Never "Hang Out"

[Atom Smasher]

No, I don't mean you should check your fly before leaving for work every morning, although that's not a bad idea.

I'm talking about something I see repeatedly on this forum... Guys pining away for a girl who rejected him after he says, "Maybe we can hang out some time".

That is a sure-fire road to rejection because it is vague and shows a mind-set of indecision.

Women hate that vagueness, and well they should. They are looking for a man who can take charge, and here you are sticking a toe in the water to see if just maybe she will respond to your hint about possibly getting together for who-knows-what someday. This reeks of weakness.

Instead, have a plan, and invite her to join you, even if it's just getting together for some coffee. Example:

"Listen, I've got to run, but I'd like to continue this conversation over coffee this weekend. Give me your number and we'll arrange to get together for some more stimulating conversation".

This conveys to her that you are a strong, take-charge guy with a plan.

"Hanging out" is high school sh!t. Get over it. You're a man.

 

[Phenomenal One]

Women hate that vagueness, and well they should. They are looking for a man who can take charge, and here you are sticking a toe in the water to see if just maybe she will respond to your hint about possibly getting together for who-knows-what someday. This reeks of weakness.

woman only hate vagueness when they're on the wrong side of it.

 

[BongDuy]

i thought vague was a good thing, because you have more options that way. like instead of saying, "let's go to the movies", you replace it with a "let's hang out", you can bring her back to your place, her place, movies, or anywhere.

 

[#41]

This is one area where I feel competent to give out advice -- I'm terrible at approaching, but once I get involved in a conversation, I usually have good results at getting a number and not having a flake on the first date.

I agree that the term "Hang Out" conveys an image of a guy that still likes getting sh¡tfaced in a friend's basement -- but I disagree that you need to make plans immediately to look "like a man." The mistake of "hanging out" is that it does not indicate your intentions clearly. You want this girl's number because you want to go on a date. You want it to be the two of you, doing something together, building towards something (in her mind: relationship, in your mind: sex). "Hanging out" throws ambiguity into the mix -- you "hang out" with friends to watch a football game, you "hang out" when you have no plans in mind. You want the situation framed correctly because you want HER to know that you want more than just friendly company.

And you want that because SHE wants that too. She wants more than friendly company, otherwise she 1.) Wouldn't be talking to you in a pick-up situation, 2.) Wouldn't be giving you her number.

Thus -- be firm when getting the number. Don't waffle around or be apologetic for your interest -- make it clear you want the number because you want to see her again.

"Hey, I'd love to see you again. Give me your number and I'll give you a call."

It doesn't have to be complex. Get the number, dip, and let her wonder when the call is coming, what the date will be, etc.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

No, I don't mean you should check your fly before leaving for work every morning, although that's not a bad idea.

I'm talking about something I see repeatedly on this forum... Guys pining away for a girl who rejected him after he says, "Maybe we can hang out some time".

That is a sure-fire road to rejection because it is vague and shows a mind-set of indecision.

Women hate that vagueness, and well they should. They are looking for a man who can take charge, and here you are sticking a toe in the water to see if just maybe she will respond to your hint about possibly getting together for who-knows-what someday. This reeks of weakness.

Instead, have a plan, and invite her to join you, even if it's just getting together for some coffee. Example:

"Listen, I've got to run, but I'd like to continue this conversation over coffee this weekend. Give me your number and we'll arrange to get together for some more stimulating conversation".

This conveys to her that you are a strong, take-charge guy with a plan.

"Hanging out" is high school sh!t. Get over it. You're a man.

Thank you Mr. Cut & Paste David De'angelo! LOL


Solid advice nonetheless!




PIMP

 

[zekko]

I hate the term "hang out" myself, for whatever reason. Probably because I'm an old fuddy duddy. But I've seen it work just fine for the younger folks around here. They get to go on a date but call it "hanging out" (ugh), so there's no pressure. They can be friends, lovers, or both at a moment's notice. In any case, I haven't seen it turn off the girls any, in fact they use it more than the guys.

 

[trent81]

I learned this the hard way, the OP is correct. Always say "lets go eat, lets go fuvk, lets go watch a movie, lets go --------" FUVK HANGING OUT.

 

[CaliGuyInLondon]

doesn't Neil Strauss talk about using that as a great way to time constrain in The Game? he says he never asks a chick out on a date, always to hang out and get coffeee...i guess thats where im confused, maybe I misinteprted it, and if so how is that meant to be interpreted?

 

[marinetti]

I agree with this post. In theory, you should be the kind of guy who has some passions in life and has something better to offer than "let's hang out sometime". That kind of vagueness shows the lack of an archetype and a lifestyle, and so suggesting "hanging out" will likely on win you bland girls who don't have much in their own life.

An active girl doesn't have time to "hang out". Neither should an active guy.

 

[Hot Ice Casanova]

Hanging Out is a disgusting term to women IF you use it as an excuse to get their phone number.

HOWEVER, the word itself is not all that bad if you use it in a stimulating phone conversation or if you've already done a first "date". (I hope you all kissed her on the first date otherwise you're LOSERS) - sorry but I have to be blunt, girls who don't even KISS on a first date are either not worth the effort, OR you simply had LOUSY game. You need some frickin' ATTRACTION and "romance" to even risk a "hang out". I personally "go out", not "hang out".

*LOUSY game is *ANY* sort of pickup where you are TOO AFRAID TO USE KINO!!!!! Seriously, just touch her hand! touch her shoulder! massage her neck!

ANY KINO is better than no kino, even if you're awkward it will show you how to improve and what NOT to do.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Thank you Mr. Cut & Paste David De'angelo! LOL

Solid advice nonetheless!

PIMP

I've never read a single thing by David De'angelo. I only know he's the "Double Your Dating" guy (haven't read it).

You've got my curiosity up...what did I say that reminds you of him?

 

[nismo-4]

Asking to hang out is basically asking to be rejected.

Invite her out for a light coffee date or some sh*t.

I don't even know what's in the Double your dating book.

 

[omega05]

what are the alternatives to coffee?

 

[Nancy_Reborn!!!!!]

This is so stupid

why do you guys obsess over meaningless terms?

 

[LovelyLady]

It's my turn, PK
From http://www.drinkswap.com/drinks/detail.asp?recipe_id=5626


Nutty B**** ****tail Recipe

Ingredients My Bar
1/2 oz Frangelico Hazelnut Liqueur
1 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Peppermint Schnapps
1 oz Coffee Liqueur
1/2 oz Irish Cream
1 oz Cream

Directions
Pour first 5 ingredients into a stainless steel container over ice and shake until completely cold. Strain into a large rocks or old-fashioned glass filled with ice. Top with frangelico and serve.


Serve in a Old-Fashioned Glass

 

[davewe]

This is so stupid

why do you guys obsess over meaningless terms?

I agree, but must admit that despite being an old codger, I like the hang out term. My current girl and I have never been on a date - from the start we just decided to "hang out."

Let's face it, where are you more likely to get laid - at Starbucks or her place?

But i do agree that some girls require a modest 1st date.