Never had a girlfriend at 29 years old

[Jordi84]

I wonder, do you think for every male late bloomer forever loner there is a female late bloomer, forever loner as well? Or do you think there are far more human male late bloomers, forever loners?

Surely the second, for a girl is easier given that in seduction her role can be passive and winning, for a male it must be almost always active.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Surely the second, for a girl is easier given that in seduction her role can be passive and winning, for a male it must be almost always active.

yeah well people always say for every girl that has a boyfriend, that guy has a girlfriend, it gets annoying when they make that comment whenever there is a debate about which gender has it easier in dating and relationships in terms of getting one, because obviously the guy has to do the work in order to make it happen, I don't see how that gives a guy power and control, obviously women have the final say, ever heard the saying that "women do the choosing"? even this guy says so:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTYbtgh6fwo

 

[Mike32ct]

yeah well people always say for every girl that has a boyfriend, that guy has a girlfriend, it gets annoying when they make that comment whenever there is a debate about which gender has it easier in dating and relationships in terms of getting one, because obviously the guy has to do the work in order to make it happen, I don't see how that gives a guy power and control, obviously women have the final say, ever heard the saying that "women do the choosing"? even this guy says so:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTYbtgh6fwo

Correct. Plus that assumes that all relationships are exclusive bf/gf arrangements.

With today's FWB "plate spinning" arrangements, several girls could be serviced by one guy.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Correct. Plus that assumes that all relationships are exclusive bf/gf arrangements.

With today's FWB "plate spinning" arrangements, several girls could be serviced by one guy.

yeah exactly, and it's commonly argued and accepted that women are the gatekeepers to sex, and I believe that to be true, but yeah it would not surprise me if there are more male late bloomers than female late bloomers in the dating/relationship game

 

[Mike32ct]

yeah exactly, and it's commonly argued and accepted that women are the gatekeepers to sex, and I believe that to be true, but yeah it would not surprise me if there are more male late bloomers than female late bloomers in the dating/relationship game

I'm sure male late bloomers greatly outnumber female late bloomers, and I expect that trend to continue. I don't have any stats; it's just my gut feeling.


Back to the OP...

OP:

Based on everything I read about you, all you really have to do is ask women out. My guess is you only meet women in group settings, so you don't get any one-on-one time with them. Invite one of these females out for a drink. Then feel free to post a new thread about that or PM one of us. We can walk you through it. It should be fairly easy to at LEAST get a kiss. Then you can go from there.

 

[Jordi84]

I'm sure male late bloomers greatly outnumber female late bloomers, and I expect that trend to continue. I don't have any stats; it's just my gut feeling.


Back to the OP...

OP:

Based on everything I read about you, all you really have to do is ask women out. My guess is you only meet women in group settings, so you don't get any one-on-one time with them. Invite one of these females out for a drink. Then feel free to post a new thread about that or PM one of us. We can walk you through it. It should be fairly easy to at LEAST get a kiss. Then you can go from there.

Thank you! But, once I go out, as already happened the problem would be how to pass from the simple conversation between friends to something more.. I'm not talking about kissing, but about moving to a "giving a try" phase...

 

[Mike32ct]

Thank you! But, once I go out, as already happened the problem would be how to pass from the simple conversation between friends to something more.. I'm not talking about kissing, but about moving to a "giving a try" phase...

Great question. I had this problem for a while. I was a total "hands-off" gentleman on dates and never got any second dates. We would just talk and talk like two friends and nothing would happen.

You have to touch the girl. Maybe touch her forearm once or twice while making a point. But the best advice I ever got was put your hand on her shoulder for a second or two when you get up to go to the restroom. Then say, "I'll be right back." I actually got that advice from a female, but it actually worked. The first girl I tried it with later ended up being the first I had sex with. (It took a few weeks; it wasn't a ONS.)

Touch or kino as we say is a must to break out of friendzone. Granted, she can STILL friendzone you based on looks despite touching her, but if she is attracted to you, then it will help make it a little more clear it's more than friends.

The other thing is don't let the date go on too long. Besides being a "hands off" gentleman nice guy, we would talk and talk and talk for several hours. I thought that was a good sign. It wasn't.

