New Addition...

[-Elmo-]

Well here is another one of the old first post routines again....

I am without a doubt a prime example of an AFC and I've decided It's time to do something about this ("it's never too late" and all that jazz) so I guess posting on this forum is all part of the process

My first step in trying to do something about this was beginning to read "The Game" I literally haven't read a book for pleasure in about 7 years (Since School Days, I'm now 23) It's never been my thing, I always find I can't be bothered, loose interest or I think I'm too busy doing other stuff which seems more important at the time

I only started reading it last night and I'm currently on page 160. I have no doubt I will probably finish this book by the end of today at this rate, I literally can't put it down. For the first time in ages, I can understand why some people love books so much.

I can't believe it's taken me so long to do something about my stereotypical AFC situation but I am seriously excited at the prospect of turning it all around and what lies ahead.

I'm gonna head back to the book in a minute and hopefully make another dent in the page count, but I just wanted to ask.....
What's the general consensus on newbies posting recent stories/projects looking for advice?

"Jesus, It's all been discussed before, Just go search for it yourself"

or

"Fire Away! We're here to help and were interested in being nosey "

I guess we are all here to help each other and cram our heads full of as much useful advice as possible. Well I am anyway.....
Whilst trying to sort through the gems of information that apply to you personally whether it be the solutions to the stuff you've been doing wrong all these years or the reassurance that you're not doing everything totally wrong.

But looking around the forums I'm getting a vibe that sometimes there's an underlying tone of go search for it yourself and stop telling us your lame stories.

I'd genuinely like a few opinions and tips on a this mentioned project of mine which has inevitably contained the usual ingredients in the mixer. A lot of AFC behaviour on my part, IOI's, some one-itis, a total lack of being able to close and now a partial LJBF-ing which I pretty much did myself :crazy: .

I have quite proudly managed to supress the one-itis feelings for now and today is a "good day" on the road to recovery, I'm not entirely sure that trying to convert this situation into a LFRN/LTR is a healthy path to take for me at this early learning stage.

I'm more unsure how to use this project to the best of my advantage and take the most of it in life lessons. I'm heading out into London tomorrow so I'd like to change my game plan as much as possible in the next 24 Hours and this post is an attempt to do that.

I realise obviously this whole game improving process is not gonna blossom in 1 day, but I'm a firm believer you have to start somewhere and a night out in London is a prime opportunity to practice upping my game and hopefully begin sarging as a new improved person

This post is longer than I intented Just wasted valuable reading time there

Thanks for bothering to read this rubbish

 

[omega05]

nah go ahead and post your story. my first post was a situation i was experiencing

 

[-Elmo-]

Ok I will post an insight into my Current story then I'll try to keep it short. But Lets see how that goes....

My line of work is seriously outbalanced when it comes to man/woman ratio. I deal with blokes all the time and it's the kind of office where you can see the jaws open on the nerdy guys when there's a remotely attractive female on site. It's a terrible environment to be in. So....

Back at the end of July this placement girl starts working at the other end of the building. Shes easily a 9, potential 9.5 I'm thinking. Short (5ft2) but so cute, young looking but had to be a similar age to me. Shes working with the nicest women on the site who is also easily an 8.5, the sort that looks like shes 30, but is actual 45, dresses to impress etc. So the placement girl has a good start which means she must be pretty switched on etc.

Everyone has to walk past my desk to leave so its inevitable this girl was gonna. Our eyes met straight away, we both exchanged a few seconds and she stopped the conversation she was having with the 8.5 female who was walking out with her. It was textbook stuff. Definite eye contact and IOI.

This happens a couple more days in a row and its so obvious she's almost crashing into things as she leaves the building we are staring at each other for that long. I make a point of having lunch off site and walking past her end of the building which i would never usually have to do, and same again, come to bed eyes, big smiles. excellent.

