Never Reach Out First After Smashing

[EyeBRollin]

Waiting a couple of days is good practice. 5-9 is too long and frankly silly. Assuming you like her and care if you see her again. It reflects insecurity, weakness, a cry for reassurance and most savvy women know it's a game and will laugh at the silliness of it.

I can say with 100% certainty this is flat out wrong.

 

[JoyDivision1990]

I can say with 100% certainty this is flat out wrong.

Far be it for me to argue with your experiences however you admitted yourself waiting 5-9 is a sort of shyt test to determine if she will reach out first.

Hence in your mind, providing you the reassurance you obviously needed that she was interested.

Confident balanced men don't need reassurance. Confident men know she's interested, hell she just f*cked you FFS, what more reassurance do you need?

It's a game and a silly one and most women with two brain cells to rub together know that. Just because they didn't tell you they knew it didn't make it so. They knew.

 

[Solomon]

It worked for me right up until I met my wife in 2021.



Generally true. Not an absolute. Some chicks simply will not chase, especially in the first few weeks.

If it works for you and you like it I love it (no sarcasm)
Congratulations on your marriage, do you find marriage life difficult after being single for a while or was the transition easy for you?

 

[Omar the learner]

This is true. This forum can be confusing sometimes because many of you preach how you want a 'feminine, submissive' woman but then on the other hand, you expect her to be masculine, take the lead and chase. @BeExcellent has written about this and imo you'd be wise to listen to her.

Yeah, the insecure ones who lack self esteem, self-respect and seek your validation and approval will reach out first after sex, it has very little to do with any genuine interest in you as a person and man.

It's about validation/approval, and unless you're seeking a quick hook up, such girl will become a huge PITA, chasing your arse and not allowing you a moment of space and peace. Classic Cluster B in many cases.

I agree with the Duke when you're vibing with a chick, it doesn't really matter who reaches out first, you're too busy vibing and f*cking to worry about it. It's about balance and common sense.

But generally, if you seek a feminine submissive woman, for gawd's sake give her the opportunity to behave like one and YOU take the masculine role and LEAD.

Waiting a couple of days is good practice. 5-9 is too long and frankly silly. Assuming you like her and care if you see her again. It reflects insecurity, weakness, a cry for reassurance and most savvy women know it's a game and will laugh at the silliness of it.

Leave the silly game playing strategies to woman and believe me they have plenty up their sleeve.

Act with confidence, strength, and purpose, assume she is interested (why wouldn't she be should be the attitude) and be MEN. Lead.

Referring to what most veterans laid out here, masculine men persue, girls chase.
I did my part until we hooked up, ( i tried setting up a date couple of times where I was the one intiating) . Once sex happened, my pursuit ends and her chasing begins.

Again, at no point my intention was to attract them back, this is an observation that lasted one year now and it's relevant to the current market.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Confident balanced men don't need reassurance. Confident men know she's interested, hell she just f*cked you FFS, what more reassurance do you need?

Men plan, women react. Men waiting to have her reach out is about establishing a larger pattern of healthy distance and boundaries. You’re not simply validating her interest, you’re setting the tone for her, not you, that daddy can go out for the day and he’s still going to come back. It’s got more than one use.

Nonetheless , I smashed a college girl in the prior winter and we never spoke after. She took my call a week later about an innocuous question and not surprisingly we never saw each other again.

 

[JoyDivision1990]

Referring to what most veterans laid out here, masculine men persue, girls chase.

What's the difference?

Men pursue = they initiate, they plan. They LEAD. That's masculine. Feminine women respond to his pursuit, positively and enthusiastically.

Insecure girls chase men who don't lead. For attention and validation.

Your choice as to the type of girl you want. And type of relationship you want. I have no argument either way.

Masculine/feminine polarity. Yin and yang. Which is the natural order of things.

You simply can't have it both ways. It won't work assuming you want something long term.

Hook ups don't apply.

 

[BeExcellent]

This is true. This forum can be confusing sometimes because many of you preach how you want a 'feminine, submissive' woman but then on the other hand, you expect her to be masculine, take the lead and chase. @BeExcellent has written about this and imo you'd be wise to listen to her.

Yeah, the insecure ones who lack self esteem, self-respect and seek your validation and approval will reach out first after sex, it has very little to do with any genuine interest in you as a person and man.

It's about validation/approval, and unless you're seeking a quick hook up, such girl will become a huge PITA, chasing your arse and not allowing you a moment of space and peace. Classic Cluster B in many cases.

I agree with the Duke when you're vibing with a chick, it doesn't really matter who reaches out first, you're too busy vibing and f*cking to worry about it. It's about balance and common sense.

But generally, if you seek a feminine submissive woman, for gawd's sake give her the opportunity to behave like one and YOU take the masculine role and LEAD.

