Newb Practicing Skills on Female friend

[thezenmachine]

Ok, The past 3 weeks or so I've been reading a lot and made a commitment to improve myself using the DJ stuff. What I've gone through has given me several starting points and a I keep a journal.

Anyway, last night I went out with a female friend of mine (solid 9) who just broke up with her bf. She is a girl I train at my gym (I'm the owner), I've known her about a year and we've become friends. I decided to try to act like I would on a first date, just for practice.

A few of the things I did (nothing major)

1. Attempted to display confidence and a bit of aloofness, ie not act too interested.

2. As per doc love's The System, I kept my hands to myself even when she was touching me. I realize there is conflicting advice on this, but this is the angle I took.

3. Kept compliments to a minimum, in fact she asked me for one, then I just joked about it while giving her a compliment.

4. I kept it light and funny.

Anyway, in just doing these things she started dancing with me and grabbed my hands and put them on her tits... I remained cool, didn't react. She then slid my hands down to other areas and I did the same, no real reaction. After that she we were sitting around and she said she wanted to kiss me, so we made out for a good while. Seems to have worked ok, although I had an in being a friend for a while, though she did reiterate that we were just friends when we were kissing, but it seemed good practice. This morning she started sending me messages about how great of a time she had. Probably a little skewed being that I know her well and she did just become single.

Seemed like pretty good practice! Definitely built some additional confidence.

 

[( . )( . )]

Seemed like pretty good practice! Definitely built some additional confidence.

Nice work mate, keep it up

Just a few things, I'm aware your new and all but her actions appear to be that of a chick who wants to be taken home and bagged, maybe if you get a next time and she's putting your hands all over her bits and pieces you can capitalize on it. However as you say, it's all good practice regardless.

And this bit:

2. As per doc love's The System, I kept my hands to myself even when she was touching me. I realize there is conflicting advice on this, but this is the angle I took.

Does doc love actually say this? thats ridiculous. Trust me, kino is most definately your friend, do a search on it and check it out.

 

[boomerick]

I believe Doc Love suggests you let her get comfortable enough to touch you first and then you have the green light to paw her back. He uses it as a test of her interest level. It's been 10 or so years since I read him though. And, I know it's not the only take on kino.

 

[( . )( . )]

I believe Doc Love suggests you let her get comfortable enough to touch you first and then you have the green light to paw her back. He uses it as a test of her interest level. It's been 10 or so years since I read him though. And, I know it's not the only take on kino.

Fair enough, thats a bit different. Personally I just touch from the get go, dont even think I'd have the concentration for the whole "ok that was kino, now I may proceed" thing, besides you can pretty much tell with a bit of eye contact if she's into you anyway . I never read much Doc Love when I started out, David D seemed to have more of an impact.

 

[boomerick]

I think the key to kino is your own style and confidence. I see the only way to go wrong with kino is if it's not 'natural' and or you are awkward about it. Good inner game allows you to relax enough to concentrate on being 'in the moment' -- having fun with the girl and doing what you feel. I think trying to 'connect the dots' -- worrying about performing one technique then trying to figure out which one comes next -- gets you strung out and nervous and it shows.

 

[thezenmachine]

Nice work mate, keep it up

Just a few things, I'm aware your new and all but her actions appear to be that of a chick who wants to be taken home and bagged, maybe if you get a next time and she's putting your hands all over her bits and pieces you can capitalize on it. However as you say, it's all good practice regardless.

And this bit:

Does doc love actually say this? thats ridiculous. Trust me, kino is most definately your friend, do a search on it and check it out.

Thanks man!

As another poster said, Doc Love says to basically wait till she is comfortable and initiates. I've had luck where I intiated kino and I've had luck with it. I'll mix it up and see what works best. I'm usually pretty good at knowing when to do those things. I'm still learning, and reading a lot of stuff, so I'm going to keep trying different techniques and just have fun with it. The main thing I'm trying to get out of this is to keep LTRs. I can usually meet and bed girls, get into relationships and all, but I'm 31 and the longest I've dated anyone has been around 6 months and I get dropped. I get the typical 'you're a great guy, but/LJBF" sort of thing. So I'm trying to do my best to improve all around. Meet more girls, date more, everything until I find a keeper. Self improvement.

I know that I *might* have been able to have this girl, but she's a friend, and I know and train her ex BF at my gym and I like the guy, so that wasn't really a route I wanted to take, I was already surprised enough when we made out and everything.

Thanks for the support, and I'll keep working on everything!