"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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NewGuy - What is the definitive view on Workplace hookup

Jtech

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I have a lot of mixed reviews on trying to hookup at work. There are a lot of attractive ladies at my job. I know that some of them are giving me signals. The reasons that I have not responded is

1. Fear
2. If I mess up, I would have to see this person everyday.

Does anybody have any experience with this, or should I just forget about it?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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KontrollerX

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I don't think there is a definitive view on this here but even outside of Sosuave in AFC Oprah/Dr. Phil Matrix land the phrase "Don't sh!t where you eat" carries a whole lot of weight.

My view on this is it all depends on what this job is to you...

Meaning...

If its a job that you've worked your entire life to get into via lots of schooling and it pays the bills and puts food on your table and keeps you rolling in money and a decent quality of life ie is basically your method of survival in life absolutely do not dip your pen in the company ink and risk losing your job or your sanity when and if things go south.

If its just a part time job or a job you can easily quit at any time and get a new similar one somewhere else and it doesn't mean a whole lot to you to keep go ahead and persue all the women who are willing to be persued at that job, fvck as many of them as you can for as long as you can, live it up, fvck them on the copying machine after hours if you get the chance, go wild, it doesn't matter because if things go wrong in this scenario you can easily quit and find another job.

Anyway man hope this helps.
 

reset

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They are good for practice. The key thing is: if you broke up with a chick and neither of you got along... would it be in your best interest to see her every single day?

When things go wrong guys say "NEXT!" and guys say "NEXT!".... but the chick's STILL THERE! Sure you nexted but the relationship can't end like it should have. So it's more difficult to move on when you're at work 8 hours a day, and the girl you pissed off keeps going by your desk giving you dirty looks or flirting with the guys sitting next to you trying to make you jealous.

That sucks. Then you think "why the fvck did I even do this".

Not to say you can't have a great relationship. It happens. The fact that I haven't experienced it says more about my own control of the situation.

But, girls at work? How could you not be tempted. Anyone who just says "oh forget them"... that's hard to do. They're there every day.
 

Volpez

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Bad idea if you are their boss too, been there done that. Was fun, now she does not work there anymore.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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romangod

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Jtech said:
Does anybody have any experience with this, or should I just forget about it?

I have experience with this and I suggest you forget it. You're asking for trouble.
 

AmIAFC

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It's not worth it, especially when you start to develop feelings.

I've been there, and this girl had no problem trying to get me jealous by flirting with other men as they walk past my office every day. You think you can get over that **** quickly, but it doesn't work out that way. You can't really focus on your work, you get hot under the collar as you have to put up with her presence/games, and your mind will start to wander as to what/who she's doing at the moment (and in whose office).

I tried to treat her like any one of the employees, but whenever I did so, she'd bring up past stuff that happened between us, and make it personal. The next day, she'd go cold on me and not even behave in a friendly, professional manner.

She was hot, funny, and a great lay, but I would never have bothered to even look at her had I know the **** I was going to endure at work (for 2 additional years) as a result of getting with her. It was a living hell.

The day she told me she was leaving the company was the one of the happiest moments of my professional life.

My advice: Focus on your work.
 

Jtech

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AmIAFC said:
It's not worth it, especially when you start to develop feelings.

I've been there, and this girl had no problem trying to get me jealous by flirting with other men as they walk past my office every day. You think you can get over that **** quickly, but it doesn't work out that way. You can't really focus on your work, you get hot under the collar as you have to put up with her presence/games, and your mind will start to wander as to what/who she's doing at the moment (and in whose office).

I tried to treat her like any one of the employees, but whenever I did so, she'd bring up past stuff that happened between us, and make it personal. The next day, she'd go cold on me and not even behave in a friendly, professional manner.

She was hot, funny, and a great lay, but I would never have bothered to even look at her had I know the **** I was going to endure at work (for 2 additional years) as a result of getting with her. It was a living hell.

The day she told me she was leaving the company was the one of the happiest moments of my professional life.

My advice: Focus on your work.
Sheesh that sounds like hell.
 
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