Being an AFC I've obviously been thinking about her every night and haven't done anything yet, everyone in the office is saying how nice she is, etc etc. So I decide to man up and as I'm getting a coffee the next day i just go and say hi at her desk @ lunch.

shes so happy i came over, We get chatting and after I calmed the hell down and stopped feeling so anxious we are really getting on well. shes saying how its nice I'm the only person in the building to bother saying hello to her etc, blah blah. Turns out she German and on site for 3 months till end of Sept. I ask her if she fancies going out some time and shes so delighted i asked, and goes on about taking her to parties etc. So we exchange numbers and i give her my work email and i return to my desk. Job done went pretty well, I'm quite proud of myself.

So We chat on the emails and she gives me a cheeky smile as she leaves the building as per usual.

Ok now I'm rambling i need to cut this down....

I ring her the next day and arrange to go out for drinks, I pick her up give her a kiss on the cheek and a hug, all felt very natural. I can feel the one-itis coming on strong now everytime we stare at each other, its these longing gazes, and shes so hot yadda yadda blah blah....

we go to a few bars, conversation is excellent, she asking to take picture of us together on her camera etc. We have a photo next to a statue i put my arm round her its all very sweet (perhaps too sweet) she wants to go dancing, i don't have a problem with this, but i don't confess to be Justin Timberlake. I have enough confidence to do it, again with these come to bed eyes, she tells me ive got good rhythm and all this crap.... etc.

the date lasts roughly 8 hours, we did some intense chatting and she said "its great we are on the same wavelength" we chatted how cool it was we were both single etc

I drop her off, we have an intense hug i bottle it and kiss her on the cheek and she.....pats me on the back? WTF is that?

I'll swap to bullet points now.

- we kept talking at work its still great etc etc.
- i go on holiday for 1 week
- she goes for 3 weeks after........thats one month gap
- We email and text prob 5/6 times over the month as i try to make it look
like i'm not too bothered. i also wrote her name in the sand on the beach and sent her a picture. not sure if this was a good or bad idea, but she
seemed to love it. she tells me shes looking forward to seeing me again.
- when we return we go for a meal with people at work, i drop her off and
kiss her on the cheek AGAIN..............big error.
- few days later another placement guy arrives on the scene, she suggests
going out as a 3, i know whats coming here but i agree anyway. its almost the same as the first date, but with this other guy and i invited a couple of friends to asses her too.
- I drop her off and this other dude, make sure i drop her last. then i say
probably the worst sentence of my whole life. "I like you more than friends, but I'm not sure if you feel the same"

I've never said this to anyone before, usually its a close on the first date, but i clearly cant deal with the fact this girl is now a definite 9.5. Anyway she says......did i behave in a way to make you think something ?? i really like black guys and i want black babies some day. First off, you've prob guess i'm not black and 2nd this came as a massive shock, because nothing was ever mentioned about it before. plus i don't believe that girls actually know what they want, they just think they do.

I said no it's ok, i just wanted to make sure. and then we kind of kissed her on the cheek AGAIN and she gave me the sexy eyes again as she went into the house.

Since then she still emails me just as she did before but i've backed off taking longer to reply. I haven't seen her in the flesh since, but it doesn't feel awkward.

Have i officially LJBF-ed myself. I don't know if to cut all strings or keep her as a hot friend? theres only 3 weeks left and she will go home and I will prob never see her again. so i want to get the most from the situation but am unsure what that is. we are both heading out tomorrow and she has 2 friends visiting from germany wiht her and shes asked me for advice on where to go out, but I haven't responded yet. i have an awesome house party i could take her too, but surely it can only be friends from now on....

i think the main problem is i become a different person when the girl is 8.5+ i just bottle it

 

[Desdinova]

I'm going to tell you something that every noob should know... You ARE going to fvck up. There's no way in hell you're going to read all this stuff and pull it off 100% first time out in the field. Gaining the knowledge is just the start, applying it is the challenge. As with everything, practice makes perfect.

With that said DO NOT expect to succeed with this woman to the point of marriage. You need to fvck up a LOT out in the field to get things 100%.

