Newbie says hi, and seeks help in playing 'hard to get'

[Ronnie Poleman]

First of all I would like to thank everyone on sosuave for the articles and tips...this is no ordinary dating website with special routines and game-plans...this site shows you how to live your life to the full and develop yourself as a human being in all aspects, demonstrating that picking up girls isn't all there is to life, this belief kills desperation from the very start. This shows that everyone of you guys are connoisseurs of life itself, and you eagerly seek to better yourselves in every way possible. And I salute you for it, as I now join you in relishing the best of life.

Indeed I have read much of Pook, and other famous posters, who have hammered the philosophy of being the great catch, the man ahead of the rest, not being needy, and playing hard to get. For me, this is the true way of the Don Juan, and I do not understand how or why people choose to be needy and desperate, for it is the quickest path to AFC-ness, in believing that the meaning of life is to survive. But we know that it is not just to survive. The meaning of life, in the great words of Pook, is to win, not to survive, and that applies to women too. I therefore have followed this approach to life and women, and my confidence and zest for life has never been better. I am not desperate or clingy any more, and I endeavor to bring out the Don Juan in me by becoming the great catch.

I however came across a difficulty.

In becoming the great catch, I have unintentionally put women off. There have been at least three cases where I have been playing hard to get, and the women gives up instead of chasing me, much to my surprise. In one example, the verbal and nonverbal indicators showed that she was interested in me, her friends even told me she loved me, yet I became the ice man, and broke her heart. There were times where she had the perfect opportunity to reel me in, and I would have succumbed just the once to her as a Don Juan would, but she wussed out.

For another woman, I used a push-pull approach, where I switched between being cold and being loving. When I was cold, I ignored her, and spoke loudly of my previous conquests with women to my friends, so that she heard. I then did not speak to her for a year, by which time she moved on.

Based on what I have said, my question is this...how can you implement being the great catch successfully without making women give up on you?

 

[WC2]

The first half of your post is what you should be living your life by.

The second half, not so much.

First of all take the term 'ignoring' out of your Don Juan vocabulary. Any guy who intentionally ignores a woman is a pvssy. Not only do you look pathetic, but women have evolved to sense this. And they don't see it as you being a 'catch'. They see you as being a waste of time.

There is a fine line between ignoring a girl and giving her just the right amount of attention. The idea is to let it flow naturally. If you want to talk to a girl, then just do it. If she calls you and you feel the need to ignore her call, then all this is saying is that you are insecure. Unless of course you don't actually like the girl. Then intentionally ignoring her is within reason.

This is the essence of being a man. We don't really care how we come off to women. The way we live our daily lives is the same way we live with them with women. We don't ignore things we want in our daily lives do we?

Picking up a phone call and joking around with a broad beats ignoring any day. What I think you are getting at is the fact that we can't be needy. Yes, we as men should not be needy.

However, personally I love women. Whenever I see a woman I like I do not ignore them. In a lot of cases, I'm outright blunt. "You know I wouldn't want to come off as a creep, but I just felt the need to say hi to you. Oh yes, I like you and I haven't even heard you speak. So speak, tell me about yourself." Word for word something I said to Jenny, some broad at school today.

It turns out Jenny was wet in her pants by the time we got to talking about how she hadn't really had an orgasm, much less hooked up with any guys at school yet. Damn lying freshmen. I laid the seed. I sparked attraction. No I will not call her. No I do not expect her to call me. Hell, I didn't even bring up phone numbers. Who needs them? But I expect to make her laugh and turn her on again next time I see her on campus. Soon enough Jenny will be asking me for my number. Before she even gets a stab at getting in the sack with me, I'll have her laughing her panties off.

So see, ignoring a woman is not the way to go about things. There are far too many girls out there to focus on ignoring 1 or 2. Hit on all of them. Openly. Yes, women like a chase. But women don't like a man who doesn't give them anything to chase. If I do play hard to get, it's just by myself not making the creepy step to obtain a girl's number or address. This is called disparity. However, I will never 'ignore' a girl. That's called insecurity.

 

[Ronnie Poleman]

Ahh. That explains a lot.

...take the term 'ignoring' out of your Don Juan vocabulary. Any guy who intentionally ignores a woman is a pvssy. Not only do you look pathetic, but women have evolved to sense this. And they don't see it as you being a 'catch'. They see you as being a waste of time.

Lol oops. No wonder they went from being turned on, to turned off. I tried too hard to not be desperate and came across as cold. Insecurity...that's the last thing I want to project!

So ignoring is a no-no, won't repeat that again. However, making her aware of other women in your life should be ok, right?

Well, in another case, I was with a woman at a party, and I was speaking to a dude about another hottie I was hitting on. That was enough to put the woman I was with off me. I thought it would keep the woman interested, knowing she has competition, but she threw the towel in! Was she herself insecure?

I know a key principle in becoming a Don Juan is to also be able to adapt slightly to different women, like a baseball player adjusts his field based on the weather, or the tactics of the opposite team. What's the approach to insecure women, and how do you spot them?

Also, are there any other definitive no-no's in playing hard to get, apart from ignoring a girl?

 

[Igetit!]

Hey man,I'd listen to WC2. He knows what he's talking about. I've read some of his posts,he has a lot of knowledge that is very useful. I think that you kind of misunderstood what playing "hard to get" really means. It doesn't mean being cold or ignoring the girl. If someone was completely cold to you everytime you tried to talk to them,wouldn't you eventually just give up too?
The way you did it,you gave the girls absolutely no hope. If you had been warm,cold,cold,a little warmth,cold,cold,a little warmth,the few times of warmth would have been enough of an incintive to keep the girl's interest and compel her to chase you. But just being straight cold with no light at the end of the tunnel,sorry dude,this would turn off anybody.

However,like I said,I think you misunderstood the playing hard to get thing. It doesn't mean being cold,it means being preoccupied with other things in your life. It means being busy with work,school,family,friends,special interest,hobbies,and whatever else you have on your plate. This is the impression you want the girl to get of you,that you have your life so full of other things,but if she plays her cards right,that you might be willing to find the time in your busy schedule to "squeeze" her in there somewhere.
This is being "hard to get",and you can do this without being cold,without ignoring her. Acting and behaving in this manner actually makes you the priize in her eyes because you're in such high demand.That means that your time is valuable,therefore you are valuable. You now have value in her eyes.

You said that you had come across 3 different situations where the girls just gave up instead of chasing you. Well,looking back at the situation now,can you blame them? You were confused that the women did want to chase after a icy,cold,emotionless,heartless statue of a man? That shocked you? Hey,I know that it was all done in ignorance. You didn't know what you were doing at the time. Believe it or not,I did exactly the same thing one time. Made exactly the same mistake,with exactly the same result. But it seems like you are on the right track now. Sosuave is a very,very good forum to be a part of. There is a ocean of knowledge here to help in all areas of life.

Anyways,welcome to the forum,man.