New AFC's Mind War

[ColdCore]

Hello All. New AFC here, been reading the forums for about a month or so. Decided to post a situation here.

Befriended this married woman at my work about a year ago. We flirted back and forth for a while then kind of just fizzled out. Past few months she talked to me about wanting her breast done. I replied typical "It's your body do what you want. I think you look fine." She sent me pics of some her breast after the work was done. Last halloween, she asks to meet up with me for a bit after work. Talks more about her breasts and has me "feel" them to see if they felt swollen still. I take this as a sign she wants physical interaction. We started making out but didn't escalate as she needed to get back home.

Past month this has been the MO for her. We text, she says she wants to sleep with me.

Ex.
Her: You make me so horny
Me: What are you going to do about it?
Her: I want to @#$% you
Me: Then make it so
Her: When?
Me: Let's go right now.

Here she goes silent for an hour or so.
Then will text me "What are you doing"

I just stop replying. Ignored her for a weekend and Monday at work she says she doesn't like being grumpy with her. Told her we can talk later in person. Come to my office ( I work in an IT lab)
After her calls she comes by and we make out in the lab and then she "Has to go" pick up her kid. (Ok legitimate excuse whatever).
Couple days later, comes by after hours again for short make out session then has to go back to work.

WTF? I have been spinning a couple other plates, but can't figure this chick out. As soon as I cold shoulder her she gets a little more physical.

 

[AttackFormation]

I can tell you're still an AFC because your post is completely reactive. You don't way a word about what you want or what your personal values are.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Befriended (strike one)

this married woman (strike two)

at my work (strike three)


She's a dumb, cheating wh0re, and you're too much of an AFC to treat her like one.

 

[logicallefty]

Welcome to the forum. You are going to find mixed viewpoints here on fvcking another guy's woman. I personally do not touch women who are taken, but I will flirt and make my interests known for when they are single. Married or just BF/GF doesn't really matter I treat them the same. I wouldn't put any emotional investment in this woman. For one, again, because she is married.. And two, it sounds like she just wants to be chased, and has given you a bone with a little meat on it by making out with you. But I doubt she has any intentions of sleeping with you, based on your post. If I were you I would say "too bad you are married. Let me know when you are single, but don't wait too long or you might be too old for me". (even if she is younger than you are). I wouldn't give her anymore attention, go spend your time and energy on your other plates who are more likely to give you something back (like sex).

 

[ColdCore]

Yeah I gathered as much it would happen with the mixed views. Not worried about that. But appreciate the honesty. I hear you on the emotional investment. I'm better off eating off the other plates.

Edit: Note to Attack's reply. I see what you mean by reactive after re-reading example text. that's something I need to be aware in future with other plates.

 

[NSX-R]

No matter of how much alpha/player you are , trying to fck/play/ steal a married woman is the most AFC thing in my books.

 

[RangerMIke]

LOL... look, married women do this sort of thing all the time.. chances are nothing will come of it. I run into flirty married women all the time, they are just looking for a little validation that their hubby no longer gives them. Forget that she's married, and fvcking married chicks opens you up to WAY too much drama. But when a women says she wants to have sex with you do not say "Then make it so.". It's a man's job to make sex happen, it has to be your fault. Best way I can help you is by example, I'll take what she said and what you SHOULD have said:

Her: You make me so horny
WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID: Really? Prove it.
Her: I want to @#$% you
WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID: I'm not that easy I have to be wined and dinned. Grab a bottle of RED wine, I'll grill some steaks and come over to my place tonight we'll see how it goes.
Her: When?
WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID: Tonight, but if you can't make it let me know dates when you can, and I'll pick one that I'm not busy.

Then the ball is in her court. If she is serious and she wants you, she will come over. Otherwise just stop this stupid flirty texting BS, get to the point and make it happen yourself.

 

[AttackFormation]

Edit: Note to Attack's reply. I see what you mean by reactive after re-reading example text. that's something I need to be aware in future with other plates.

To be clear, I meant you're not saying what you want or what your personal values are to us (so we can advice you) - not to this woman.

Bible, lefty and Mike summed it up I think. My personal doctrine in this situation after she was unreceptive to sex would be to ignore the woman, which means I waste 0 thought or effort and give zero validation. Never initiate contact and don't put any energy or initiative into dealing with her. If she wants you to fvck her, she knows how to spell it out. She's just after your validation and satisfying her drives.

I'd just cut down further on what Mike said. When she began to talk about that

I'll quote Bible's post for emphasis.

Befriended (strike one)

this married woman (strike two)

at my work (strike three)


She's a dumb, cheating wh0re, and you're too much of an AFC to treat her like one.

 

[ColdCore]

LOL... look, married women do this sort of thing all the time.. chances are nothing will come of it. I run into flirty married women all the time, they are just looking for a little validation that their hubby no longer gives them. Forget that she's married, and fvcking married chicks opens you up to WAY too much drama. But when a women says she wants to have sex with you do not say "Then make it so.". It's a man's job to make sex happen, it has to be your fault. Best way I can help you is by example, I'll take what she said and what you SHOULD have said:

Her: You make me so horny
WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID: Really? Prove it.
Her: I want to @#$% you
WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID: I'm not that easy I have to be wined and dinned. Grab a bottle of RED wine, I'll grill some steaks and come over to my place tonight we'll see how it goes.
Her: When?
WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID: Tonight, but if you can't make it let me know dates when you can, and I'll pick one that I'm not busy.

Then the ball is in her court. If she is serious and she wants you, she will come over. Otherwise just stop this stupid flirty texting BS, get to the point and make it happen yourself.

@RangerMIke appreciate the response.
I am definitely understanding that it's more drama than I rather deal with. Figured it was an opportunity for no strings sex so f'it. See where it goes.

To be clear, I meant you're not saying what you want or what your personal values are to us (so we can advice you) - not to this woman.

Bible, lefty and Mike summed it up I think. My personal doctrine in this situation after she was unreceptive to sex would be to ignore the woman, which means I waste 0 thought or effort and give zero validation. Never initiate contact and don't put any energy or initiative into dealing with her. If she wants you to fvck her, she knows how to spell it out. She's just after your validation and satisfying her drives.

I'd just cut down further on what Mike said. When she began to talk about that

I'll quote Bible's post for emphasis.

@AttackFormation
I see what you mean here. And for me it was more of if she wants sex from me, fine. If not there are POF in the sea.
I'm not judging her actions as I do not want to develop a relationship with said woman (Just to note yes she is already in one but meaning more there is no emotional involvement).

Anyway this was more about the games being played not necessarily her situation which I gather now probably plays quite a bigger role in her actions.

 

[El Payaso]

LOL... look, married women do this sort of thing all the time.. chances are nothing will come of it. I run into flirty married women all the time, they are just looking for a little validation that their hubby no longer gives them. Forget that she's married, and fvcking married chicks opens you up to WAY too much drama. But when a women says she wants to have sex with you do not say "Then make it so.". It's a man's job to make sex happen, it has to be your fault. Best way I can help you is by example, I'll take what she said and what you SHOULD have said:

Her: You make me so horny
WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID: Really? Prove it.
Her: I want to @#$% you
WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID: I'm not that easy I have to be wined and dinned. Grab a bottle of RED wine, I'll grill some steaks and come over to my place tonight we'll see how it goes.
Her: When?
WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID: Tonight, but if you can't make it let me know dates when you can, and I'll pick one that I'm not busy.

Then the ball is in her court. If she is serious and she wants you, she will come over. Otherwise just stop this stupid flirty texting BS, get to the point and make it happen yourself.

I don't support sleeping with married women but these are excellent replies.