Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Newbie looking for advice.

LGomes23

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Fellas,

Early 20’s newbie here, hoping for some advice on a few things:

Firstly, do shy women exhibit different attraction signals than normal / extroverted women? Asking because I recently moved back home from university (virtually learning) and began working at a local warehouse and there’s a girl at my workplace that seems fairly shy — this is mostly me guessing from body language as I have no interaction w/ her — but I’m having trouble reading her. One thing I have noticed is that whenever we make coincidental eye contact her eyes get extremely wide (think, like a deer in headlights). I also noticed that when I first began working at said warehouse (like the first week or so) I would rarely see her, but I noticed ever since then see always stays over on my teams shift. In addition, during times when I’m away from my friend group I notice she sort of follows me around — for instance I was in the front of a lane closing a box out and she came to my lane and began working on the diagonal aisle, a few seconds later I left to an area in the back of a aisle that was three lanes down and the next thing I know I see her come shortly after. Lastly, occasionally she does some odd things that I recently picked up on such as blatantly staring at me out the corner of her eye even when I’m afar. Also, she’ll even stand in my line of view or near me, but not say anything — for example, not too long ago I returned from a vacation and was working w/ a buddy who just returned from army training (ROTC) in a notoriously busy moving station and I felt that sensation when someone is staring at you, so I peeped and it was her, I ignored it and kept working and then a few seconds later she cut in our station w/ her cart and sat there fiddling w/ it for few minutes and then left. My question is, could I be over analyzing this situation, or could this be something? I know many of you will say “break the ice”, but Ive been playing the situation a little reserved for obvious reasons.

One more quick thing, as I know I’ve stated a lot, but how do you guys pick up on signs in general? Asking because as a rather large guy w/ a (natural) resting glare people tend to act intimidated around me and usually won’t initiate contact — guys stutter and don’t look me in the eye or will stand close near as to get my attention but won’t say anything, and I usually only hear about girls crushing on me from fellow guy friends / associates, or girls whom I never talk to will do something such as send me random questions to conversate via my schools email network. This w/ my size makes me a little self conscious and lends me to be reactive instead of proactive when it comes to relationships, which I’ve been trying to break. Anyways, greatly appreciate any advice!
 

Clamslammer

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You do realize she is giving you signals of attraction...really high signals. Next time you make eye contact with her be direct and go introduce yourself. Go for what you want. Strike a small conversation and then ask her out in person right there and then.
 

Kotaix

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Shy girls are usually the non-slutty types but wide eyes is a natural sign of attraction. She's def into you
 

Serenity

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Ive been playing the situation a little reserved for obvious reasons.
What? There's nothing obvious about why you haven't done anything yet.

I don't put much weight on signs, the best way to get anywhere is to walk up and talk to her. You can analyze signs all day long, but it's a waste of time. You will get your answers much faster if you just talk to her.

That said, I don't know how many more signs you need here? She's obviously following you around and staring at you a lot, what else could it be? Go up to her already.
 

andreihaha

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Do you want to know? Go to her and say "Hi. I'm Andrew. I know this is kinda...out of the blue, but wanna get a drink sometime? Or a kebab?"
If she's following you around, she'll just be relieved that you asked her out like she wasn't obvious(which she was). Maybe she'll even think it's meant to be or some BS like that.

P.S. Don't tell her your name is Andrew if it's actually Leonardo or something.

P.S. 2: Probably better to ask her out for a drink rather than the kebab. But go for it if you have the balls. Now I could eat some kebab...
 

RangerMIke

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Early 20’s newbie here, hoping for some advice on a few things:
Welcome. Best time to learn is early in life because you don't have to de-program yourself.

Firstly, do shy women exhibit different attraction signals than normal / extroverted women?
Well... I'm going to say something that many will disagree with, but this has always served me well. DO not worry about signs of 'interest' rather pay attention to signs of 'disinterest'. You will not know if a chick is really not interested in you until to take steps to make something happen.

.... and began working at a local warehouse and there’s a girl at my workplace...
Do what you want, but my advice is to avoid trying to date chicks you work with. It just gets messy. You are there to work not hit on chicks.

.... I felt that sensation when someone is staring at you, so I peeped and it was her...
This is interesting and is a good point. Women are experts at checking you out without you knowing it. The key to picking up on this is to trust your gut, it's usually right. Also it is always a good idea to maintain situational awareness. Pay attention to what is going on around you, notice things that are out of place, it will serve you well in life from driving a car to picking up on little things.

My question is, could I be over analyzing this situation, or could this be something?
Likely you are. The best way to be is to notice what is happening, quickly move through analysis and take action. With everything in life, timing is everything. It is better to act on limited information than to wait for perfect knowledge. There will always be some level of assumption in everything.

I usually only hear about girls crushing on me from fellow guy friends / associates, or girls whom I never talk to will do something such as send me random questions to conversate via my schools email network. This w/ my size makes me a little self conscious and lends me to be reactive instead of proactive when it comes to relationships, which I’ve been trying to break.
At your age this is normal... You will notice this will change as you get older and have older friends. The younger you are the more 'impressed' you and others your age will be with physical presence. This is why dudes that have a lot of really good physical features do very well when they are younger and when they hit their 30s and 40s they fall off. Another thing, as you get older you will learn that you are not going to have these "Hey dude, you know so-and-so is interested in you." You will start to get really vague hits from other women about their friends... and when I say 'vague' I mean REALLY vague... and it will only happen once or twice, so again you will have to trust your gut.
 

