this girl i know, we went on a few dates off and on but it never escolated into anything more for some reason. we'd always kiss and stuff, but i could never get her to see me other then "just some guy i go out with every now and then". so finally i ask her about it and she gives me an excuse i've never heard before. "i'm depressed, i wouldn't make a good girlfriend right now". guess what? she started dating someone 2 weeks ago. she's cured! it's a miracle!:crackup: i wish she would have just told me "look i'm not interested in you" instead of going on those dates with me and kissing me and stuff. stupid girls.haha
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
new excuse I was told, thought I'd share
- Thread starter Robert28
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
SandHawk
Master Don Juan
Oneitis, you weren't spinning enough plates! Now go find yourself 2 girls to replace her with.
i'm working on it! she's a single mom anyways and lately ive had nothing but bad luck with them. it seems like they play games worse then girls who don't have kids! then they complain about how guys play games.haha
kingsam
Master Don Juan
quite an original line...
didnt you realise that she "wernt really intrested in you"
there was no reason to bother asking her... should have just not botherd dating her...
didnt you realise that she "wernt really intrested in you"
there was no reason to bother asking her... should have just not botherd dating her...
kingsam said:
well yes and no. whenever i would ask her to go out she would be all excited, never flaked, never cancelled on me. we'd go out, have a great time, kiss, all that stuff. just couldnt get her to commit to anything serious, or to see me on a regular basis or at least have sex. her friends even said she was interested in me, but ive come to learn never listen to a girls friends cause they dont know jack crap. i just wanted her to tell me what the reason was so i asked her, not the answer i was expecting and probably a lie but at least she told me something.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 16,802
- Reaction score
- 10,036
I've heard that before somewhere, can't remember where exactly.
Anyway, how many people are so direct "I'm not interested in you"? She was just trying to be nice, making up an excuse. I don't see that as a horrible thing.
Or maybe she actually believed she was too depressed to make a good girlfriend? But the next guy who came along convinced her otherwise. Girls can think all sorts of things but when the right guy comes along all that stuff goes out the window.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
I'm up way too early. I know. It's Sunday, but it's too cold... sigh.
Do you see what happened here when it was broken down into segments like that. She's not the reason here... YOU are. It looks like she didn't want something "serious" and by asking her about it... it gave her the impression that you were trying too hard. What's wrong with being the guy she goes out with every now and then? How many weeks had you two gone out before asking her about... wait... what DID you ask her???
BTW, I hope you know that when she said she was depressed... she probably meant that you were depressing her in that given moment. And when she said she wouldn't make a good girlfriend right now she meant she wouldn't be caught dead in a relationship with you.
You should have just been the guy she goes out with every now and then.
And you two only kissed? That's what it seems like...
And no... the girl isn't stupid.
Figure that one out on your own.
You're the reason.Robert28 said:
There's the problem.
Why would you even ask her?
Do you see what happened here when it was broken down into segments like that. She's not the reason here... YOU are. It looks like she didn't want something "serious" and by asking her about it... it gave her the impression that you were trying too hard. What's wrong with being the guy she goes out with every now and then? How many weeks had you two gone out before asking her about... wait... what DID you ask her???
BTW, I hope you know that when she said she was depressed... she probably meant that you were depressing her in that given moment. And when she said she wouldn't make a good girlfriend right now she meant she wouldn't be caught dead in a relationship with you.
You should have just been the guy she goes out with every now and then.
Good for her! Maybe this guy won't screw up and try to sequester her into a relationship and just bang her brains out every once in a while... hopefully he's a member of these forums!
Women aren't hard-wired like that. They won't come out and say that they aren't interested.
And you two only kissed? That's what it seems like...
And no... the girl isn't stupid.
Figure that one out on your own.
thought I would give a quick update on this thread. so the girl i was referring to in this thread, i ran into her and her "new boyfriend" that she miraciously came out of "depression" to start dating. the best part? he has one arm. literally. i know that sounds shallow and d!ckheadish of me, but what a kick in the b@llsack that is to have a dude with ONE F*CKING ARM be chosen over you by a girl!!!! and before you ask about his looks, well in myopinion i look WAY better then he does. his eyes are sunken in and he has these dark circlles around them, and he is about as boney as a hostage. i just don't get it. i just don't f'n get it at all. maybe she was depressed after all because this is the LAST guy i thought she would EVER be with. no more single moms for me, seriously. if you have a kid, i'm running the other way from now on. way too much b.s. to put up with from single moms in my experience. so, if you're having a crappy day or are feeling bad that some chick picked another guy over you, just remember this....at least he had both arms.
thecurtainfalls
Senior Don Juan
well, that's that. I don't want to hear anyone else ***** about being too short or too ugly or too bald or anything from now on, you've got a field report where a girl chose a guy with one arm. I'm sorry for your setback, but honestly, good for that guy, nice to know that losing an appendage doesn't mean game over.
AbsolutBeirut
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 22, 2006
- Messages
- 94
- Reaction score
- 0
Hey, could you elaborate more on the wouldn't make a good girlfriend talk? Did you get to see her again any time after that? I am kind of in a situation like you with a girl I've been seeing for a month that I havent laid yet that's been acting very coy with me. I would rather keep her as a FB (if we ever get to that point) than losing her. I do admit that I got oneitis but that it hasn't kept me from going out and trying to meet other women.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
AbsolutBeirut said:
well i asked her out again but we could never get together on a time to hangout. we kinda stopped talking(basically i stopped talking to her, she never tried to contact me). i can tell you this from what i've learned, if it's been a month and you haven't gotten the results you were looking for, drop her like a bad habit and move on. if she wanted to f*ck she would have by now. same with this girl, if she REALLY wanted to be with ME she would have done it and saved me that little speech but instead she's all happy with Mr. one arm. just because she's acting one way with you doesn't mean shes not acting a totally different way around someone else. this girl sure didn't seem to "depressed" when i saw her with her new boyfriend the other day.
Let me get this straight, the one arm dude was chosen over you? Nope. He was there long before you pal. Long before. But Kailex makes a good point, don't say anything, go with the flow, till you find one that does want a relationship. If you have the "relationship" talk, you are acting feminine. SHE has to BRING THAT UP. Otherwise, she's just a girl in your life that you wouldn't mind fuvking. I learned the hard way this week.