New years resolution

[starplayer]

On the whole, 2010 was not a good year for me when it came to girls.

It started off well when a oneitis came back. But she broke my heart and I'm still not really totally over it, even though it was months ago.

I also didn't have much luck with other girls. To be honest I didn't make that much of an effort, and things didn't seem to go my way as they have before.

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I think the single worst thing that's happened to me is I've lost a lot of faith in the methods we talk about here, and I've lost faith in myself.

I've started to see it being all about looks. My old insecurities have crept back and now I've got this underlying belief that I'm not good looking enough and/or tall enough to get a girl I like.

Of course the stupidest thing about this is I've seen that looks are not everything. When I've been confident and funny I've had quite a bit of success and attracted hot girls. I've seen first-hand there is another way and that I'm able to get the girls I want. ****y and funny came naturally to me and my confidence was the winning factor for me when it came to girls.

But now I have no confidence in myself. This oneitis situation hasn't helped. She's made me feel worthless, like I'm not good enough for that sort of girl. She's got someone else now which is making it worse. She's totally destroyed my ego. I feel like I'm not man enough and don't deserve that sort of girl.

This mindset is probably being picked up on by other girls, making the spiral worse. Also several people have said I looked unhappy, so I think it's beginning to tell.

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Soooo..... this year I have to start getting back to where I was about 2 years ago (a few months after I found the community). I need to get my confidence back, and get back to the roots of what the game's about. I also need to get in the player mindset around girls, and start being more ****y again. There could possibly be other big changes in my life this year, so it's a good time to get back into the game. I need to get over this oneitis for good.

I need my confidence back and I need to start believing in myself again.

 

[Mr. Goods]

You know what? You're in the perfect position to start fresh. It's January 1, the beginning of a new year. You also seem to have hit a rock bottom of sorts, meaning the only way to go is up. Any negatives in your life...erase them. They're gone. The b!tchy girl, the one-itis who destroyed your ego? Pz out - she's out of your life. Don't care about her anymore, she is not worth it.

I've had some paralyzing troubles with girls in my past too, and it seems you've had a run of success stronger than what I've had (the 3 green circles under your name help too lol). All you need to do is rebuild that confidence. Looks play a part, but in no way is it the be-all factor. A confident man who has his life in order is worth more value to women. If you become very confident in some areas of your life, it could carry over into the social part of your life too.

You have had success before. You know you can get it done. Now it's just about re-discovering it. Everyone goes through a slump, but it's surely something one can get out of. Good luck.

 

[starplayer]

Thanks man. Good advice.

Yeah you're right the new year is a good time to have a fresh start. Hopefully I can stick with it this time.

I just remember the optimism and hope I had when I first discovered pick-up in 2008. It was like a new start to my life and I still believe it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It made me realize that I was worth something. It helped that my doubts about pick-up were immediately destroyed when it worked on the very first girl I tried it out on. But it seems a long time ago now. If I can start reading and learning and making an effort again, then just maybe I can get that mindset back.

As for the oneitis, I really want to just forget her. Although she knows some of my friends, I have avoided her for the most part. I definitely don't want her back but I feel very jealous that she's moved on and is happy and probably forgotten about me. I guess I'm the one with the problem and it's my ego that needs sorting out. I need to work on myself this year.