MoMoses

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Like all the guys above have told you: go talk to her. She'll give you more clues when you do that. If she acts nervous or on the contrary, very excited you'll know she might be interested. Tell me, when you catch her staring.. does she look at her feet or the floor in order to escape your eyes locking? Because that's a good sign aswell.

But without talking to her there is no way of knowing for sure
 

EyeOnThePrize

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Fellas,

Early 20’s newbie here, hoping for some advice on a few things:

Firstly, do shy women exhibit different attraction signals than normal / extroverted women? Asking because I recently moved back home from university (virtually learning) and began working at a local warehouse and there’s a girl at my workplace that seems fairly shy — this is mostly me guessing from body language as I have no interaction w/ her — but I’m having trouble reading her. One thing I have noticed is that whenever we make coincidental eye contact her eyes get extremely wide (think, like a deer in headlights). I also noticed that when I first began working at said warehouse (like the first week or so) I would rarely see her, but I noticed ever since then see always stays over on my teams shift. In addition, during times when I’m away from my friend group I notice she sort of follows me around — for instance I was in the front of a lane closing a box out and she came to my lane and began working on the diagonal aisle, a few seconds later I left to an area in the back of a aisle that was three lanes down and the next thing I know I see her come shortly after. Lastly, occasionally she does some odd things that I recently picked up on such as blatantly staring at me out the corner of her eye even when I’m afar. Also, she’ll even stand in my line of view or near me, but not say anything — for example, not too long ago I returned from a vacation and was working w/ a buddy who just returned from army training (ROTC) in a notoriously busy moving station and I felt that sensation when someone is staring at you, so I peeped and it was her, I ignored it and kept working and then a few seconds later she cut in our station w/ her cart and sat there fiddling w/ it for few minutes and then left. My question is, could I be over analyzing this situation, or could this be something? I know many of you will say “break the ice”, but Ive been playing the situation a little reserved for obvious reasons.

One more quick thing, as I know I’ve stated a lot, but how do you guys pick up on signs in general? Asking because as a rather large guy w/ a (natural) resting glare people tend to act intimidated around me and usually won’t initiate contact — guys stutter and don’t look me in the eye or will stand close near as to get my attention but won’t say anything, and I usually only hear about girls crushing on me from fellow guy friends / associates, or girls whom I never talk to will do something such as send me random questions to conversate via my schools email network. This w/ my size makes me a little self conscious and lends me to be reactive instead of proactive when it comes to relationships, which I’ve been trying to break. Anyways, greatly appreciate any advice!
This post kind of reads like a humble brag. And why does your profile age say 31?

Talk to her casually and gauge her interest. If she's constantly blushing or laughing at every silly joke you make then it should only reinforce this idea that she's into you. Women will rarely ask you out, they want you to lead, so they'll orbit and give you many windows to talk to them. Both introverts and extroverts can act this way.

There's a saying to not dip your pen in company ink, but this isn't exactly a career, more of a summer job. When you talk to her play it slow, after some banter maybe say something along the lines of 'you seem chill, we should grab a drink sometime.' and watch how she reacts. This isn't a question, it's a statement/suggestion, so the pressure on her is very low. She could simply ignore it and talk about something else without offending you, she could jump at the idea and become super excited, or anything in between.

If she reacts positively then set a date up THEN get her number.

To your second question, you pick up signs by being aware. The less stressed you are, the more in the moment you can be, the more awareness you'll have about how people react to your presence. Then you can simply sense attraction. Some women may always have their face turned to you either completely or half way, some may play with their hair, some may laugh at everything you say, some may find excuses to touch you, there's a million IOIs.

I once had a job where a girl sat on the opposite side of the room from me. I didn't even think she was that attractive and only flirted with her on a bet from some coworkers(they all thought she was hot), and it turned out that she sat on the other side of the room so that she wouldn't be distracted by me because she found me extremely attractive. She also turned out to have a killer body. We started banging each others brains out during the lunch break every day, good times. No IOIs and it still worked out, so don't read into it too much, just shoot your shot.
 

Black Widow Void

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I agree with others. The signs are there.

Be sure to strike while the iron is hot. If you don’t make a move soon, she’ll look at it as either disinterest on your part or you not having the guts to step up to the plate.

This is yours on a silver platter. Go for it!
 

deadmasterx

Senior Don Juan
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Firstly, do shy women exhibit different attraction signals than normal / extroverted women?
Yes they do, but the principles are the same. Women in general will put herself in your orbit when she's feeling interested. It can be by keeping eye contact with you (to invite you to come talk to her), looking to you, coming to talk to you (for the more straighforward extroverted women). Once you start talking, what will you notice? She will "invade" your personal space as much as she can, the more interest she is, the more she'll touch you, play with your hair, get her head down and then look up to you, look to your lips, etc.

For your shy girl, I think that you already got your signs. Next time she make eye contact with you, you keep it for some good 5 seconds, give her a smile, sign her with your hand to come closer to you. Then you start talking. Don't go to her, let/make her come to you. She must be coming to your space, not the other way around. Start talking, have fun, set up a date.
 
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