Never tell a chick you like her

[Faddy]

Had a semi oneitis with this one girl, so i tried to be smart and sent her a message that i liked her but i wont pursue her because it would've made it awkward between us and ruined our friendship. She replied with "I appreciate so much the good friend you were to me back there. I also appreciate that you ddin´t want to ruin our friendship because that would have made me really sad"

Bam in the friendship zone and forever alone,haha im such an AFC
Anyway just felt like posting that,just my 2 cents

 

[evansblue]

That post is so 1997, lol.

 

[bigneil]

Yes you should only let them know you like them through action (kissing them, for example).

A woman will think of a man as a friend OR lover but not both, so the first mistake was telling her you cared about the friendship. She then took it to a whole new level with award-winning BS (her reply should make any SS member want to vomit).

Sadly, this is a done deal. Don't be her friend either. She's no friend. No contact.

And drop the "forever alone" mentality immediately. Keep improving and you'll suddenly go from zero women to 2 or more (rarely just 1).

 

[Johnnyventana]

Write back, "get ready to be sad!"

 

[TheManOfSteel]

That message you sent to her makes me want to cringe. Use this as a learning experience, and don't ever send anything like to a woman again. Cheers!

 

[TheJazz]

^ What they said. I just have to add though,

A woman will think of a man as a friend OR lover but not both

Erm, no. Many, if not all successful marriages work because the man and woman involved love each other sexually and there is some level of friendship and camaraderie involved as well. They simply make a good team. Bigneil, if what you say is true, the woman will either 1) dump the man after sex when her libido's low if she sees him as only a lover or 2) dump the man if he tries to have sex with her if she sees him as only a friend. That's obviously not the case for the few who get it right and stay married and in love for 10+ years. Good relationships are all about the balance.

 

[bigneil]

You haven't done your homework Jazz.

From Louis/Copeland (2000):

Myth #2 - Just be nice and interesting enough and you'll get a woman.
This is another horrible myth promoted by SNAGS (sensitive new age guys) and feminist men. Believing that being nice and interesting will work is one of the worst ideas promoted over the past 20 years. Do you really think women are looking for "nice" guys anyway? (The answer is an emphatic no.)

The bottom line is that women want to be SEDUCED and ROMANCED. Most men think that if they like a woman, and she says that he is "sweet," "interesting," or "a wonderful friend," that he is moving the relationship towards romance and sex. This is dead wrong.

The reason why is because women will either put you into the category of "friend" or "lover," but not both. When you are nice and interesting a woman will likely put you into the category of friend, but not lover.

If you don't believe this, just look around at all the jerks who have sex with the hottest women. Women certainly are not having sex with these guys in every position imaginable because they are interesting, intellectually stimulating, and polite. No, these women are hot and heavy because these men are exciting, romantic, fun, and even a bit dangerous.

 

[TheJazz]

Neil, what you're talking about will yield endless amounts of sex in loads of different, unimaginable positions. There's absolutely no doubt in that. People will be able to obtain tons upon tons of unbelievable hollow, meaningless sex without strings that way. However, for something more fruitful and long term, a balance between friendship and sexual attraction must be struck. It's like this:


_________<-----------------------o------------------------>
Meaningless sex________________________"sweet", "interesting" friendzoned chump

Either extreme isn't satisfactory for a proper relationship. One extreme leads to just meaningless sex without strings, the other leads to the guy being in the friend zone and totally de-sexualized. The middle ground (the o) is where you have the benefits of both, sexual relations, and the fulfillment and happiness of a relationship. I think that's really what all so called "hardened PUAs" and Don Juans are after deep down inside, under their callused exteriors. If not, I must be mistaken.

 

[bigneil]

I see what you're saying Jazz.

My point is, as Louis/Copeland stated, that being their friend is not going to get you closer to being a lover.

Once you are their lover, you can be their friend also (and this does mean a lot to women). But you must be their lover first.

 

[TheJazz]

Agreed.