New here. Need advice...

[melancholy]

So I've been reading most of the starter tips here and there in this forum and I'd like advice from some of you guys on a situation I have. Here's the breakdown.

Met a girl, felt a connection and she seemed to like me.

Date 1: Introductory, got to know her nothing special.
Day 1: Waited a full day, then texted her. She texted back, and we had a to and fro conversation daily.
Week 1: Asked her out via text on Saturday. She said she might be busy on Sat but didn't refuse it. I didn't ask her again and figured she was busy.
Week 2: While texting back and forth(we do that daily), she hinted at me that she was free this weekend. It was pretty obvious, as she was flirty about it. I asked her out and she agreed for Sunday. Saturday came, and she said she double booked herself accidentally and had to attend an event. Since she was the one who proposed it, I asked when do you want to go and we scheduled next Satuday.

Date 2: Finally met up with her with lunch. I'm a shift worker, so had gotten off work at early 7am and only had 3 hours of sleep but went and met up with her anyway. I had only planned for lunch since I was tired but ended up hanging out with her till 10 pm at night.
Week 1: We exchanged texts more often after the 2nd date and I'm growing more fond of her. Eventually while talking about picnics we agreed on a picnic date for the next week. She wanted to handle the cooking and refused me getting the drinks, saying she wanted to do all that for me. I was :rockon:. I decided to buy her a gift.
Week 2: She was sick one day, so I decided to call her up at night while she was home to check on how she was doing. I also decided to use this opportunity to stealthily ask her questions and decide on the gift I wanted to give her. We ended up chatting for 2 hours despite me trying to end the conversation since she was sick and I didn't want to keep her up as she had work the next day.

Date 3: Timeline is a few days before picnic date. We were texting as usual and she said she had a craving for a certain food. Decided to jump in and said that I'll fetch her after work to go eat at the restaurant she wanted to eat in. She agreed and we hung out till late before I sent her back.

A few days before picnic date she was texting on how excited she was. On the day before the date at night she texted me suddenly that she couldn't make it. I called her up to enquire on what's up, and she said she had a family camp planned at her church and she was suddenly in charge of the preparations and had to call it off. She asked if it was okay to meet up at night instead but I had a wedding dinner to attend so I refused. I guessed I sounded disappointed on the phone, and she asked me if I was a few times while apologizing. I played it cool and admitted I was, but only because I hadn't anything else planned on the Saturday so it was a wasted day.

Current week: We texted back and forth as usual while she was on her family trip and I noticed a change of demeanor. She seemed agitated. Her replies were tersed and when I asked her for about her trip she replied with a rude "What do you want??". I apologized and text-asked her what is wrong and I guess being in charge on of the trip put her in a bad mood as things weren't going well. I had also asked her if she wanted to go out after she came back from the trip for dinner afterwork but she said depending on her workload that week.


So anyway, I'd like some advice on this. Should I keep texting her? Or just lay off for a couple of days. Is her change in attitude a sign? Am I getting myself into a friendzone by texting her too often? I'm not even going to ask her again about the next date that is pending her workload. I still have to see her eventually at the end of the month as I had agreed to join one of her church events to accompany her but its a group event.

 

[Fireballs]

I would go no contact. Heck, I'd probably even delete her number. Her interest level is dropping. Do you think it's ok to tolerate her 'rude text response'? You should not have apologized.

Also having conversational texts daily is generally a bad idea. You are too busy to be doing this! Before I send a text I think to myself, 'what is my desired outcome from sending this?' Will it make her gina tingle? Will it make her laugh? Will it make her hamster spin? etc.. If not then why am I sending this? General conversation is saved for when you see them in person. Never get them tired of hearing from you! Make her wonder what you are up to! She is not the centre of your life!

Also if you haven't you need to read the bible. 99% of answers to any question on this forum can be answered in this.

Good luck.

http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

 

[cordoncordon]

I don't respond much anymore to posts like this, probably because I have seen them so many times over the years that I have just grown immune to them, but I felt your case was especially troubling, yet salvageable, so I wanted to chime in with some advice.

First, you are being way way too nice. Way too available. Way to everything. Why are you buying this girl a gift that you barely know? Don't do that.

And why are you texting with someone so much? I have never understood this about men. They don't do this with their friends, or their wives. But give most men a new woman to date? And they turn into a 16 year old girl who lives and dies by texting. Save your conversations for when you meet in person so that you actually have something to talk about. Save your conversations for when you meet in person so that things don't go stale and you get sick of each other after a few weeks. My now wife and I met about 5 years ago. We knew probably within a week or two of meeting that it was leading towards a serious relationship. But guess how much we texted, called, or emailed? Hardly ever. We would contact each other to set up a date, and maybe send a text or two throughout the week, but that was it. And then we we saw each other? We had all kinds of things to learn about each other, face to face, rather than sitting there staring at each other having already done all that via text. Even to this day we rarely text each other, call, email. In the 5 years we have been together we might have commented on each others facebook a total of 5-8 times. We don't feel a need to show the world how much we love each other. We don't feel a need to constantly be in touch throughout the day when we are apart knowing what each other is doing. We do A LOT together, almost everything in fact, but when we are apart, we are comfortable with that.

