"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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new coworker to work with

dannyme

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Hey guys, I met a new coworker.
She's got gel (you know, the flaky type) on her back and it was on her shoulder.

I made fun of her and called it dandruff. My mistake for doing it in front of our colleagues and she said, "You pissed me off." And she stopped talking to me.

I didn't apologize but I stopped doing it. Did I do it right? Or should I have pushed on?

What should I do? Should I make fun of her on something else?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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The Bad Ass Canadian

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You pissed her off, so no... you didn't do it right.

In front of other colleagues, you should have just briefly mentioned it to her, to spare her the embarassement. She embarrassed herself by having gel on her back, and you just compounded the embarrassement by pointing it out infront of everyone and making a joke about it.

That is not a neg hit........ it's just plain stupid. She's new and she won't like you very much, I suspect.
 

Dr Box

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dude learn from this mistake. unfortunatly you didn't do right, negs should be on things which arent really embarassing on their own, i.e: shoes, clothes, hair etc (things she can easily change and that dont really matter)
 

AmIAFC

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Apologize and offer to take her to lunch (your treat).

No, you probably won't get much from her, but at least you won't be uncomfortable around her any more.

If she plays tough, just shrug and leave. At least she'll respect you for approaching her.
 

Egoist

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:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

dude, what kind of an idiot are you?

if you don't understand how and when to use negs, don't apply them..

bottom line: you ****ed up because you negged a girl in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

and from the rest of you comments - you don't understand the concept at all. just stop and go back and reread the bible or something. ****, i doubt it will do you any good.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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GuitarPlayer

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No, the proper thing would have been to yell out, "Hey, new girl! You've got a booger hanging out of your nose!"
 

TxCowboy

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Originally posted by dannyme
Hey guys, I met a new coworker.
She's got gel (you know, the flaky type) on her back and it was on her shoulder.

I made fun of her and called it dandruff. My mistake for doing it in front of our colleagues and she said, "You pissed me off." And she stopped talking to me.

I didn't apologize but I stopped doing it. Did I do it right? Or should I have pushed on?

What should I do? Should I make fun of her on something else?
First off, just being the new guy on the block is tough as is and the last thing u need is some ass ragging on you about something like that
Second, I wouldnt even bother flirting with chicks at work anyways - "never dip you pen in company ink" as they say ; Be professional about how you handle yourself around female colleagues and NOT flirty
 

TekPh0bia

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It's rather funny to see someone try to adapt a facet of another's personality (e.g., C+F).

Personally, I think a lot of things taught in the DJB are things that are learned, or you just naturally have them. You can't script a C+F occassion, nor can you do it, come back to the forum and ask if you did it right. You'll KNOW when you do it right. Perhaps before speaking, you ask yourself, "if someone said that to me (with a smile), how would I feel?" *shrug* I dunno.

I've been reading the posts here for a while, and it seems too many posters try to follow some formula or stick to some set rules....well, my thoughts have been echoed here before so I'll spare the expatiation.

Just my two cents...
 

SELF-MASTERY

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Originally posted by TekPh0bia
It's rather funny to see someone try to adapt a facet of another's personality (e.g., C+F).

Personally, I think a lot of things taught in the DJB are things that are learned, or you just naturally have them. You can't script a C+F occassion, nor can you do it, come back to the forum and ask if you did it right. You'll KNOW when you do it right. Perhaps before speaking, you ask yourself, "if someone said that to me (with a smile), how would I feel?" *shrug* I dunno.

I've been reading the posts here for a while, and it seems too many posters try to follow some formula or stick to some set rules....well, my thoughts have been echoed here before so I'll spare the expatiation.

Just my two cents...
I completely agree. If C&F. negs....etc. aren't congruent with your personality you will always fail. Figure out what your style is, and stick to it.
 

DonJuanMonk

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Originally posted by dannyme
Hey guys, I met a new coworker.
She's got gel (you know, the flaky type) on her back and it was on her shoulder.

I made fun of her and called it dandruff. My mistake for doing it in front of our colleagues and she said, "You pissed me off." And she stopped talking to me.

I didn't apologize but I stopped doing it. Did I do it right? Or should I have pushed on?

What should I do? Should I make fun of her on something else?
Bro, you messed up BIG TIME. What you should've done was save her face and say what you wanted to say in private. The passive route that many people take is say nothing.

There is nothing you can do about it but be nice for the rest of your work life with her
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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