"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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New to Don Juaning..need input

PBreeze84

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New to All of this..
Hey Guys first post..Im new to this...Forgive me for the long post.

So,Ive never had a serious girlfriend or dated anyone in my life to be honest. I am terrified of getting my heart strings pulled and getting toyed. So,I usually pick up average girls who are into me because it doesnt require much work to be honest. I just never really felt comfortable with picking up very pretty girls because I feel a bit out of place with them. I dont THINK Im a bad looking guy.I played college sports,have good job,decent car..I think ive done ok for myself,and I am a bit of a clown.

I will try to be as detailed as possible because I dont want to over exaggerate anything so you guys can just be honest with me.

Well there this girl that works in my building. But she is sooooooo beautiful and she was a former colliegiate basketball point guard and she is just absolutely stunning. So on Martin Luther king day,I said fit,Im going to email her and tell her I want to get to know her. So,I did,and for 2 days she didnt answer and I was a little disappointed.
Well on that wednesday of that week,she walked up to me and told me that she didnt respond to me because she wanted to talk to me personally and we chatted for a little bit. She also told me that if some dudes at the job try to mess with me that it doesnt matter because they are trying to get at her and that she has nothing to do with them.
So we have been emailing each other at work since monday.And its just been questioning,and getting to know each other.She works 9-6 and I work 1-12a so our schedules dont coordinate very well. But on her breaks,she comes and sits with me and talks.
I know this is kind of lame,but on tuesday we were talking,and she hit me in my chest..Twice... and everyone around me was like dude she touched you,so I dont know what that means,I just chill.
Well I emailed her on tuesday and she didnt respond when I got to work on wednesday,I was im not going to bother her,so I have to walk by her kind of to get to the break area and I just didnt want to come off as clingy ya know.So on her break,she came to my area and she was like I thought you werent here today,and I was like I am just chilling,you seemed busy etc..She explained to me her email was off and that she didnt check them today..Anyway,so I was like I have an hour of free time,im going to come say hello or whatever. And she was like ok.we work for corporate and take phone calls,so most times we come see each other,one of us is usually on the phone..So I go to talk to her and she is on the phone,the conversation is really brief and I go back to my area and she goes home etc..I emailed her again before I went home last night and we just usually tell ourselves about each other. I get to work today and she didn't respond to my last email. But there's where my situation turns weird...

When I got to work today...I had this message in my inbox from her...


So..It is known a couple girls in the building have a crush on me etc.Not a big deal...But today,one of the girls approached the girl I was diggin..I will let you guys read the emails and you tell me what you think...

1:47 PM-an email sent on Friday to my inbox
----> (This is a random email from one of the girls at my job sent to to the girl the girl I've been talking to)"Hey, I know this is a tad random, but this is Kaycee, Dara's friend. I know that you and ****** are friends and I was wondering if you knew if he had a gf! Sorry for the randomness "

The girl I'm talking to forwards me this email and says..."-CHECK YOUR GIRL. I MOST DEFINATELY WNT DEAL WITH STUFF LIKE THIS AT WORK ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM NOT THE ONE WHO APPROACHED YOU. i STAY TO MYSELF AND WILL NOT DEAL WITH ANY GIRLFRIEND DRAMA. NOT A GOOD LOOK.."

I dont know what is going on or whatever...But that was in my work inbox when I checked it today.i dont have a gf...I've never had one..

3 hours later from the same day i get another email from the chick I'm digging..

From the girl I was digging-"nevermind disregard this email.. i thought she was checking me and trying to tell me you had a girlfriend.. I just spoke to here and she was wondering if you had a girlfriend because she wanted to invite people from here(work) to go bowling. MISCOMMUNICATION.. MY APOLOGIES"

I dont know what the hell is going on. She works mon-fri. I work Sunday-Wednesday so I will see her tomorrow . What do I do? Ignore her? She kind made herself look silly i guess..I'm not sure whats going on..


I dont show it,but I really kind of like this girl and I dont want to seem like a ***** but I do. I dont want to mess it up but I am second guessing everything Im doing and to be honest I feel dumb as hell waiting on responses and stuff because ive never been like this,and for all I know,she could be a ho or playing with me.

That the gist of the situation..But she is my first "dime" so..Im just looking for the right thing to do...but also I want to improve on picking up beautiful women.

Sorry for the long first post guys,but im new to this.Thank you.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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VladPatton

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Welcome to SoSuave. So far, I don't think you've done anything to horrid except too much emailing. All of the stuff you were discussing through email could of been material for 2, 3, 4, dates. Why are you waiting? That other girl is already trying to ****block you. Whenever you mess with a female and other females notice, their interest in you redlines, so be prepared for that.

Otherwise, no more beating around the bush, and ask her out. That is your ultimate answer for "does she like me?". Set a date/time and see if she keeps it. If she flakes on you twice, Next her, she's playing you. Simple.

Regardless whatever goes down, play it on the super down-low at work, as if nothing between you two ever happened/is happening. Besides being a bad idea to date a workplace girl, the last thing you need is workplace gossip.

Good luck.
 

PBreeze84

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Ok…So after the email fiasco..I decided I would lay low today and just chill and see what happens..So around 4:00p she comes up to me,apologizes and explains the situation. We start talking and I tease her a little bit and she starts to get a little embarrassed. She walks over to me, punches my arm,hits me in the chest and then she puts her hands around my neck then hits me again. I start up like am about to do something and I start pointing at her and she say “If you don’t stop putting at me,Im going to hurt” and I smile.So I go to her desk later,and I just start pointing at her and while shes on the phone,she raises her middle finger to her lips and smiles and I keep pointing..

But she did say something key..I was messing with her and I told her,”I don’t want none of your bfs here at work confronting me” and she says, “I don’t have any boyfriends at work to confront you..Not here at all…”

Do I take the play fighting as simple teasing or do I try something else?
And what about the bf statement?That was a weird on to make..
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Elephant

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PBreeze84:

You doing fine, don't worry. Take VladPatton advice and ask her out and keep it on the DL at work. She seems to be interested so just go for it, its the only way to find out.

One piece of advice: Don't spend too much time trying to 'read girls' or figure out if she likes you, it will only drive you crazy and you will miss your shot with them.

Check out book of pook, weapons of mass seduction, and some articles on sosuave.com. Mostly look at stuff about social skills, improving yourself, not being needy, ect. Don't focus too much on specific techniques especially with this girl.
 

Greasy Pig

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Just fvcking ask her out already man!! You've gotta strike while the iron is hot or you'll lose her to someone with balls.
No more beating around the bush, no more trying to read her and no more trying to decipher emails.
You will have all your answers when you ask her out. Do it, do it.
 

PBreeze84

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Hey guys...so...i got the date Saturday...now what lol? I know that sounds dumb but is there a first date protocol....?
 

VladPatton

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PBreeze84 said:
Hey guys...so...i got the date Saturday...now what lol? I know that sounds dumb but is there a first date protocol....?

Keep it light, embrace a natural flow. You have no idea what she's like when she's not at work, so no need to spend big bucks just yet. Keep it relatively short, no 6 hr. marathon date, and leave her wanting for more. If you feel she is receptive to a kiss, go for it. If not, try it next time. Don't make plans for another date on the actual date, keep her guessing for a little while. Those are the basics.

Good luck.
 
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