"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

New years rocked!!

W

White_Rabbit

Don Juan
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Ok not really but hey I got a good laugh outa the deal, I hope you guys get a laugh too. One of the ladies I have been seeing for a couple weeks (total nutcase) prolly read about her lol, flips out on me on new years and asks me to leave the party... which was cool... so I pass my friend a condom and give him the ok... rofl... he ****s her on the floor that night then gets up gets dressed and walks out leaving her there ... to clean up... hahahahahah.... sorry I guess some ppl might not find it funny but ... I do.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

O

\O/

Master Don Juan
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Your buddy screwed your date...good for you.
 
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White_Rabbit

Don Juan
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she wasnt my date actually she lives with her boyfriend... she's just a piece of ass..... I guess you guys dont believe in sharing? I obviously wasnt getting any so... might as well pass on the good fortune
 
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White_Rabbit

Don Juan
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yeah I guess its not super pimp or anything but I already got what I wanted outa the deal weeks before this and she has to be the worste lay ive ever met... so its not like i lost out real big here rofl I just knew she would feel like **** the next day and thats exactly what I wanted. I like it when I feel good and the girl thats trying to **** with me feels bad... minor victory but hell... at least she will stop bothering me for sure.
 
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