Hi, everyone. This is my first post and I'm a total novice at social skills etc. So any advice or help would be much appreciated.
There is a woman in work who joined us last December, well in June myself and her had to work together on our own. Well we started to get on really well, our interactions were playful and fun,and another colleague had noticed this as well. Anyway, a week or so later she asked if I wanted to go with her for a walk to some waterfall trail on the following weekend. On the walk,I was very much in my head and started to doubt why she had asked me along. This created a tension in Me,and I then started to take everything as a negative cue of her rejecting me. This just put me more up in my head. I put myself off trying to escalate the interaction between us,as I felt it was wrong time,but this just added to tension. In my mind I started thinking that she was not interested and that this was the reason nothing was happening. I couldn't see that it was probably my self doubt causing a lot. At about halfway through the trail, I was stressing over the lack of any positive signs,so I decided to gamble. I totally seemed to take her by suprise,as I turned to her and told her that there was something I'd wanted to do for a while,and that was to kiss her. Well,she didn't hear what I said at first,which I perceived as rejection,so I then repeated and went to kiss her. I was so in my head and concerned about the negative cues I had picked up on,that I ended up just kissing her cheek. I felt like a total dweeb. Although she wasn't offended,I think I really freaked her out. We never spoke about it on the rest of the walk.
We had also booked tickets to see a comedy show,however that wasn't for another couple of weeks. But after the waterfall experience,I didn't think she would want to come. I spoke to her the week before the show and asked if she still wanted to come and she said 'yes of course'. This really surprised me. However, a few days later the show got cancelled due to covid.
It's just been confusing the whole situation. She had to go back up to our main site the week after our walk. So we haven't had any of that close contact and it's like how we were previously has just disappeared. I have only spoken to her on phone in work. We always have good interactions,but I now still doubt everything. Last week,another colleague who didn't know anything about me and her, mentioned that he thought she had a soft spot for me. He said he had noticed how she responded or reacted when my name was mentioned or I appeared on screen or phone during meetings in work. I played it down. But it's just added to confusion. I'm trying to distance myself from thinking about it.
As of last week, I was back up the same site as her. Again we get on really well when interacting,but there are always other team members about and I feel she has to put her guard up. I just doubt why she asked me to go on walk with her,and agree to go to see show together. I also feel I've totally freaked her out with my attempt to kiss her. Im trying to keep my space as much as I can in work. But we still interact, and when I talk to her I still feel there maybe a connection. It's just that she then pulls back a little. Don't know whether that's because of it being work and her trying to be professional. When the show got cancelled and with the attempted kiss,I feel like there is nothing there now.
There is a woman in work who joined us last December, well in June myself and her had to work together on our own. Well we started to get on really well, our interactions were playful and fun,and another colleague had noticed this as well. Anyway, a week or so later she asked if I wanted to go with her for a walk to some waterfall trail on the following weekend. On the walk,I was very much in my head and started to doubt why she had asked me along. This created a tension in Me,and I then started to take everything as a negative cue of her rejecting me. This just put me more up in my head. I put myself off trying to escalate the interaction between us,as I felt it was wrong time,but this just added to tension. In my mind I started thinking that she was not interested and that this was the reason nothing was happening. I couldn't see that it was probably my self doubt causing a lot. At about halfway through the trail, I was stressing over the lack of any positive signs,so I decided to gamble. I totally seemed to take her by suprise,as I turned to her and told her that there was something I'd wanted to do for a while,and that was to kiss her. Well,she didn't hear what I said at first,which I perceived as rejection,so I then repeated and went to kiss her. I was so in my head and concerned about the negative cues I had picked up on,that I ended up just kissing her cheek. I felt like a total dweeb. Although she wasn't offended,I think I really freaked her out. We never spoke about it on the rest of the walk.
We had also booked tickets to see a comedy show,however that wasn't for another couple of weeks. But after the waterfall experience,I didn't think she would want to come. I spoke to her the week before the show and asked if she still wanted to come and she said 'yes of course'. This really surprised me. However, a few days later the show got cancelled due to covid.
It's just been confusing the whole situation. She had to go back up to our main site the week after our walk. So we haven't had any of that close contact and it's like how we were previously has just disappeared. I have only spoken to her on phone in work. We always have good interactions,but I now still doubt everything. Last week,another colleague who didn't know anything about me and her, mentioned that he thought she had a soft spot for me. He said he had noticed how she responded or reacted when my name was mentioned or I appeared on screen or phone during meetings in work. I played it down. But it's just added to confusion. I'm trying to distance myself from thinking about it.
As of last week, I was back up the same site as her. Again we get on really well when interacting,but there are always other team members about and I feel she has to put her guard up. I just doubt why she asked me to go on walk with her,and agree to go to see show together. I also feel I've totally freaked her out with my attempt to kiss her. Im trying to keep my space as much as I can in work. But we still interact, and when I talk to her I still feel there maybe a connection. It's just that she then pulls back a little. Don't know whether that's because of it being work and her trying to be professional. When the show got cancelled and with the attempted kiss,I feel like there is nothing there now.