Actually, the only way to really know how the date went is to see how she acts towards the end when you are about to kiss her.

Bad signs:

Keeps lot of (phyiscal) distance between both of you
Walks fast to her car.
Says, "It was nice meeting you." <Delete her number ASAP if you hear this>
Turns so you can only kiss her cheek

Good signs:

Looks you in the eyes
Keeps talking to you in front if the car
Kiss on lips or better yet makeout

Ambiguous sign:

She says "Call me." <She may or may not answer>


Finally, to back-track a bit, a hug "opener" at the beginning of a date like Unchartered mentions in another post is very good and another tool to help avoid friendzone. See below.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=208692

 

[Ihateinitiatingalot7]

I wonder, do you think for every male late bloomer forever loner there is a female late bloomer, forever loner as well? Or do you think there are far more human male late bloomers, forever loners?

that wouldn't surprise me, and yet, I don't get why people say men still have it easier, men are more lucky, because being a late bloomer has got to be painful

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Great question. I had this problem for a while. I was a total "hands-off" gentleman on dates and never got any second dates. We would just talk and talk like two friends and nothing would happen.

You have to touch the girl. Maybe touch her forearm once or twice while making a point. But the best advice I ever got was put your hand on her shoulder for a second or two when you get up to go to the restroom. Then say, "I'll be right back." I actually got that advice from a female, but it actually worked. The first girl I tried it with later ended up being the first I had sex with. (It took a few weeks; it wasn't a ONS.)

Touch or kino as we say is a must to break out of friendzone. Granted, she can STILL friendzone you based on looks despite touching her, but if she is attracted to you, then it will help make it a little more clear it's more than friends.

The other thing is don't let the date go on too long. Besides being a "hands off" gentleman nice guy, we would talk and talk and talk for several hours. I thought that was a good sign. It wasn't.

Actually, the only way to really know how the date went is to see how she acts towards the end when you are about to kiss her.

Bad signs:

Keeps lot of (phyiscal) distance between both of you
Walks fast to her car.
Says, "It was nice meeting you." <Delete her number ASAP if you hear this>
Turns so you can only kiss her cheek

Good signs:

Looks you in the eyes
Keeps talking to you in front if the car
Kiss on lips or better yet makeout

Ambiguous sign:

She says "Call me." <She may or may not answer>


Finally, to back-track a bit, a hug "opener" at the beginning of a date like Unchartered mentions in another post is very good and another tool to help avoid friendzone. See below.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=208692

That sounds legit, I would say all the OP needs to do is work on his game since he has his **** together already

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Great question. I had this problem for a while. I was a total "hands-off" gentleman on dates and never got any second dates. We would just talk and talk like two friends and nothing would happen.

You have to touch the girl. Maybe touch her forearm once or twice while making a point. But the best advice I ever got was put your hand on her shoulder for a second or two when you get up to go to the restroom. Then say, "I'll be right back." I actually got that advice from a female, but it actually worked. The first girl I tried it with later ended up being the first I had sex with. (It took a few weeks; it wasn't a ONS.)

Touch or kino as we say is a must to break out of friendzone. Granted, she can STILL friendzone you based on looks despite touching her, but if she is attracted to you, then it will help make it a little more clear it's more than friends.

The other thing is don't let the date go on too long. Besides being a "hands off" gentleman nice guy, we would talk and talk and talk for several hours. I thought that was a good sign. It wasn't.

Actually, the only way to really know how the date went is to see how she acts towards the end when you are about to kiss her.

Bad signs:

Keeps lot of (phyiscal) distance between both of you
Walks fast to her car.
Says, "It was nice meeting you." <Delete her number ASAP if you hear this>
Turns so you can only kiss her cheek

Good signs:

Looks you in the eyes
Keeps talking to you in front if the car
Kiss on lips or better yet makeout

Ambiguous sign:

She says "Call me." <She may or may not answer>


Finally, to back-track a bit, a hug "opener" at the beginning of a date like Unchartered mentions in another post is very good and another tool to help avoid friendzone. See below.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=208692

That sounds legit, I would say all the OP needs to do is work on his game since he has his **** together already, as his life together already

 

[JaegerPilot217]

My bad, posting this from my cell phone I didn't mean to put it twice

 

[LiveFreeX]

Don't date American Women, its not you, its them.

