New Year - time to reswallow the Red Pill

[Samol11]

Hi all,

Hope you have a prosperous and healthy 2026.

I originally swallowed the red pill back in 2022, after a failed relationship (ended by immaturity and insecurity on my part), gave me the realisation I needed to improve and learn to view relationships differently.

That summer, I fully engrossed myself in the material both on this website, aswell as various other books and resources. At the end of that summer, I felt the most alive ever. I was seeing things clearly, getting attention from girls with ease (when I never had before), and truly focussed fully on myself.

Fast forward a couple of years, I moved back home to focus on a business venture and became increasingly socially isolated. This led me to become reliant on dating apps for the dopamine I suppose, regress in my social skills and confidence as a result. Throughout that period, I had some dates with very attractive girls, some I liked more than others. However, I noticed a pattern again, that the more I was interested, the less power I had, and the less they seemed interested. I was able to get some girls (whom I liked less), to become quite attached to me, whilst others (whom I liked more), could perhaps smell the desperation and dispersed.

This all came to a crescendo a couple of months ago, when I started seeing a girl from a dating app quite intensely for a period of 3-4 weeks. This involved seeing her or calling her for hours every day, so naturally I started to get attached. Funnily enough after the 3-4 week period, and about a week after we first had sex (she said it was the best she'd had in a long time), she started to go cold, show less interest etc. So I called her out on it, she said she wasn't in the right headspace, couldn't do this, might be different in a couple of months blah blah blah.

So being quite upset about this, I removed her off socials, deleted the dating apps for a while to give myself a rest.

During this period, I went out more socially and started to focus on me again and met a couple of girls naturally from this, which felt really good.

Fast forward to now, I re-downloaded dating apps, saw the girl I got attached to on there again (with quotes on there of things I said about her on her profile).

This lead me to the realisation, that somewhere along the way, I lost my way. I became too needy. Too desperate. Killed any sort of chance with any girl before it had even started.

So, now is the time to put in the hard work again, get the mindset back and become my best self.

I guess a couple of questions to you about this:

1) Do you think I need to give dating apps a break after all of this? On one hand I met some really good girls off of them, but they started to make me anxious and I probably became addicted to them and the validation they gave me.

2) How do I actually go about getting a serious relationship if I have to detach to stop being so needy? Because surely serious relationships and connections are only built upon people opening up to one another, and whenever I do that, they always get uninterested. (I've never had a serious relationship longer than 5 months)

Thanks a lot for reading,

All the best.

Samo

 

[Clockwerk50]

OP, a couple of things to think about:

Firstly, attraction works best when roles are balanced. Masculine energy is action-oriented, such as leading, creating experiences, and making things happen. Feminine energy is relationship-oriented, in which originates connection and emotional investment grow naturally. Your job isn’t to reassure or “secure” her, but to create fun, new experiences together. After sex, the red pill suggests initiating texting less, about once a week, and focus on asking her out on dates with activities and plans you organize that are fun an unique. The goal is show leadership. In my experience, women will often text and make plans themselves if you keep giving them what they’re missing, usually adventure, success, romance, pleasure, or excitement.

Secondly, the less you seem to need other people, the more likely others will be drawn to you. If you understand this in all relationships it will make your neediness easier to suppress. Too much familiarity too quickly removes mystery and excitement, and predictable relationships kill attraction. After sex, many men become too available or emotionally certain, which lowers tension. People invest more when things still feel like they’re unfolding. Keep your life moving with new goals, energy, ambition, and direction, and stir the pot occasionally by expressing dislikes, getting into a fight or creating contrast, even pulling back slightly. Don’t rely on looks alone; beauty loses appeal without new energy and excitement.

It is up to you if you want to continue on online apps.

 

[Gamisch]

1. The dating apps should be supplemental ,but never your only option. Some men are better at realising the game and how " difficult " it can be to be steadily successful on the apps. Others, who attach their ego to it, might have a harder time dealing with the "rejection " alias not getting likes for longer periods.

The apps also have a tendency to keep the worst women on then for several reasons. Some wanna serial date, and some are just undateable. So the chance of you getting a woman who will be trouble is like...90%.

2. Now my take might be a little odd. But imo it's all about ENERGY. A man must vibrate a certain energy that attracts women and people in general. This energy, or vibe is obtained through many many aspects of life and cab take many years to get( most men won't ever experience this by the way).

You wanna know how to get a serious relationship? I assume one that actually works I. YOUR favor? One RP law is that it's gotta be HER idea. That means that you shouldn't be walking around looking for a relationship: it should be HER who wants a relationship from YOU.

So, ironically enough my answer is that you should NOT want a relationship but you rather djould be devolving yourself, have gun with women, het your money up tremendously, and pfcpurse work om your overall appearance. I will bet a few bucks that you'll be the one who tells the story about" head spcace" now instead of having to hear it...