles]

you're 32 and she is 47??? I guess if you have one of those older fetish things

 

[EyeBRollin]

Your 15 year older married boss.

You have to do better than this, bud.

 

[MatureDJ]

An older woman is in no way worth putting up with being hard-to-get. You must be very hard up for poon.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

**** her, make work awkward, possibly **** up her marriage. It will be pretty educational for you... In a messy selfish ego-battering kind of way.
Seriously though, older and married. Flatter her, keep up the interest, flirt, make her feel sexy and it is a done deal. Big deal.

OR you could listen to the advice of people who have been there before you.

 

[Frankie12346]

So how different is the game with this one?
You say flatter and keep interest - sort of the opposite with the others?

 

[Tictac]

So how different is the game with this one?
You say flatter and keep interest - sort of the opposite with the others?

1. She's married.
2. They work in the same place
3. She's his boss.

I think that @daddymonsterpoodle is counseling good career strategy not dating advice.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

So how different is the game with this one?
You say flatter and keep interest - sort of the opposite with the others?

If you want advice on how to **** her that's how. The rest of the post was about the consequences of doing that. Pretty much everyone on here has said that's a bad idea but I figure that the OP isn't paying much attention to that so he may as well go for it and find out the hard way.

 

[sodbuster]

yeah, he may as well blow up his life over old, married "tang"

 

[BlueAlpha1]

1. She's married.
2. They work in the same place
3. She's his boss.

I think that @daddymonsterpoodle is counseling good career strategy not dating advice.

Have to admit, TicTac is right. Married broads are one degree of stupidity. Married broads you work with is tantamount to personal AND professional suicide. I know because I did it. It turned into 4 years of pure, unadulterated hell with a sexy psychopath (who was 7 years older.)

OP, this is a disaster and depending upon how long it goes, it could be one of the worst mistakes of your life. We all have a certain number of tragedies and regrets we will look back on later in life. And meeting this "person" was the 3rd most traumatic experience of my life so far, just behind family deaths

But you're clearly going to go for it and not interested in the STOP signs. I suppose I understand. It is hard to resist batty eyelashes and a feminine voice, even if it's coming from a demon, which is what you're dealing with. Married women who cheat are the lowest vermin imaginable.