New Here..Some thoughts

[radiodude]

I've beem looking at this site for several months now, and i have to say that I completely agree.

Here's my perspective. From what I've experienced and what i believe to be true in life, it all boils down to this: Women want to become a part of a life that has already been made. In other words, women want to join you in life, they DON'T want a man to,'join them', so to speak.

As a man, you need to develop your own life and identity before you can ever hope to attract a desirable woman. She has to be able to look at you and want to be a part of what you have, and know that you have the strength, wit, and confidence to get through life and provide her with a happy one.

This can be many different things to many different women, but it is a universal general rule.

A common problem that many AFC's have is that they want to latch on to a woman and expect her to build the life and entertain him in the process. WON'T HAPPEN!!!!

Every man's attitude should be that of whether or not she wants to join him. And that she is more than welcome to, but if she chooses not to, he is going to push right along and not think twice about it.

So ask yourself, what can SHE contribute? what can SHE do for me? Is SHE worthy?
...and...
Am I all that I can be?????

All this and the usual Don Juan details in between will make you irresistable to almost any woman!!

 

[jtws]

Well said, RD .

 

[WildThang]

Yeah, but the flip side of this is *you* don't want a passenger either. If you're in it for the long haul, you want a chick who can take the rough with the smooth and stick by you no matter what.

Here's the truth guys, and a very unwelcome truth it is - most chicks are fair weather friends. When you have your shyt together, they're all over you. But if you're down or if life is not being kind to you, at least 90% will bail on you. Sometimes even after you've been together for 'decades'. Whether you have kids or not.

Worse than that, they will start telling you about how everything that has gone wrong is all your fault. Or if you're not being rich and successful enough by *her* standards, she still won't respect you.

I've just been reading a book that's partly about male loyalty (or sometimes the lack of it) - a ton of stories from guy's real lives. And the one thing that comes up over and over, is that when these guys lose their jobs, whether they're white collar or blue collar types, their wives leave them. Like night follows day - he gets the pink slip, she kicks him out the house. And she's usually nasty as a fvck about it too.

Why does this happen? Because chicks don't want a friend or an equal partner. They want a guy who will play daddy and provide for them. There are paying hos you go and see and pay by cash, and then there are marriage hos you pay after you're married. Sometimes it's kind of hard to tell the two apart.

In spite of all that crap you'll hear about how women are more mature than men, the reality is that most chicks are still babies - they feel they have a right to be looked after by the men in their life. And if you don't do that properly, you are OUT. Screw loyalty.

So... while it's good to be self-sufficient and not rely on chicks for your support, it's also a good idea, if you're getting into serious LTR territory, to check out where your woman stands on this. A tiny handful of chicks have the worth to stand by a man no matter what. Most will bail at the first sign of serious trouble. What you *reallY* want is one of the first sort. You may not find her, but if you don't check her out for true loyalty, don't be surprised if you find yourself out on your ass if your life takes a few unexpected turnings.

It ain't pretty, but that's the way it is.

 

[Futurologist]

Excellent posts here, guys!

WildThang, I've just got a couple of questions about what you wrote.

1. What's the name of that book about male loyalty? It's not a topic I hear much discussion about, and I'd like to check it out.

2. What ideas do you have for testing our women to see if they're the "Stand By Your Man" type? I can't imagine taking merely a verbal answer from a woman seriously on this ... I'd definitely need to see something in action.

 

[PoachR75]

WildThang:

Here's an important addendum:

While women do bail at a much higher rate than men, this phenomeneon is often a function of the availability of some sap being available that they can run to. In my experience (my 33 years and a fricking 5 year relationship experience), the attractive woman is not willing to or never really has to "go it alone" -- 95% percent of women will stay in a bad relationship and will not leave until they have someone else waiting to run to...they are, by nature, dependent creatures, and will only be alone if they ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO. Be warned gentlemen, THIS IS LIFE. Women will date a guy behind your back rather than break up with you like a real person, because their friends and family will help them rationalize it..."if he doesn't make you happy, find someone who will" They don't say "If he doesn't make you happy, THEN BREAK UP WITH HIM AND LEARN TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY before dating someone else".

Be warned gentlemen.
And be wary, 'cause they have ways of seeing other guys behind your back with little effort. Watch out for their co-workers, the guys at their gym, guys with the same hobbies that they have, etc. etc.

This is life.

(Hey, WOULDN'T WE have little trouble being the guy that the hot 10 babe runs to?)