I strongly suggest that you stop contacting this girl now. I'm not saying this has to last forever, but if you have any hope of saving this you need to disassociate yourself from this "relationship". I mean, why are you apologizing when she was the one acting like a beotch to you? All that does is weaken yourself in her eyes and makes you less attractive. For the next 2-3 weeks, don't contact her at all. Let her contact you. IF and when she does, keep your responses short yet fun. Brief yet cordial. You don't need to be an azz to her, but you do need to show her that your life is not revolving around her. Because right now? She thinks it does. So see what happens. IF she contacts you and wants to hang out, go ahead. But again, keep things light and fun. Tell her about all the great things you have been doing. And then? Reevaluate and take things from there.


Good luck.

 

[Greasy Pig]

It seems you've invested a lot of time and effort into this girl and you still haven't gotten physical with her.
I see you two go to church, so sex might be off the table. But you are seriously acting like a wuss.
Women like a challenge, they like a man with some mystery about him and who isn't needy.
You are breaking all these rules and her interest levels are dropping, dropping to the point that she knows she can blatantly disrespect you and get away with it.

What is your goal with her? Is sex an option?

 

[Triumph2]

So I've been reading most of the starter tips here and there in this forum and I'd like advice from some of you guys on a situation I have. Here's the breakdown.

Met a girl, felt a connection and she seemed to like me.

Date 1: Introductory, got to know her nothing special.
Day 1: Waited a full day, then texted her. She texted back, and we had a to and fro conversation daily.
Week 1: Asked her out via text on Saturday. She said she might be busy on Sat but didn't refuse it. I didn't ask her again and figured she was busy.
Week 2: While texting back and forth(we do that daily), she hinted at me that she was free this weekend. It was pretty obvious, as she was flirty about it. I asked her out and she agreed for Sunday. Saturday came, and she said she double booked herself accidentally and had to attend an event. Since she was the one who proposed it, I asked when do you want to go and we scheduled next Satuday.

Date 2: Finally met up with her with lunch. I'm a shift worker, so had gotten off work at early 7am and only had 3 hours of sleep but went and met up with her anyway. I had only planned for lunch since I was tired but ended up hanging out with her till 10 pm at night.
Week 1: We exchanged texts more often after the 2nd date and I'm growing more fond of her. Eventually while talking about picnics we agreed on a picnic date for the next week. She wanted to handle the cooking and refused me getting the drinks, saying she wanted to do all that for me. I was :rockon:. I decided to buy her a gift.
Week 2: She was sick one day, so I decided to call her up at night while she was home to check on how she was doing. I also decided to use this opportunity to stealthily ask her questions and decide on the gift I wanted to give her. We ended up chatting for 2 hours despite me trying to end the conversation since she was sick and I didn't want to keep her up as she had work the next day.

Date 3: Timeline is a few days before picnic date. We were texting as usual and she said she had a craving for a certain food. Decided to jump in and said that I'll fetch her after work to go eat at the restaurant she wanted to eat in. She agreed and we hung out till late before I sent her back.

A few days before picnic date she was texting on how excited she was. On the day before the date at night she texted me suddenly that she couldn't make it. I called her up to enquire on what's up, and she said she had a family camp planned at her church and she was suddenly in charge of the preparations and had to call it off. She asked if it was okay to meet up at night instead but I had a wedding dinner to attend so I refused. I guessed I sounded disappointed on the phone, and she asked me if I was a few times while apologizing. I played it cool and admitted I was, but only because I hadn't anything else planned on the Saturday so it was a wasted day.

Current week: We texted back and forth as usual while she was on her family trip and I noticed a change of demeanor. She seemed agitated. Her replies were tersed and when I asked her for about her trip she replied with a rude "What do you want??". I apologized and text-asked her what is wrong and I guess being in charge on of the trip put her in a bad mood as things weren't going well. I had also asked her if she wanted to go out after she came back from the trip for dinner afterwork but she said depending on her workload that week.


So anyway, I'd like some advice on this. Should I keep texting her? Or just lay off for a couple of days. Is her change in attitude a sign? Am I getting myself into a friendzone by texting her too often? I'm not even going to ask her again about the next date that is pending her workload. I still have to see her eventually at the end of the month as I had agreed to join one of her church events to accompany her but its a group event.

have you read the Bible here or Double your dating book?