Next her or what?

[easun]

Well, I guess you could consider me a guy with good inner game but poor outer game. Unfortunately, my outer game needs some tweaking. Anyway, my gut instinct with this girl is to just forget her. But this is what I've usually done. And I've never had a girlfriend before. So here's the story.

My sister set up this group date thing with me and her friend. Let's call her Britney. So my sister gave me Britney's number. I talked with Britney for like 5 minutes 2 different times before the date for some rapport and to set the date up. She always answered and returned my calls.

Day of the date. Things went ok. Britney was honestly a little heavier than I expected - maybe 15-20lbs over optimal. I'm quite the sports guy, like 9% body fat and a good amount of muscle. So I'm kind of picky, and I wasn't entirely physically attracted to her. She may have felt awkward too, being "fatter" than me. BUT she is a good looking girl nonetheless.

Long story short. The date was just 'ok' and didn't end in a kiss, but I thought, well, I might actually be interested in her. She's a good girl, has lots of things going for her. At least better than a lot of girls I have met recently.

So I called her 3 days later and left a message asking her to call me back that night. She didn't call back but instead I receive a text message from her:

"Hey, I got your message. Sorry I didn't call back. I've been really busy, and I have a study group right now. What's up?"

I'm thinking, great. This sounds like an interest level drop to me. I reply back 6 hours later at 2am:

"Well I was going to ask you out."

I know this statement sounds AFC. I didn't realize it until later. What I was intending to say is that I was going to ask her out but since she didn't call, it was too late (my time is scarce... which it is). Didn't receive a reply by noon later, so I write:

"Forget it Britney"

I was just writing what I felt. I have low tolerance for BS. This statement here obviously set off some emotions as she wrote back really sorry:

"Hey, I am really sorry. I have honestly been really busy. I got your message when I was sleeping and have been in classes all morning. I didn't mean to make you mad. I'm sorry if I did."

I didn't reply. It just sounds like yet another downward spiral into nothing. It's at this point I usually just forget it and NEXT her. Am I right with this? What is the way of the DJ?

 

[DarthNihilus]

Well you fvcked up but she apologized.

Next her for now but give her another chance if she suddenly messages you with some kind of agreement to being your girl or some kind of date counter offer type of thing to make up for her ignoring of you.

Also go watch the movie Swingers so you don't fvck up even worse with a chick next time.

The main scene in that movie that is referenced on forums like this is where a guy has a nice date with some chick then gives her a call, and she doesn't answer but her answering machine records the message.

He starts getting paranoid in AFC fashion and continues to message her that night until she reveals she'd been there all along just listening to his messages on her machine and she then told him never to call her again.

So yeah don't be pestering a chick.

Give her a few days to respond next time.

 

[Scars]

For a guy with such "good inner game but poor outer game" you really don't know how to handle your cool do you? It looks like you have the two confused my friend. There's quite a few mistakes you made.

- Asking her out after ONE date. In an AFC way, over text.
- You didn't even kiss her on the date, yet you're ready to ask her to be your full-time girlfriend?
- Getting mad at her for being busy. And then getting even more mad telling her to "forget it", exposing even more of your insecurity.

Honestly, I would just next her. It's going to take some serious damage control to fix this. But even if you were to fix this, it still wouldn't matter unless you were to fix yourself FIRST. Which is what you ultimately need to do. You have some anger issues you need to work out. You can't get mad at the girl for being busy, she has a life too.

Solution: Work on yourself and spin some more plates. There's a chance she may come back later on, but you even said yourself you weren't even physically attracted to her at first. The attraction right now is only temporary. You felt superior to her because she was bigger, you probably got an ego and that was your down fall. It's just the fact that she went from high interest to low interest almost seemingly overnight and it makes you wonder "What did I do wrong?", it's fvcking with your head. Don't worry though, it's only temporary. Ditch the fatty and find a new, better, even HOTTER plate.

 

[easun]

Just a couple clarifications:

- I never asked her out over text. I called her. She asked why I called over text. I said I was *going* to ask her out.

- I don't want her to be my girlfriend. I merely called for a second date.

- I didn't lose my cool or get mad at her. I told her to forget it. Forget the situation. That's it.

 

[Scars]

Just a couple clarifications:

- I never asked her out over text. I called her. She asked why I called over text. I said I was *going* to ask her out.

- I don't want her to be my girlfriend. I merely called for a second date.

- I didn't lose my cool or get mad at her. I told her to forget it. Forget the situation. That's it.

Why GOING? It seemed like you were pretty content on your decision at the time. After the girl didn't reply, all the sudden it changed? Sounds like you lost your cool to me. A man should know what he wants, your bouncing back and forth like a rubber ball, which could account for her sudden lack of interest as well. This was more than likely a sh!t test, which you failed. You couldn't handle her being busy or not writing back right away. You let your emotions get the best of you, just like a woman would. This is not the characteristic of a man.

 

[easun]

Nope. There was an event I wanted to take her to. It was too late to ask later. Needed to make plans. That's why I said I wanted to talk to her that night. It's too late now.