 

[mustfirstregister]

Who says if you do all this will guarantee you a gf?
"I am extroverted, I got different kind of friends, a good job and I try to attend as many as possible social occasions where I can meet new people"

 

[Demonicale]

Hey don't sweat it, I'm 30 and have had one girlfriend that lasted like a month. I know how it makes you feel, and it makes me feel the same.

I've had sex with loads of women, but never have i had a proper girlfriend before.

 

[WrEcKLeSS2000]

I'm in the exact same situation as you Jordi. I'm a couple years younger but believe me that doesn't make it feel any better. I've never had a girlfriend, nor a kiss, nor sex.


I do go out to events and talk to alot of women but I can't get past the friends zone with whomever I meet. My standards are pretty high but I find it difficult to meet someone of quality.


The problem is that many women out there are crappy and twitty. They don't need us to survive like they used to for thousands of years and all of a sudden they get "selective" yet still display poor judgement as evident by girls "choosing" the wrong guys that treat them like crap.


Society has turned men into wimps. Nice guys continue to finish last. As men, we need to revert back into strong and dominant beings.


Anyway, I feel like I've grown bitter and angry because of my situation. Bars/clubs are out of the equation due to the lack of decent women that show up.


There is not much more that I can do other than go to events but if nobody decent ever shows up that responds well to me, it's going to be difficult to ever meet someone.


One thing that I have learned is that getting the number is only half the battle as girls as prone to "flake" quite often if we don't build enough interest. It's really turned into a game of nonsense.

If it were only a little bit easier, meet someone decent, have a nice conversation, go out for a drink. Either works out or not but women make things too difficult for us.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

i'm 25 and almost 26 and I still haven't had a girlfriend yet but I have gone on dates with girls before though, although I still have yet to go on a date with a girl who I am really physically attracted to, those other dates I was just setting for those girls but one of them I could see myself having a relationship with, I did not feel I was settling for but unfortuneately I did not make it past the first date, and I kinda have this regret right but at the same time I do not dwell on it, but I feel I could have probably had my first girlfriend in high school my sophomore year, she was a freshman in my math class, this girl actually made the first move on me and she was my first peck on the check from a girl, it's a long story on how it happened but she was one of the very few rare girls that initiate, at the time I was not that attracted to her but looking back now I actually consider her decent looking, not bangin' model hot but attractive enough to consider a girlfriend, one of the main reasons why is because I dressed baller, hip-hop back then, like wearing Nike Air Force One shoes and wearing Sean John, Rocawear, Phat Farm, etc., meanwhile that girl was a little of the opposite of me and she said she hated Rap, was more of the rocker kinda girl like wearing mostly black, and I felt at the time I should be with a baller type of girl so I could impress my friends at the time, but anyway i'm long out of that style image, way long out of it, we never went on a date but we did exchange phone numbers though and she was the one who admitted first that she liked me, but nothing happened due to my reluctance at the time, yes I do regret it but I do not dwell on it, but I got my first kiss with a girl, tongue-wise at age 16 almost 17, late my junior year, my friends at the time set me up with this girl playing the game truth or dare, and I ended up losing my virginity at age 25, just close to 3 months ago, but it was 5 years ago when I was 20, when I went down on a girl(oral sex) for the first time and got my first bj, sucked on titties, fingered a girl for the first time, but no official relationship yet

 

[evan12]

@Jordi84: I think you have body language issue that you not signal you are a MAN.
read some articles of how to be confidant happy , if you cant make it fake it

 

[Ihateinitiatingalot7]

Its like all a woman has to be is cute, pretty, hot, look good and that's it literally if she wants to get a boyfriend, so yes mainly the young late teens and early 20's girls have it the easiest, mainly the hot ones, because when us guys see one we are already instantly attracted to them, but for girls it takes longer for them

 

[JaegerPilot217]

If I reached the OP's age and still single I would feel it is too late and feel like giving up, being past my prime already

 

[adam225]

It's never a case of "I haven't found a girlfriend". It's a case of "I haven't found myself"......