Waiting a couple of days is good practice. 5-9 is too long and frankly silly. Assuming you like her and care if you see her again. It reflects insecurity, weakness, a cry for reassurance and most savvy women know it's a game and will laugh at the silliness of it.

Leave the silly game playing strategies to woman and believe me they have plenty up their sleeve.

Act with confidence, strength, and purpose, assume she is interested (why wouldn't she be should be the attitude) and be MEN. Lead.

I endorse the above 100%. And I dated (and married) the playboys. I never chase. Never.

Lions need the hunt. Lionesses understand that.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I endorse the above 100%. And I dated (and married) the playboys. I never chase. Never.

Lions need the hunt. Lionesses understand that.

If you’re not getting the warm and fuzzies where you want to say hi after I screw you I don’t think I see it going long term anyway.

 

[BeExcellent]

If you’re not getting the warm and fuzzies where you want to say hi after I screw you I don’t think I see it going long term anyway.

Understood. But a woman worth having will expect the man to initiate. She has to have enough value of course. You can’t tell me a girl you were 100% smitten with had to chase after you. Nope. I don’t believe that for :02. Men fall all over themselves for a girl they are into. And women simply let him chase (pursue) until she catches him.

Smart desirable women have been doing this forever .

 

[Divorced w 3]

Understood. But a woman worth having will expect the man to initiate. She has to have enough value of course. You can’t tell me a girl you were 100% smitten with had to chase after you. Nope. I don’t believe that for :02. Men fall all over themselves for a girl they are into. And women simply let him chase (pursue) until she catches him.

Smart desirable women have been doing this forever .

Okay. So I wait let’s say three days. You’re so incensed at this point you call me up just to tell me that nobody pumps and dumps you, you’re not that girl. You know I took you out to a great dinner, we had a great time talking and flirting and twirling your hair and then we fvcked like rabbits but nonetheless how dare I , right? Then I tell you I had to fly down to Florida to help my mom last minute. Your move princess

 

[JoyDivision1990]

Men fall all over themselves for a girl they are into.

Well that can be a problem too. No one should be falling over themselves for anyone, men or women. Exercise good judgment, balance and common sense.

Not sure why some men believe (falsely) if she's not chasing your arse after sexual intimacy especially first time sex, she doesn't have the warm and fuzzies.

Where does that mindset come from? Insecurity? Why assume the worst and intentionally shyt test by waiting to call?

Why not assume she's mad for you but she's a feminine submissive woman and needs you to be a masculine man and lead? At least initially.

 

[JoyDivision1990]

You’re so incensed at this point you call me up just to tell me that nobody pumps and dumps you, you’re not that girl.

Lord, stay away from chicks who say this to you, they've got issues plain and simple. You want a woman who is sweet-natured, feminine and patient.

Then I tell you I had to fly down to Florida to help my mom last minute. Your move princess

If you reached out after sex and told her this, then yeah absolutely, next move is HERS, even if only to wish you a good trip and she's looking forward to seeing you when you return.

Your move. Reach out when you get back and make a plan. Lead.

 

[BeExcellent]

Okay. So I wait let’s say three days. You’re so incensed at this point you call me up just to tell me that nobody pumps and dumps you, you’re not that girl. You know I took you out to a great dinner, we had a great time talking and flirting and twirling your hair and then we fvcked like rabbits but nonetheless how dare I , right? Then I tell you I had to fly down to Florida to help my mom last minute. Your move princess

Adjust your assumptions. I’d never be the chick worried about not hearing from you on day 3, or day 4. Why? I’m overrun with options. So if I like you? I’m patient. If someone else grabs my attention while you are playing games? Oh well.

You see a girl like me understands that a desirable man also has options. And she understands her own value. If you aren’t feeling it? Move along. I’ll wait for someone who IS feeling it. If I’m into you? I’ll be compliant, submissive and fun. I’ll engage but you’re gonna have to be the man in the interaction. That’s not my job.

The players reached out same day, next day without exception but at times life gets in the way. Maybe early on he’s seeing a rotation. I’m not stupid. I also know that chances are I’m his best option. So I’m patient while he figures that out, and I’m talking to other interested men too, so if he misses the boat?

His loss.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Adjust your assumptions. I’d never be the chick worried about not hearing from you on day 3, or day 4. Why? I’m overrun with options. So if I like you? I’m patient. If someone else grabs my attention while you are playing games? Oh well.

You see a girl like me understands that a desirable man also has options. And she understands her own value. If you aren’t feeling it? Move along. I’ll wait for someone who IS feeling it. If I’m into you? I’ll be compliant, submissive and fun. I’ll engage but you’re gonna have to be the man in the interaction. That’s not my job.

The players reached out same day, next day without exception but at times life gets in the way. Maybe early on he’s seeing a rotation. I’m not stupid. I also know that chances are I’m his best option. So I’m patient while he figures that out, and I’m talking to other interested men too, so if he misses the boat?

