New: In training: Need advice

[PumpNightmare]

I'm a 22 year old virgin who has never been on a date. A couple months ago I started reading some of the DJ Bible and downloaded David Angelo's "Body Langauge" to try to understand myself and others better. One of my friends has recently tried to help me out by inviting me to a couple of parties he was going to. He kept introducing me with a few girls and got me talking. Hell, last week on St. Paties Day, I was finaly sitting down with a girl with my arm around her. But even with the alcohol in my system, I couldn't seem to do more then talk and I didn't ask for her number. Or any of the other girls he tried to introduced me.

He says I'm improving a lot after inviting me, encouraging to try to be a jerk/*******. However, I think there are some other things that are holding me back. For example the girl I was talkint to on St. Paties Day. I had my arm around here, sitting, chatting. Things seem to be fine. I even pulled a fast one and ran my hand on her breast and she didn't seem to mind. But that's as far as I went. Didn't ask for a number or tried to kiss her, just chatted like that.

I have a few friends that are girls from my classes that I talk to (all have boyfriends).So I'm not nervous when it comes to talking to girls. I'm nervous when it comes to trying to get what I really want. Any suggestions on what I could do to improve myself? I know this place gets a new thread like this everyday, but I know I need some help. Maybe some suggestions on what I should work on?

 

[PumpNightmare]

I was actualy a little worried that being under the influence was too much of a crutch. I'll try to lay off the booz next time and see if I can get my friends to go out clubing. I know he suggested to me over Winter Break but I've never took him up on his offer to help me with my social problems till recently.

Btw, when talking to women, I'm fine with introductions. However, there are some issues I have latter on in conversatoins, like when I'm asked what I do for fun (hobbies). I'll have to admit I'm a geek at heart and I play games like DDR/ITG/Pump It Up often ( the "dancing rythm games" for the unfamilar ). I'm certain that "geek" activiities might be bad in the conversation, so any alternatives I could detract conversation from? I have other intrests, but they always seem to get mixed up with Asian culture and the like (when I graduate FSU, my major/minor will be Asian Studies/Japanese).

Thanks for the other advice. I'm attempting to do my best.

 

[Tazman]

I'm nervous when it comes to trying to get what I really want.

I know where you're coming from, and honestly I'm still working at it, but I will say that it may help if you stop thinking about impressing these girls and just go for what you want. You will learn what works more often than not and build your confidence from there. My problem was reading all the posts and articles on this site and feeling overwhelmed.

I experimented with a few girls I didn't plan on doing anything with because I wasn't really into them. Guess what? I could've hooked up with them all, and I didn't use any special techniques or preplanning, that stuff just made me nervous for no reason. I realize this isn't the same as going after what I trully desired, but it showed me that I've been worrying about things that trully won't make or break you.

Interestingly enough, even if the moves you make aren't the smoothest, women will take notice of your assertiveness (age/experience does play a role, but at 22 you should have no problem with women around the same age). There are limits of course, but if you're a normal guy you're pretty much allowed to push boundaries because it's what's expected of you. A close friend of mine had sex with a girl he's been pursuing for a while and he said he finished in like a few minutes, and it's happened more than 3x. Well, they're still having sex and she wants them to become a couple. I've known this guy for like 15 years, he has no game, he's insecure, but he went ahead and gave it a shot.

That's the mindset you should have, you WILL learn during the process so don't sweat it and just do it. If you can laugh at your mistakes it will feel like a heavy weight has been lifted. You know, before I got into trouble (long story, including developing insecurities) as a teen I was actually approaching girls and making moves. A lot of it really does come naturally (nobody ever taught me), you just have to do it, and not think so hard about the outcome. In fact, the times I did approach I never thought about getting rejected, it was all about seeing what I could get away with.

 

[Stforeman]

I've researched in the past about asking for a girls' numbers. (This has worked for me). A good way to get her number is to say, "I'd like to take you out sometime, is there a number I can reach you at?" She'll pretty much have to give it to you, cause she'll sound like a dumbass if she said no.

I've also read that like every good auto salesman, seal the deal before the customer leaves, if not, you'll never see them again.

So be creative and go ahead and set up a date. Don't tell her, "you just wanna hang out" be creative and go with something she'd be interested in. Try to avoid "friendly" lunch dates! They don't end at the house and the chance for a kiss is slim.

About the alchohol.. don't be the square who walks around saying "I don't drink" Go with something like, "I'm the DD" or "I have to get up early".

Good luck buddy... and like posted ^, be CONFIDENT!
-remember, SHE is talking to YOU!

 

[wooly]

t

About the alchohol.. don't be the square who walks around saying "I don't drink" Go with something like, "I'm the DD" or "I have to get up early".

and any real drinker knows that getting up early is no excuse!!!

 

[juanita]

"I had my arm around here, sitting, chatting. Things seem to be fine. I even pulled a fast one and ran my hand on her breast and she didn't seem to mind. But that's as far as I went. Didn't ask for a number or tried to kiss her, just chatted like that."


sounds so yaky! u have to learn some manners BEFORE u start approaching women