"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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New "AMOG" technique: Shocking Invention

everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
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I'm amazed that guys have spent hours analyzing what they coulda/shoulda/oughta do to fend off "AMOGS". Here's what I suggest just because I think it would be funny to do:

Tell him you're going to show him something cool, then have your wing grab him while you give him an atomic wedgie. An atomic wedgie is where you try to actualy get the underwear over the head, in case you don't know. It would be even better if you had some people chant "Wedgie, Wedgie" during the ordeal.

That should take care of even the most 'leet PUAS :)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DonGorgon

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everywomanshero said:
I'm amazed that guys have spent hours analyzing what they coulda/shoulda/oughta do to fend off "AMOGS". Here's what I suggest just because I think it would be funny to do:

Tell him you're going to show him something cool, then have your wing grab him while you give him an atomic wedgie. An atomic wedgie is where you try to actualy get the underwear over the head, in case you don't know. It would be even better if you had some people chant "Wedgie, Wedgie" during the ordeal.

That should take care of even the most 'leet PUAS :)
Thats gay dude..:down:
 

Chillisauce

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The fact that he's an alpha male probably means thats he's bigger than you, after you physically assault him he's going to break your nose (i know i would) and then take the girl someplace quiet discussing how the world is filled with crazies.
 

DonGorgon

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Chillisauce said:
The fact that he's an alpha male probably means thats he's bigger than you, after you physically assault him he's going to break your nose (i know i would) and then take the girl someplace quiet discussing how the world is filled with crazies.
yeh and why would you wanna touch some dudes under ware anyway????????????????????????????????????
 

Chillisauce

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Hehe i cant pay someone else out for touching men, i'm learning BJJ. But really this is a terrible idea, if your having a problem with other guys just use silence and body language. Don't completely face him, when he makes a comment, hold one second of silence while looking at him then continue with your conversation.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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