Have i officially LJBF-ed myself. I don't know if to cut all strings or keep her as a hot friend?

You can only figure that out by asking her out again. If she drops a roadblock, then you'll have your answer. If she agrees to another date, then she's still interested.

 

[WhoIsThatGirl?]

1. she's leaving soon
2. she says she wants a black guy and black babies

this is a great opportunity for you to do alot of experimenting. pull every trick you got out. cuz this ain't long term. everyone has different tastes. u done something right to get her to hang with you in the first place. so go for it. do whatever you can and learn from it. and work on other girls in the mean time. u have her up on a pedestal some bro.

good luck...

 

[base2ball2boy2]

Mmmm.... I don't think you've screwed it up beyond repair yet...

My advice is to play it cool for the next month. I'd reduce your contacts by a bit, but hint that you have big plans for you guys when she comes back. You can say something like...
You: "Sorry, babe, been kinda busy. Between work and getting ready for your ultra-hot date with me when you get back, I haven't had much chance to sit and chit-chat. (Note that you aren't giving her a choice about going out with you...)
Her: OMG! What are we going to do, hot stuff. youhavetotellmerightnow...
You: You'll have to wait until... Sh8t! I gotta go! I'm going to [insert excuse here, preferably something many. I like "climbing Mt. Everest."]. See ya later.

Or something along these lines. What you're trying to do is build up her interest. You want her excited about what's going to happen when she gets back...

And now the stage is set. Now I don't know what kind of a chef you are, but I'd recommended practicing.

I'd pick her up/meet up with her mid-afternoon Saturday or some other day you mutually have free. First you go do something! Laser tag, bowling, roller derby skating, etc. There are plenty of good date ideas on this site and in the Bible (have you read that yet?).

So while the days wanes, and you two are having fun, you have to be using the skills you've learned. The one I would keep it mind is kino. You haven't been, what we like to say, "sexualizing" the relationship between you and her, and kino will do exactly that.

So now onto the final act. As the sun dips behind the horizon, she's obviously getting hungry. So you turn to her and ask:
"Hungry?"
"A bit...." (Woman being wishy-washy)
"Good, cuz you are going to be treated to a one-of-a-kind homemade dinner with me!"

So you take her back to your place (assuming you live alone). You have all the ingredients for a spectacular meal with her. So you have the meal along with some Cabernet, dim the lights a bit, etc...

So now is the moment of truth. I'm assuming that you are after carnal pursuits, so this is where you will make your move. Since you've been using kino the entire date, she's ready for the kiss. Make it creative and special.

Then let your gut take over. If you can get this far (the kiss), you've got the green light for a round tripper.


So there. I wish you the best of luck. And when in doubt, do what your hormones say.

 

[-Elmo-]

Cheers for the input guys. I totally agree that the more complex tactics will 100% fail if i try them straight away.

base2ball2boy2 i totally see what you mean about kino, she seems quite shy when it comes to Kino she doesn't seem to avidly initiate much kino (maybe i should take this as a sign) but then again I was messing with her in a restaurant helping her learn to use chopsticks any excuse to touch her hands and she responded fine to that.

The dilemma i have at the moment is....she emailed me this week asking for cool places to go in london on a night out (tonight) with 2 other friends that are visiting. As of yet i haven't replied (keeping some distance)....

But I am actually heading to meet some guys in london tonight so I'm thinking of asking her if she fancies meeting up (with her friends too)

This way i can check her friends out too spent some time with her and reassess the situation possibly ignore her really badly and try some techniques on her friends and see the response?

or do i just enjoy a nice weekend on my own sarging with some guy friends and then maybe reply if she contacts me next week saying "Yeh i was in London actually it was awesome, ah you were there too? and you didnt know where to go because i never told you.......Ah nevermind.

see the dilemma i mean? Cut loose or keep around and practice....hmmm

Literally she will be gone forever in 25 days, i have totally nothing to loose here.