His loss.

Okay, day 5, 7, still haven’t heard from me. But we had such a nice time, it was so fun, genuine, we dated multiple times leading up, it was fairytale. This total silence all of a sudden is so out of character. You’re not reaching out? You’re not even making sure I’m okay, taking the time to find out if something went wrong? Next, not my type of girl.

Maybe this is why one of the first women I ever slept with after college, a former miss America contestant who I drove a quarter of the way across the country to meet from myspace, is still single and moved recently across the Atlantic. Wouldn’t know, never called her. Did follow each other on the gram though and she still remembers our inside joke all these years later. Take it or leave it.

 

[BeExcellent]

Okay, day 5, 7, still haven’t heard from me. But we had such a nice time, it was so fun, genuine, we dated multiple times leading up, it was fairytale. This total silence all of a sudden is so out of character. You’re not reaching out? You’re not even making sure I’m okay, taking the time to find out if something went wrong? Next, not my type of girl.

Maybe this is why one of the first women I ever slept with after college, a former miss America contestant who I drove a quarter of the way across the country to meet from myspace, is still single and moved recently across the Atlantic. Wouldn’t know, never called her. Did follow each other on the gram though and she still remembers our inside joke all these years later. Take it or leave it.

You are too needy for me in that case. Too in your head. I’ve been proposed to thrice, married twice and I know how to handle myself and men who are accustomed to gorgeous women.

So yeah. I expect the man to act like a man and reach out. If he doesn’t (which I’ve not had that experience in all fairness), then he’s simply not into the chick sufficiently. I’ve seen it happen to other women & so I know a man not reaching out = low interest.

Never entertain low interest people. The problem, for men, is that if you don’t reach out? You’ll miss out on the best women who expected a man to take the man’s role.

I just tell it how it is, Princess

 

[JoyDivision1990]

Okay, day 5, 7, still haven’t heard from me. But we had such a nice time, it was so fun, genuine, we dated multiple times leading up, it was fairytale. This total silence all of a sudden is so out of character. You’re not reaching out? You’re not even making sure I’m okay, taking the time to find out if something went wrong? Next, not my type of girl.

So why was it you never reached out? I mean since it was such a fairytale and all.

Oops forgot, you needed her to show she was worried about you.

Gotcha.

 

[Divorced w 3]

You are too needy for me in that case. Too in your head. I’ve been proposed to thrice, married twice and I know how to handle myself and men who are accustomed to gorgeous women.

So yeah. I expect the man to act like a man and reach out. If he doesn’t (which I’ve not had that experience in all fairness), then he’s simply not into the chick sufficiently. I’ve seen it happen to other women & so I know a man not reaching out = low interest.

Never entertain low interest people. The problem, for men, is that if you don’t reach out? You’ll miss out on the best women who expected a man to take the man’s role.

I just tell it how it is, Princess

That’s okay. As I said, I was great to you for let’s say the three to four weeks leading up. Dated, genuine phone calls, nice places and a good time. And then I fall off the planet. You don’t want to find out how I am doing? You’re so into yourself that I may have gotten hit by a car, or as I said I’m down in Florida on short notice helping my mother who’s obviously in some sort of problem? You think I’m going to drop what I’m doing to reach out to you? Somehow, I think I will manage.

 

[BeExcellent]

That’s okay. As I said, I was great to you for let’s say the three to four weeks leading up. Dated, genuine phone calls, nice places and a good time. And then I fall off the planet. You don’t want to find out how I am doing? You’re so into yourself that I may have gotten hit by a car, or as I said I’m down in Florida on short notice helping my mother who’s obviously in some sort of problem? You think I’m going to drop what I’m doing to reach out to you? Somehow, I think I will manage.

Lol. Move the goal posts much? The thread is about reaching out after sex. So unless you are having this sexless romance for 4 weeks, then essentially becoming so insecure that now you need the chick to validate you? Four weeks in? Pass.

Absolute bullet dodged.

But I’d weed you out based on your behavior long before then.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Lol. Move the goal posts much? The thread is about reaching out after sex. So unless you are having this sexless romance for 4 weeks, then essentially becoming so insecure that now you need the chick to validate you? Four weeks in? Pass.

Absolute bullet dodged.

But I’d weed you out based on your behavior long before then.

No need to be a meanie, the personality style is just not my type.

 

[BadBoy89]

This forum can be confusing sometimes because many of you preach how you want a 'feminine, submissive' woman but then on the other hand, you expect her to be masculine, take the lead and chase.

Not confusing at all.

If the woman is between 18-29. men want a “feminine, submissive‘ women that is fertile, can get pregnant, and deliver a healthy baby.
If the woman is over 30, men want a masculine, take the lead“ women who shares half the expenses.

Generally, men are traditionalists if the woman is between 18-29. They become feminists once the women turns 30 years old.

Everything depends on the woman’s age.