"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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New Year: Goals

JackBauer24

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I'll cut to the chase: Was bullied at a young age, harassed by girls and guys in high school, rejected by any girl I went for. A week after high school ends, I meet a girl online (HB6), I have my first kiss with her, feel like "this would be good if I found her more attractive." Didn't see her again after that, didn't want to. Go on a vacation that summer. A girl (HB6.5) is sitting down on a bench at the beach. I walk up, sit down, and introduce myself. She's obviously into me, says "you have must have lost count of all the girlfriend's you've had." Blah blah blah. We hang out. She invites me over her beach house to "play pool." I show up and she's wearing black leather shorts and a playboy t-shirt. We play pool, the dad tries to ****block, I suggest we go up to her room. We make out on her bed. Bottom line: I had the skills. I wasn't any more outgoing or confident in myself, but I had a can-do attitude and the dominant, take-charge personality. All that ****y/funny bull**** is unnecessary. As long as you lead, and the girl is interested, she will follow.

Anyway, that was 6 years ago. The following year, I tried to cold approach a few women and was struggling. Lack of confidence was an issue, but extreme social anxiety (feeling like everyone's watching you, shaking, sweating, stuttering) was the real problem. As you know, approaching isn't something you can just put down. It's not like the guitar or something, where you don't play it for a year and you're still good if you were good before.
The bad approaches on my part and the lack of interest on the girl's part regardless of the bad approaching brought my confidence down even more.

Back to the present. I have a couple goals:

1.)I'd like to start cold approaching again, and get back to the way I was. I wasn't anything flashy, it was just "Hi, I'm JackBauer24," and thinking to myself, if she likes me fine, if she doesn't, oh well. I want to meet women through approaching, but approaching comfortably is just as important and just as much of an accomplishment to me.

2.)I'd like to have sex with a woman I'm physically attracted to. I refuse to settle for less. Went to a strip club and got lap dances from girls that "weren't ugly" and other guys might find hot but I wasn't attracted at all. I wasn't paying for the dances so I wasn't complaining, but it wasn't a big deal to me. I have to think the girl is pretty with or without clothes on for me to want to do anything with her.

I want to thank those of you who saw my pics and helped boost my confidence enough for me to want to try again.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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trojanman88

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LOL im going to be like that 20 year old virgin and say if I dont get laid in 30 days im killin myself lol lmao at the audacity of that dude haha
 

JackBauer24

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Having that urgent, "I have to get laid a.s.a.p." mentality is counter-productive.
 

JackBauer24

Don Juan
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I was given advice last year that I didn't take. A guy I was talking to in a chat room was talking about living in the present, how the past is irrelevant, the future is irrelevant, and all we have are moments that we live in.

I spent a good part of 2007 living in the past, thinking about women the past 5 years that I've seen and either didn't approach or approached pathetically. It's like bizarro one-it-is: Instead of thinking about one girl all the time, I was thinking about a handful of girls all the time that I'll never see again.

A few days ago, I was at the mall and within 5 minutes, saw a girl that was walking by that I was really attracted to. She was on the other side of the mall walking by really fast on her way out of the mall, so there was nothing I could do. The old me would have went home and thought about her and analyzed the situation to bits and pieces. The new me was like "There will be plenty of girls like her or better."
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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