"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Newly getting into all of this

raptor967

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Hey DJ's and fellow DJ's-in-progress,

I've been lurking on these forums for a couple of weeks now, but I just joined up today, since simply reading these forums is not useful in bettering my 'game'.

So, a little bit about myself, I'm a first year student in the University of California, Berkeley, studying engineering. I'd say I'm an AFC (although that should change shortly), but my luck with girls hasn't been horrible at all (although I want it to be much better!).

As a poor college student, I'm not really in the whole nightclub/bar scene, but I do frequent frat parties pretty much every weekend; meaning that pretty much all of my questions will be about 'frat party game'.

Since I've read such great posts by tons of members, offering help and guidance, I decided to post my situation and see what you guys make of it...

So early last semester, I met this girl kinda randomly with a couple of my friends. There was no instant attraction/openers/etc. just cause I was just hanging out and chillin' with my friends. Fast forward a few months - I see this girl in this frat, and we start dancing. Now, it starts to heat up, and we make out and stuff on the dance floor.

So as we leave, like the drunk AFC that I am (was), we leave hand in hand to take a walk. So we effing walk around campus for like hours, just talking. I finally drop her off at her building, and we exchange numbers. I take her out on a date a week later, but she acts pretty awkwardly (she's never had a BF, so I'm assuming this awkwardness is directly correlated).

So in this time span, we've been texting and chatting randomly numerous times per week. She texts me a couple of days after the date saying, "I'm not really looking for a relationship right now...", so I pretty much NEXT her. Ironically, this girl goes into a relationship like 2 days later with some other guy. Whatever.

Fast forward to now. In this time, I've just been friendly to her, just talking randomly, although I never initiate conversations. She's always really flirty and whatnot (which I mostly reciprocate), and a couple of days ago, she just broke up with her boyfriend, which I find out when she texts me and goes, "yes! finally I'm free".

Still, I've pretty much nexted her, although I've always kept my eyes open for like a FWB type situation. So last night, I get back from a really lame party, pretty damn buzzed, when I get a text from this girl at like 1:30, when I'm back in my dorm (like I said, lame party). She asks me if I'm drunk, and whether she can come over (before this, we've never expressed any interest in going over to each other's places).

Unfortunately, my roomie was asleep and he had to leave early in the morning, so I didn't have the heart to kick him out at 1:45 in the morning. I texted her back saying that my room was busy, and that I would just come over to her place.

Long story short, I head over there at 2, but there were a ton of people awake and rambunctious in her room. Needless to say, I ejected for lack of a better option, and just texted her on my way back about how I was disappointed that she'd failed ;)
She replies back saying, well, what would we have done in your room? Again, I was like...I dunno, I'm sure we would have figured something out ;)
Final text of the night - fail, you disappoint me <raptor967>. I was looking forward to having fun with you :p

I don't even understand this situation. Sorry for the IMMENSELY long text block. It's just an intricately woven story web.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Captain

Master Don Juan
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You probably missed your best opportunity on the night you walked around campus.

She was possibly nervous meeting you because she would assume that she doesn't really know you, as you were both drunk when you met. If she hasn't had a boyfriend, that could be another partial reason.

I doubt she has never had a boyfriend, since she kissed you on the dance floor when you met.

Good on you for not kicking your roommate out.

If she says something like "i'm not looking for a relationship now", she isn't interested in you (at that point in time.)

You probably could have gone out somewhere to hook up with her on that night (when you went over to her room.)
 
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